Is it weird to keep her with me until 5?

[Whatwillyakkabetoday]

Dd, is 3 and an August birthday. Is it unusual to keep her at home with me until she turns 5 and send her the September after she turns 5?
I’m a nursery teacher so do lots of activities at home etc.
She wouldn’t have any pre school etc until 5
Has anyone done this?

Literally just with you, or lots of playgroups, activities, playdates etc with similarly aged children?

@Aroundtheworldin80moves Learning at home, lots of time outside and play dates once a week or fortnight (no playgroups where we are, but lots friends with kids)

What are your reasons for not sending her to pre school? Where would she get the socialisation and social skills learnt to manage school and large groups of children? Where would she learn the structure of pre school/school which all the children will be used to? Will she be used to spending periods of time away from you by then?
I think it’s unusual but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

So she'd miss the first year of school? Why would you do that?

She probably loves being with you all the time now because she’s 3 but I think you need to give her lots of opportunities to socialise with her peers without you. I’m sure you will do loads of activities at home together but I honestly believe children need to experience other environments before they start school. I’m a primary teacher.

Unless she's behind send her to school.

IME August born babies do fine in school. You would be doing her a disservice.

What's your reasoning for possibly not having her in school until 5?

What are your reasons for it?

If there’s a benefit to her it’s fine. If it’s because it’s a benefit to you then not so much.

I take it by “term after September” you mean January? I wouldn’t start her mid way through the year.

If there are genuine reasons for deferral then I’d defer until the next year rather than miss half a year. Going into an established class group is going to be more difficult,

Let her go to school. Why wouldn’t you?! Sounds like that would be more for you than her.

I think if theres a feeder nursery for the school then it's useful to send a child. They get to routine, being away from mum for couple of hours, becoming more independent.

I don't think a play date once a week or fortnight is anywhere near enough time with other children tbh.

Of the children in my DD class who have been kept back a year, they are all ok until Year 1 when the children are maturing and suddenly they find they seem older than their class mates.

August children are just fine in school and it's usually the parents who are struggling with the concept of them going to school not the child.

Is there a reason you think it would be detrimental to her to follow the normal route? Or do you wish to keep her with you for your own benefit?

Sorry just reread about her being an August baby.

I really think it'll do worse her having limited social action and structure until 5yo.

My friend kept her May born home until reception and he adapted just fine. I realise your kid is 3 months younger than that but you may find she is more than ready for reception. I agree just-4 is really young to start school but others will be in the same position and teachers will be used to it. She will change a lot in the next year, I’d definitely apply for school next month and reassess nearer the time.

also where does she go now while you’re teaching nursery? Isn’t your nursery somewhere you’d like her to experience, and she could still be with you?

Play dates once a fortnight or even a week, isnt enough. She needs social interaction outside of the home. It's okay if you don't want to send her to school at 4 but she needs nursery or pre school at least. Her transition to school will be so much smoother/easier. She'll end up being an anxious over whelmed little girl.

You say you are nursery teacher, does she come with you at work?

I haven't done this but have friends who sent in their children in the January or even the year after and it was fine. You wouldn't know now. Conversely my August born cousin really struggled and ended up being kept back a year as just wasn't ready.

In some Scandinavian countries compulsory education doesn't start until 7 and it doesn't do them any harm. Given your background I imagine your child will be given loads of opportunities to develop socially, academically and emotionally without going to school so soon so they won't be behind. If your child was not going to have an development opportunities at home then sending her in would be better.

There's a summer born boy in my sons reception class. He didn't go to nursery or preschool for medical reasons and it shows. He's struggles a lot with the social side of school and the structure. He's on short days still and not likely to be able to cope with a full day for a while.

Unless there's a medical reason to not send her to preschool, I think you're doing her a disservice.

I know his mum is really sad she couldn't send him to any preschool or nursery

It is unusual yes. It wouldn't have worked for my dc who were chomping at the bit to go to school at 3 and loved it.
Like others have said - you haven't stated why you would do this or why you would hold her back a year.

Who is with her when you're at work?

I’m not sure the op works. Maybe she means that’s her qualifications rather than her job.

I also agree that children need to learn socialisation and independence. To suddenly be away from a parent for the first time at five can be very damaging and traumatic, some adjust some struggle. Irregular play dates isn’t remotely the same, as being in a social setting with multiple peers and learning how to interact.

I’d expect a nursery teacher to know that though, so am surprised at the question

For who's benefit? Yours or hers?

They learn loads of brilliant soft skills at nursery/pre school that helps them be kind and build friendships as well as all the learning stuff. We sent DS at 3 because we didn't want him to miss out on that socialisation and we were doing way more activities with other kids on a weekly basis than you are.