Is it weird to keep her with me until 5?

[Whatwillyakkabetoday]

Dd, is 3 and an August birthday. Is it unusual to keep her at home with me until she turns 5 and send her the September after she turns 5?
I’m a nursery teacher so do lots of activities at home etc.
She wouldn’t have any pre school etc until 5
Has anyone done this?

I did that with my oldest son and I never regretted it.

Not weird at all! My daughter is a June 2016 baby and I decided to defer her. She has plenty of friends and we do lots of groups. I managed to keep her in all those groups (ballet and swimming etc) for that extra year. She would have started September just gone and would have been the oldest in her class but I decided to home ed her and my 2 yr old as I don’t want to send them to school. I enjoy their company and all is good for the time being 😊

Sorry if someone has already posted this but a child under five who has been mostly with their Mummy will probably feel secure and loved and head into the world full of confidence. A child of this age will soon adjust to the social aspect of school.

@Weareallvirgins

I dont think anyyone should have a choice. She will end up one of those weird kids clingy and unsocialised. Pre schools fun for kids. It's not about you.

🤣🤣🤣

Both my sister and I are August birthdays and went to school at 4. Tbf our birthdays landed 7 and 10 days after the schools went back after the summer holidays. My daughters birthday is the start of February and she went to school in august when she was 4 and then wasn’t 5 until the following February and it did her well, she’s 17 now and training to be a paramedic. It really depends on your child

You are a nursery teacher so you know the answer to this one. You are entitled to bring up your own child however you wish. She will learn "socialisation" when she goes to school, and in all or the other daily interactions she has with people in the wide world. She will learn "independence" the same way. There is no one "right" way to bring up children. I really don't understand those people who define this as "holding back" your child. It's an alternative way, that's all. BTW I used to be a nursery teacher too.

Couldn’t wait to ship my July baby off to school at just turned four 😁

My friend’s son was born on 1st September, she was absolutely gutted she had to keep him home another year.

Joking aside, I would let him start school with children his school year and be able to make new friends at the same time as everyone else.

I would send her to school. Reception is very play based anyway. My 4 year old (older than a summer baby) was 7 weeks premature, has a hearing impairment and a speech delay. She used to go to nursery 4 days a week. Since she started school in September 2021 she has become a totally different child! Her speech is much clearer and she is so much more confident!

My daughter was an end if August baby. I didn't hold her back a year, she had nursery from 3 and went to reception at 4. At no point did she struggle, even though she was almost a year behind the other children.
My son was put into nursery before he was 2 as he needed that social interaction and was ready for nursery.
I do think that not giving her that vital interaction with her peers will not be a good thing. From experience, one of my daughters friends didn't experience nursery, or reception, and she had no social skills at all.

Numerous countries send their children to school later than we do. Your dd will be fine if you keep her with you until she’s ready. Do find her a pre-school though. In Scandinavia, they do go to school at 7 as someone else said, but they go to pre-school well before that.

I was primary school trained and taught first school age children in different types of schools. I have 3 children. My first 2 went to part time nursery when we lived abroad and, after a week, were happy there. My 3rd didn't - not because I particularly wanted her to stay home with me, but because we'd come back to the UK and she enjoyed it, we had loads of play dates and I took her to toddler groups. She is a lot younger than her siblings and was very precocious, playing the same games on the computer as her older brother and his friends. When she eventually went to school she took to it like a duck to water. Your child is only just 3, OP. She obviously isn't ready for the 'joys' of nursery. Another year or 2 home with you honestly won't ruin her intellectual or social development. After 6th form my 3rd took a gap year in India and had spell in Africa, too, before getting a 1st from a Russell group university. I obviously didnt ruin her life keeping her home with me. The other 2 did equally well. Don't stress. Love your little one and enjoy her and she'll do well.

Just try again in six months and save up to send her to a place you like. She obviously wasn’t ready. Does she do any activities without you by her side? Eg swimming/dance/gymnastics

Is this exactly why kids get free hours when they turn 3? So they don’t start school having never left home? Vert strange to me that you wouldn’t want her to get this interaction, especially as you said you’re a nursery teacher.

Sorry I didn’t see all the other posts !

