Being drove insane on the postnatal ward

[TrappedWindArse]

I gave birth yesterday via section, had a nasty hemmorage and am now stuck on the postnatal ward with a very lethargic and jaundice DS. I haven't slept properly in days. 20 mins here and there. I'm fucked.

There's a seemingly pleasant couple in the bay opposite me with their own newborn who is quite difficult to settle, so they do have my sympathy.

The problem is the dad has adopted a method of trying to sooth the baby by making that noise you make when you're trying to beckon a cat "click click pspspsps click click pspspsps"

Obviously it doesn't work, but that doesn't deter him.

Now imagine that on loop constantly, alongside not instead of, the poor grizzly newborn. All night long. Into the morning, then afternoon.

"Click click pspspspspspsps"

Another lady on the ward kindly introduced the mum to white noise on YouTube. It helps the baby a little, hurrah, mum is very thankful, but the dad is still doing that bloody cat noise.

WIBU to strangle him and cite temporary insanity due to hormones and extreme provocation? or at the very least ask him to bloody stop it

Just ask him to stop tell him it’s not working and annoying

Postnatal ward is hell. I was fortunate enough to have a planned home birth with dd2 and that was partly to avoid the postnatal ward.
A friend got a private room by crying a lot, and I mean a lot. She's normally very calm but on this occasion, to quote her "I was at the Oscar winning level of drama and tears" Worth a try?

Oh god definitely yell at him to shut the fuck up. If he seems angry cry and blame hormones.

I had a 55 year old first time mother next to me with one baby who cried all day and night about "what have I done" "I'm too old for this" etc etc. It broke my heart and my will to live. I asked to be discharged early because of her. 2 years later we met at the 2 yr health check and she and baby were thriving thank god.

@AveryGoodlay

Postnatal wards are he'll. There was a baby on one of mine who sounded like a cat when they cried!

Our NDN's once had a cat that sounded like a baby!

I'm giving birth in a week.

FML.

Ugh. Tell him to STFU.

There was a woman in my bay who snored like a revving tractor. She hadn't had the baby yet but was in for observation. It turned out that she had indigestion

@girlmom21

I'd tell the midwife he's upsetting/disturbing you. Patients are priority and it's better staff speak to him than you quietly go insane.

Definitely do this. I am a midwife and you ALL have my sympathy. Postnatal wards are hellish. Since covid we noticed that the women were much more rested without visitors they opened their curtains around bed and spoke to each other. Breastfeeding rates improved and women felt less inhibited knowing that there weren't any visitors around.

Since the visitor/fathers have returned to the wards things have gone back to the same old as you describe.
I'd have no hesitation in telling the father some bollocks like there is a lady on the ward very poorly and needs as much quiet time as possible. They should respect that they aren't the only ones in there and that bloody pst pst noise would get on my nerves too.
Skin to skin contact can work wonders to soothe a crying baby. This should be suggested to him.

Omg this drives me insane! I've not experienced it on a postnatal ward, thankfully,but I've witnessed it on numerous buses and in cafes, restaurants and coffee shops lately. It wouldn't be so bad,but 99% of the time,it does absolutely nothing to pacify the baby! And yes,it really does sound like they are calling a cat!

55 FTM! Blimey...

That is why I saved up for a private room. It was worth every single penny. People are incredibly selfish and self absorbed.

Tell him to STFU, and also fuck off home.

@Pandaly

Some of the worst 3 days of my life.

Likewise. I had typed a lengthy post about my horrendous experience but deleted it as it was unfair to unleash my rage on op as she's still in the throes of postnatal ward hell. I reckon I'm still traumatised by it 10 years later

@TrappedWindArse just tell him to stop. Chances are you'll never see the asshole again so channel some hormonal rage and let him have it. Or close your curtains and phone someobody (pretend to phone somebody) and tell them loudly that the noise is wrecking your head.

