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Original poster

Ffs my dd just had friend's license confiscated!

277 replies

1lifeliveitright · 26/10/2021 21:55

17 yr dd (18 next month) went out with a couple of friends tonight. In the 2nd bar she was asked for id and handed over a friend's provisional. The real document but it's not hers. Anyway it was taken off her and the bar man refused to give it back. Even after speaking to his supervisor. Dd left but now has no Id anymore and her friend has lost her actual license. I appreciate they have both committed an offence in doing this but how does she get it back?! I tried to warn her of the dangers of doing this but she's done it several times before and of course she knows best!

OP posts:
SoniaFouler · 26/10/2021 22:41

@Comefromaway
I can see this happening to Ds when he’s 18 in a few months time. He’s incredibly young looking and his photo was taken from his passport and squashed onto the driving licence. It looks nothing like him. In fact it looks like a corpse.

Lol!
When I was younger (but over 18) I still looked like a child and I had my OWN licence taken away from me because some of the laminate had peeled off the corner and it was accused of being fake Angry I er…did get it back though.

OnlyGin · 26/10/2021 22:42

Sorry I can't get over someone suggesting the police would go so far as to prosecute a nearly 18 year old for using a fake ID in a bar 🤣 as if it doesn't happen every day of the week.

Did no one ever do this when they were young?

Obecalp · 26/10/2021 22:43

If I lent someone a PlayStation game that was an 18 even though they were 17 but they broke it I’d expect them to pay the full amount

That's so different. Them breaking the disc had nothing to do with the fact you shouldn't have lent them an 18-rated game.

Losing her ID is directly related to lending it to her friend, when she knew she would be using it as a fake ID, which comes with a risk of loss of the ID.

If my DD lent an iD to a friend who she knew would he using it as a fake ID, I would tell her that was a risk she was willing to take when she lent it knowing what it would be used for. I would tell her to pay some towards it and not he so stupid next time.

LittleGwyneth · 26/10/2021 22:44

Did everyone clutching their pearls genuinely wait until their 18th birthday before setting foot in a pub or club? You can't even get in, drinking or otherwise, without and ID.

Borrowing ID is a tale as old as time. Or at least it was common place in the early 2010s when I was a teenager.

Your DD should pay for a replacement for her friend, or the friend should go down and pick it up. It's hardly the end of the world. And you clearly gave a lovely open relationship with your DD given that she told you what was going on.

ancientgran · 26/10/2021 22:45

@HopeYourHighHorseBucks

Seen this loads of time.

Honestly, get the friend to say she doesnt know how her friend got her I.D bla bla they wont believe her obviously but they will give it back and might possibly bar both of them, but the hassle of calling the police or having the police called to the premises over a real but misused I.D is not worth it and even if they did, the police will more likely have a "strong word" with your DD and hope shes learnt her lesson.

The barman could get into trouble, upto an unlimited fine. If I was him I'd report it. If it was the licensee he could lose his license and of course that could mean losing his job. Seventeen year olds need to be held responsible for the disruption they can cause to an innocent persons life.
Obecalp · 26/10/2021 22:45

Whereas you don't lend a PlayStation disk out to a friend to play as you normally would, thinking there is a strong risk they will break it. To break it they must have not been looking after your property properly, therefore they should pay the full amount.

She can't "look after the ID properly" so as to not risk losing it. The intent is fake ID, which involves showing said fake ID when asked, and possibly getting it confiscated. The person who lent it knew that.

ancientgran · 26/10/2021 22:47

@LittleGwyneth

Did everyone clutching their pearls genuinely wait until their 18th birthday before setting foot in a pub or club? You can't even get in, drinking or otherwise, without and ID.

Borrowing ID is a tale as old as time. Or at least it was common place in the early 2010s when I was a teenager.

Your DD should pay for a replacement for her friend, or the friend should go down and pick it up. It's hardly the end of the world. And you clearly gave a lovely open relationship with your DD given that she told you what was going on.

I've never used fake ID. I'm teetotal so never felt the need. I lived in a pub, father was a licensee and him losing his license would have seen him, my mother and 3 children homeless. Not funny at all.
PieMistee · 26/10/2021 22:49

God times have changed. At 15 we were raving in fields and being served in pubs without a question.

WickedWitchOfTheTrent · 26/10/2021 22:50

Well she's been an idiot and will have to own up to her friend and deal with the consequences. Almost 18, is almost and adult, I'm amazed you are sympathising with your dd and her friend when your dd has been an idiot

HopeYourHighHorseBucks · 26/10/2021 22:50

Some posters have watched far too much TV. She will most likely get it back after an awkward conversation (depending what lie she goes with) theres not many teens banged up for fraud because they used someone's I.D. It happens every weekend.

LittleGwyneth · 26/10/2021 22:52

@ancientgran it's a totally different story now though. Lots of pubs won't even let you in - drinking or otherwise - without and ID. So she wouldn't be able to hang out with her friends socially without a fake ID.