@Spudina

IME August born babies do fine in school. You would be doing her a disservice.

@Spudina The difference between a child born in September and the other in August the following can be quite a lot so I don't agree with you there.

My sister did this with her little girl and has massively regretted it, she is now 10 and very attached to her to the point where she will refuse play dates and going out! My two boys aged 1.5 and 7 both went to nursery from five/six months as we both work full time and I wouldn't have it any other way, we have a good balance of attachment and social life for both the kids and us. They're well rounded and confident, don't think this is easily achieved ay home. I'd strongly recommend sending her in, maybe ease her in x

My eldest child had a staggered start to primary school as he maintained a few days at forest school when starting reception at the local primary.

My youngest missed preschool due to covid.

Both my children are flourishing and whatever they missed in those early years / months has been caught up and evened out, so we barely even remember their delayed start to formal education.

Both made friends fine. Children who move schools find nee friends quickly so ignore people who say that your child will miss forming the friendship groups.

Sounds to me like all the posters telling you it's wrong to delay your daughter's start, are just jealous that they couldn't keep their darling children at home longer.

Do what is best for your child. By the time they get to year 3, like my eldest (aged 7) it will make no difference!

I don't think once a fortnight is enough social contact with peers after age 2 never mind 3 or older.

Go for it
My august born son didn’t start school until 5. He did have 2 years at preschool though so wasn’t socially isolated.
4 is too young for formal education and he wasn’t ready. Have you looked at the summerborn campaign? They’ll help you figure out how to speak to schools about it.

summerbornchildren.org/2015/09/08/minister-says-school-admissions-code-will-be-amended-and-summer-born-scandal-stopped/

You’ve not answered potential language issue OP?
You are abroad. She’s English speaking at home with you and you are expecting her to go to a local school speaking a foreign language?

So long as the class she goes into is all the same year group I wouldn’t see any problems ….
But …
my August born went into a class that was multi year (80’s idea 🥴)
so she was with kids aged up to 7
Bullying and lack of control was dreadful and she suffered and regressed .
After being moved to a more traditional school she did very well and no longer feared going to school.
I quote ‘school taught me that the world isn’t nice ‘

I work for (I’m a nanny) a family that never used childcare facilities and home educate. They don’t follow an online curriculum or home education curriculum. Their children are 7,5,1 and a few weeks.

Honestly their children are all much more intelligent and more developed in all areas than they should be for each of their age.

7 year old is at GSCE level for maths and science and 5 year old isn’t far behind…

They are young for their age in obvious ways eg. Still believe in Santa, watch and enjoy peppy pig/ other young kids shows. I think that has more to do with there being younger ones around though.

Socially these children are polite, act appropriately in public and you genuinely couldn’t tell are educated any different. They meet a new friend in the park their sort of age and they’re best friends within a couple of minutes.

Obviously some children are naturally shy/ find socialising difficult but I can say this has nothing to do with going to school/ nursery or not.

The plan is to be home educated until each is 11 (join year 7) and it’s a school where there’s no feeder and is a private school so kids come from all sorts of backgrounds.

These children are very privileged and love a country life with no sort of limits eg. Baking everyday, arts/ crafts always offered, learn instruments, pursue any interests. Anything broken immediately replaced.

What I’m trying to say is keeping your child at home is not going to hold them back in most circumstances. I will say financially think carefully about not taking the free 30hrs but obviously don’t know your circumstances.

Thanks so much everyone for your views and feedback, such divided opinions! 🙈

@Dixiechickonhols Yes, this is a huge part of it, but what option do we have? We can’t afford the expensive, private, international schools where they teach in English. Also I’m not so sure about that as how would she ever integrate. From my experience, they learn the language really quickly and she will adapt, but I feel awful throwing her in at the deep end like that. She knows a few words of our now home country and we try to teach her when we can, but I’m mainly focusing on phonics etc in English and it can all be too much, don’t want to overload her.
It’s really made me seriously think about coming home to the U.K.

Depends on the child. My DS is like a border collie, he's smart and full of beans, a few days out of school like now at half term and he's bouncing off the walls because I can't stimulate him the way they do at school. But then you are a teacher so maybe that won't be a problem for you!