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AIBU?

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Original poster

Ffs my dd just had friend's license confiscated!

277 replies

1lifeliveitright · 26/10/2021 21:55

17 yr dd (18 next month) went out with a couple of friends tonight. In the 2nd bar she was asked for id and handed over a friend's provisional. The real document but it's not hers. Anyway it was taken off her and the bar man refused to give it back. Even after speaking to his supervisor. Dd left but now has no Id anymore and her friend has lost her actual license. I appreciate they have both committed an offence in doing this but how does she get it back?! I tried to warn her of the dangers of doing this but she's done it several times before and of course she knows best!

OP posts:
Comefromaway · 26/10/2021 22:18

And suppose she has no passport? We are in a pandemic still when people are not going abroad. The photo on the passport is often the same as a driving licence anyway now you apply online and if they didn’t believe one, why would they believe the other.

Viviennemary · 26/10/2021 22:18

Your DD could end up with a criminal record. It is a crime to use fake id.

Cocomarine · 26/10/2021 22:18

Going halves on a new one?!!
Halves!
That’s taking the piss.

Don’t get involved at all. If she’s old enough to use fake ID - she’s old enough to work out what she’s going to do about it 🤷🏻‍♀️

RevolutionRadio · 26/10/2021 22:21

I'd get your daughter to tell her friend asap and then her friend could try going to the bar to reclaim it.

If that doesn't work then she'd need to report it as lost or stolen. In which case, I hope her friend doesn't have a driving test anytime soon as there's been hold ups at DVLA.

Againstmachine · 26/10/2021 22:24

Can't believe these responses, he has no right to keep it!

He could have called the police who could confiscate it and prosecute the daughter, if that seems a better outcome for her then.

Obecalp · 26/10/2021 22:25

I think halves is fair. Her friend wouldn't have lost her ID and need to buy a new one if she hasn't agreed for this girl to use it.

NerrSnerr · 26/10/2021 22:25

She needs to tell the friend so she can try and get it back. If she can't your daughter should pay for a new one.

Obecalp · 26/10/2021 22:27

They both did something morally wrong that lead to one of them losing their ID, why should only one pay the price for it?

WonderfulYou · 26/10/2021 22:27

I'd get your daughter to tell her friend asap and then her friend could try going to the bar to reclaim it.

I agree.
If they think it’s a proper fake one they could throw it away.

Her friend should go in and say something like her step sister took it by mistake as they both kept them in the same drawer.

I don’t think it will be very easy to get it back as it isn’t the same as it used to be.
Worst comes to worst your DD will just have to pay for a new one and hope her friend doesn’t need it in the meantime.

DdraigGoch · 26/10/2021 22:28

If this happened to a child of mine, my response would simply be "serves you right" and that the problem is theirs to solve.

Porcupineintherough · 26/10/2021 22:28

@dworky

Can't believe these responses, he has no right to keep it!
Yeah, she should call the police and report him.
Pumpkintopf · 26/10/2021 22:28

Your dd lost the ID as a result of misusing it. She should pay for a replacement. You, op, should make sure your daughter isn't drinking illegally in bars.

HopeYourHighHorseBucks · 26/10/2021 22:29

Seen this loads of time.

Honestly, get the friend to say she doesnt know how her friend got her I.D bla bla they wont believe her obviously but they will give it back and might possibly bar both of them, but the hassle of calling the police or having the police called to the premises over a real but misused I.D is not worth it and even if they did, the police will more likely have a "strong word" with your DD and hope shes learnt her lesson.

WonderfulYou · 26/10/2021 22:29

I think halves is fair. Her friend wouldn't have lost her ID and need to buy a new one if she hasn't agreed for this girl to use it.

I think the DD should pay it all.

If I lent someone a PlayStation game that was an 18 even though they were 17 but they broke it I’d expect them to pay the full amount. Just like if I lent anyone anything. And if I borrowed something I’d borrow it knowing if I break it or lose it then I’ll be paying the full amount back.

RussianSpy101 · 26/10/2021 22:29

Oh ffs! All the pearl clinchers on here who never had a fake ID or know this kind of thing happens. My eyes can’t roll back far enough.
She will not go to prison, OP 🙄 nor will it affect her UCAS application.

Get her to pay the fee for replacing her friends license. It’s about £20.
Job done.

RussianSpy101 · 26/10/2021 22:29

*clutchers

ThatNameAgainItsMrPlow · 26/10/2021 22:30

Agree with pp, you should do nothing, she’s old enough to work out what she’s going to do about the situation. Let dd and her friend fix their own messes.

Subbaxeo · 26/10/2021 22:30

Christ! Did no one on here ever sneak into a pub underage in their youth? It’s what many youngsters do and it hardly makes them out as a moral failure. OP, the friend needs to report it lost and your dd pay the fee. Lesson learnt, she won’t do it again.

Theimpossiblegirl · 26/10/2021 22:34

The judgy crew are out in full force tonight. They're probably still uptight from their boring younger years.

The friend can either call in and say it was taken without permission by a sibling/cousin and hopefully get it back, or order a new one. It's a pain but not the end of the world. It was so much easier to drink under age when I was younger.

Puffalicious · 26/10/2021 22:35

What is Mumsnet like? I'll bet most of you giving the OP a hard time have done something slightly outside the law. I, for one, was clubbing at 16. In those days fake ID was easy to find and many places didn't ask for it (especially if you were with a big brother!). I wasn't out drinking huge amounts, the odd beer and lots and lots of dancing.

I feel for your daughter, OP, as it's only a few months/ weeks and the young folk have been cooped up for far too long.

PP are right- they have no right to take it legally- and friend needs to go in to retrieve it. Also, I'd say she's lost it, sister took it etc.

category12 · 26/10/2021 22:37

DD hurries up and tells her friend what has happened.

Friend goes and asks for her card back.

If no joy, then DD pays for a new one for her friend. The end.

Fashionista1995 · 26/10/2021 22:37

Or her friend goes in and complains her ID was taken off her and she wants it back

Puffalicious · 26/10/2021 22:38

She will not go to prison, OP 🙄 nor will it affect her UCAS application 😆

The judgy crew are out in full force tonight. They're probably still uptight from their boring younger years🤣

I'll go out on a limb: I bought my DS 17 his fake ID. £45 and it's bloody good. I have no qualms at all. So sue me.

NoDecentHandlesLeft · 26/10/2021 22:39

Friend goes in with other ID and says her cousin took it without permission. (or some other plausible relationship).
If not, she reports it lost, and gets a new one and learns a lesson about lending ID.
Your DD should pay for half of it, though. They are equally responsible.

Viviennemary · 26/10/2021 22:41

The ID wasn't lost. It was lent out for fraudulent purposes.

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