@piemistee I think there was a lot to be said for being able to get served without ID back in the day - by the time I was a teenager it was impossible. The local Wetherspoons took a scan of your ID on the way in, no supermarket will sell booze to an under 25 without ID. Not much fun!

Againstmachine · 26/10/2021 22:52

I'll go out on a limb: I bought my DS 17 his fake ID. £45 and it's bloody good. I have no qualms at all. So sue me.

I know you think you are being clever and the cool mum but you really aren't and what you are teaching your son isn't very good eithier.

ancientgran · 26/10/2021 22:53

@HopeYourHighHorseBucks

Some posters have watched far too much TV. She will most likely get it back after an awkward conversation (depending what lie she goes with) theres not many teens banged up for fraud because they used someone's I.D. It happens every weekend.
Not where I live. The police and LA and local licensed premises have an agreement that false ID will be seized and collected by the police and then returned to the issuing authority e.g. DVLA. The police will then investigate. They advise parents or other owners of ID not to try and persuade venues to return the ID.

Don't know if other areas have similar schemes.

HemanOrSheRa · 26/10/2021 22:53

The barman could get into trouble, upto an unlimited fine. If I was him I'd report it. If it was the licensee he could lose his license and of course that could mean losing his job. Seventeen year olds need to be held responsible for the disruption they can cause to an innocent persons life. Eh? No he won't. Because he checked for ID and didn't serve her.

suburbanhousewine · 26/10/2021 22:54

Honestly not a big deal. We did this all the time as kids. It’s funny as many on here would have been from the time when you could get served underage easily.

Get friend to apply for new ID and say she lost it rather than admit the crime. Make sure DD covers the cost.

thiccapricot · 26/10/2021 22:56

Ah this reminds me of my youth! The thrill of never knowing if they’ll accept your ID or not…her friend will be able to pick the ID up from the bar

NoDecentHandlesLeft · 26/10/2021 22:57

I'm also surprised she's the only one of her friends not 18 yet. Were they all born in Sept-Nov in her friendship group? I was August born, so was the very last of my friends to go out clubbing (not savvy enough to have a fake ID!)

Unreasonabubble · 26/10/2021 22:59

@Againstmachine

I'll go out on a limb: I bought my DS 17 his fake ID. £45 and it's bloody good. I have no qualms at all. So sue me.

I know you think you are being clever and the cool mum but you really aren't and what you are teaching your son isn't very good eithier.

So when he becomes an alcoholic or an irresponsible alcohol abuser because you encouraged his drinking from an early age, you won't take any responsibility or won't recognise it?
ancientgran · 26/10/2021 23:01

@HemanOrSheRa

The barman could get into trouble, upto an unlimited fine. If I was him I'd report it. If it was the licensee he could lose his license and of course that could mean losing his job. Seventeen year olds need to be held responsible for the disruption they can cause to an innocent persons life. Eh? No he won't. Because he checked for ID and didn't serve her.
She created the risk for him and her mother says she has done it before. He was lucky that he called it right and the other people who have served her were very lucky. So yes her actions could have got him into serious trouble, it is no credit to her that these people haven't been badly affected by her selfish and illegal actions.
NeedAHoliday2021 · 26/10/2021 23:01

My dad made my fake ID. It meant I was hanging out with my older brother and his friends and 20 years later I’m a law abiding citizen who always drank sensibly (until I was in my 30s post dc and went a little wild - awful hangovers soon got me over that).

lynntheyresexpeople · 26/10/2021 23:04

Bloody hell, I can't believe the judgement and hysterical reactions on this thread 😂
We used to do this all the time aged 17, it's not like she's committed a serious offence, and she absolutely will not be arrested nor will it effect her university application.

The barman is actually breaking the law, he cannot keep the license. Find out which bar and I'd go in and tell them you want it back or you're reporting them to trading standards and or the police.

Or, pull a will mckenzie and start screaming about how everyone in this bloody bar is underage, his mum still buys his trousers - etc.

HopeYourHighHorseBucks · 26/10/2021 23:04

Honestly OP just tell the friend to try her luck In going down there, if it dont work then report it lost and let them sort it out between themselves who is paying.

LawnFever · 26/10/2021 23:06

@Viviennemary

The ID wasn't lost. It was lent out for fraudulent purposes.
And? God don’t be so sanctimonious Grin

OP the friend needs to pop in, make up a white lie about her cousin/younger sister etc taking it without permission and see if they’ll give it back, if that’s a no go she reports it lost and your dd needs to pay for a new one.

She should pay for it all not go halves, she got it confiscated but it’s really not the end of the world.

Wiltshire90 · 26/10/2021 23:07

Not sure why people are saying the barman is breaking the law - why would he give someone else's ID back to the daughter who had already fraudulently tried to use it? The person whose ID it actually is needs to go and claim it. The OP has said the daughter hasn't told the friend yet so presumably she's unaware the barman even has the ID.

tttigress · 26/10/2021 23:08

In my day (very early 90s), you did need a fake id. I cringe when I think that we must have looked like children going to the bar, and getting served no problems!!