Since covid we noticed that the women were much more rested without visitors they opened their curtains around bed and spoke to each other. Breastfeeding rates improved and women felt less inhibited knowing that there weren't any visitors around.

That's really interesting. Maybe it will change future policy on having men around all the time (for the hospitals that do that)? I absolutely hated having men on the ward as there was no privacy at all. I didn't expect to feel like that beforehand.

With my fourth I had an emcs. I was 40, in shock and knackered. I had lovely deliveries with my boys and this was an awful experience. In the hospital I had her, it was mixed post and ante natal admissions so I had a young girl next to me with hyperaemia but just constant loud dry heaving. Day and night. A couple opposite who had a new baby and they fought constantly. Day 2, dad arrived to collect them on a motorbike I kid you not. The other lady was in for antenatal monitoring and had a really loud youtube and music habit and got a fucking dominoes brought in at midnight. I hate the lack of visiting hours.

I HATED it. Went home as soon as I could.

My first born I loved the ladies on the ward, there was a real sense of caneraderie and had a bit of a giggle. That was 18 years ago though and the ward had visiting hours. It was great.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow

Please tell me they have called the kid Felix.

I was “lucky”, I got a single room as my baby was premature.

Private room here last year. Everyone had to have private due to covid.
Still a racket of hearing doors open and close and trollies wheeled up and down the corridor all night. They came in at 5.30am to start checks on baby and deliver breakfast, and expected you to be up and showered.

I left asap

@Aderyn21

Don't they send dad's home at some point? I wouldn't want to be on a postnatal ward with other people's husband's around all day.

When I had DD in the summer they came round a few hours after my section, moved me into a different ward and told me I'd been a close contact of covid. No visitors allowed in the ward at all, it was fucking bliss!

@Cuntness

I'm giving birth in a week.

FML.

If you can, reserve a private room at your hospital.

Worth. Every. Penny.

You will get it refunded if you don't use it (e.g. don't require a ward stay)

OP you have my utmost sympathy. Post Natal wards are pure torture

The other lady was in for antenatal monitoring and had a really loud youtube and music habit and got a fucking dominoes brought in at midnight.

Wow. I can't believe this was even allowed. Terrible.

Oh god you’re all giving me flashbacks. And it’s so HOT.

Utter sweating loud bastarding misery.

@MistyFrequencies

Oh god definitely yell at him to shut the fuck up. If he seems angry cry and blame hormones.

I had a 55 year old first time mother next to me with one baby who cried all day and night about "what have I done" "I'm too old for this" etc etc. It broke my heart and my will to live. I asked to be discharged early because of her. 2 years later we met at the 2 yr health check and she and baby were thriving thank god.

Sounds like the kind of baby blues I get ie feeling like a dementor is in the room from days 2-11.

@WheelieBinPrincess

I’d have paid for a side room! I asked the midwife if it was an option and she said ‘this isn’t the premier inn!’

But on the hospital literature it says you can request and pay!

I'm 37 weeks pregnant with my first. I'm dreading the post natal ward, I was considering asking about paying for a private room but was worried I'd get the same response you did 😆

I had dd one NYE about 11am . They wanted me to stay in as risk of large blood loss as had lots of dc..
The then woke me up at 12 to say Happy New Year!!
The woman across from me had family arrive and 8 am... About a dozen of them pulling a hamper and carrying champagne...
I discharged myself..

I'm having a section next week and they want me to stay for 4 days after 😨😨😅😅 my consultant has requested I get a private room but if none are available then it sounds like I'll probably crack up by the end of day one and I'll be held in remand by day two 🙈🙈

If I was in charge of maternity services I would commission Travel Lodge or similar to build a block next to the hospital. All women who had uncomplicated deliveries would go to a family room there. Care to be provided by community midwives as if they were at home.
Maternity wards would be single rooms only and only one visitor at a time, whether that was a friend, partner, or other relative. That person would be there to offer moral support and practical help, but would be removed by security if they caused any nuisance at all.
I think maternity care is unacceptably awful these days.