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Original poster

Ffs my dd just had friend's license confiscated!

277 replies

1lifeliveitright · 26/10/2021 21:55

17 yr dd (18 next month) went out with a couple of friends tonight. In the 2nd bar she was asked for id and handed over a friend's provisional. The real document but it's not hers. Anyway it was taken off her and the bar man refused to give it back. Even after speaking to his supervisor. Dd left but now has no Id anymore and her friend has lost her actual license. I appreciate they have both committed an offence in doing this but how does she get it back?! I tried to warn her of the dangers of doing this but she's done it several times before and of course she knows best!

OP posts:
trappedsincesundaymorn · 27/10/2021 06:24

*is refusing

rrhuth · 27/10/2021 06:31

@Obecalp

They both did something morally wrong that lead to one of them losing their ID, why should only one pay the price for it?
I think 'morally wrong' is a bit dramatic.
Eralos · 27/10/2021 06:31

No going halves is not the answer your daughter needs to pay for all the costs. You’re both coming across as a bit entitled the fact that you’re concerned at all about your dd not having any Id rather than the girl who’s lost her Id and then suggesting going halves say a lot. Your daughter needs to tell her friend now and apologise profusely.

Poolhater · 27/10/2021 06:36

She needs to tell her friend asap (what if her friend genuinely needs it) and if the friend decides to get a replacement your daughter pays the whole amount.

FrenchFancie · 27/10/2021 06:45

Lol I was regularly sneaking into bars (not using fake I’d though). However I will repeat what my mum said to a similar problem that came up amongst my friendship group at the time ‘ if you’re old enough to play adult games (like drinking) you’re old enough to sort your own problems out’

She needs to pay for a new licence. You probably shouldn’t be supporting her in underage drinking - I know it’s very common but it does lead to some kids having issues so I would be a bit pissed off if my underage dd was drinking and using a borrowed ID.

Offmyfence · 27/10/2021 06:54

@HemanOrSheRa

The barman could get into trouble, upto an unlimited fine. If I was him I'd report it. If it was the licensee he could lose his license and of course that could mean losing his job. Seventeen year olds need to be held responsible for the disruption they can cause to an innocent persons life. Eh? No he won't. Because he checked for ID and didn't serve her.
Exactly, he's not going to be prosecuted, lose his license, fined etc ..... when actually he did his job!
Pandaly · 27/10/2021 06:59

@1lifeliveitright

Yes I meant has no 'fake' id anymore! I agree she's has her comeuppance but I feel for her as she's the only 1 not quite 18 yet. She hasn't dare tell the friend yet. Probably paying or going halves on a new one maybe the answer. God in a few weeks it won't be an issue but it did make me wonder are they allowed to keep it? What if it was actually hers? Dd and friend do look very similar hence why she's got away with it before.
That doesn't make it any better. She can wait until she's 18 and use her own ID. Like all her friends should have done. It's not about having passable fake ID it's about being 18. She isn't.

Going halves is not the answer, she needs to offer to pay for the whole cost as she's the one who has lost it. She should never have put her friend in the position to feel she has to lend it to her.

Your daughter needs to act like the adult she's claiming to be.

Offmyfence · 27/10/2021 06:59

[quote GreenLakes]@Unreasonabubble

Ime it is the DC whose parents don’t allow them to touch alcohol until they’re 18 who end up having issues with it in later life![/quote]
Agree!

It becomes forbidden fruit.

Tilltheend99 · 27/10/2021 07:02

Her friend will have to apply for and pay for a new provisional.

Your DD will just have to accept the consequences of trying to get away with it an failing.

DD is old enough to apply for her own provisional she just won’t be old enough to use it in bars for another month.

Well done to the bouncer for doing his job I say.

VividGemini · 27/10/2021 07:10

@Sinthie

Wow people are harsh. Things have changed since my day - I didn’t even need a fake id, heavy make-up and heels were enough 😆
In some towns (Watford for example) they ID at all bars and clubs at certain times, regardless of age, as part of a crime prevention strategy.
SpiderinaWingMirror · 27/10/2021 07:12

Well, you could go down there and try asking for it?
By all means apply for another buy I had to renew mine recently. I applied online mid August as soon as I had the reminder, it arrived 2 days ago. Let's hope friend doesn't need it.

Darbs76 · 27/10/2021 07:18

They won’t give to to your DD and it’s not hers. Send her friend to collect it

ILoveYouMoreTheEnd · 27/10/2021 07:19

@RussianSpy101

Oh ffs! All the pearl clinchers on here who never had a fake ID or know this kind of thing happens. My eyes can’t roll back far enough. She will not go to prison, OP 🙄 nor will it affect her UCAS application.

Get her to pay the fee for replacing her friends license. It’s about £20.
Job done.

@RussianSpy101 Pearl clutches 🤣🤣🤣 thank you for the early morning laugh x
Practicebeingpatient · 27/10/2021 07:21

@BigGreenOlives

Your daughter’s friend just reports it lost and applies for a new one. Your daughter pays any costs.
This.

Most teenagers do this. It's not a big deal but it is good to hear of a bar taking licensing responsibilities seriously.

Explosivefarts · 27/10/2021 07:24

@dworky

Can't believe these responses, he has no right to keep it!
He has no right to keep it but it could be stolen as far as he in concerned . So the bar will give it back to the rightful owner. He has done nothing wrong
Explosivefarts · 27/10/2021 07:26

Agree with others if she need a replacement your DD pays full amount . Any friend would do that

BeautifulBirds · 27/10/2021 07:35

Why is a doorman or bar staff keeping ID? They have no legal right to do this.

Waahingwashingwashing · 27/10/2021 07:35

Her friend needs to go in with a half believable story and see if she can get it back. If not, your DD pays for a replacement.

And don’t borrow fake ID again.

Carrotsandbroccoli · 27/10/2021 07:49

I’m a bit surprised at the level of sanctimony on this thread. Yes, fake ID is wrong blah blah blah. But didn’t we all do this?!

Spudlet · 27/10/2021 07:51

Blimey, how times have changed… the first time I was ever ID-ed at the scuzzy local club that we all went to was on my 18th birthday - because I insisted, because for the first time in years I was actually legally out drinking Grin And I was a copper’s daughter too! Which is all a bit Shock with hindsight, but the nineties were a different time…

Your dd has two choices - cough up £20 for the replacement or help her mate come up with a decent story to get it back. I’d go with option A, personally, and if anyone does go to the mate, the mate just says she lost it so ordered a new one 🤷‍♀️ Hopefully it’s given them both a little scare and they’ll have a bit more sense next time.

Spudlet · 27/10/2021 07:53

@Carrotsandbroccoli

I’m a bit surprised at the level of sanctimony on this thread. Yes, fake ID is wrong blah blah blah. But didn’t we all do this?!
Yes, but remember that anyone who drinks more than a thimbleful of sherry once a year is a raging alcoholic to some posters on this forum…
Carrotsandbroccoli · 27/10/2021 07:54

@Spudlet
True Grin

kegel · 27/10/2021 08:01

Why doesn't the friend just go to the bar and say her friend took it without permission and she would like it back?

Cadent · 27/10/2021 08:04

@Carrotsandbroccoli

I’m a bit surprised at the level of sanctimony on this thread. Yes, fake ID is wrong blah blah blah. But didn’t we all do this?!
It’s not sanctimony, it’s despairing at stupidity.

Her dd gave her friend’s fake ID and then OP is FFSing about it as if her dd was wronged. 🙄 Give me a break.

ifonly4 · 27/10/2021 08:05

I'd be telling them to both go together and see if they'll give it back to DD's friend.