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Original poster

Ffs my dd just had friend's license confiscated!

277 replies

1lifeliveitright · 26/10/2021 21:55

17 yr dd (18 next month) went out with a couple of friends tonight. In the 2nd bar she was asked for id and handed over a friend's provisional. The real document but it's not hers. Anyway it was taken off her and the bar man refused to give it back. Even after speaking to his supervisor. Dd left but now has no Id anymore and her friend has lost her actual license. I appreciate they have both committed an offence in doing this but how does she get it back?! I tried to warn her of the dangers of doing this but she's done it several times before and of course she knows best!

OP posts:
HikingforScenery · 27/10/2021 14:15

@Carrotsandbroccoli

I’m a bit surprised at the level of sanctimony on this thread. Yes, fake ID is wrong blah blah blah. But didn’t we all do this?!
I didn’t. Neither did my friendship group because we didn’t drink until after 18. I still don’t drink? How is that sanctimonious, obeying the law?
SpinsForGin · 27/10/2021 14:46

There are some sanctimonious people on here. Did none of you ever have an underage drink or put a foot wrong as a teenager?

Clearly not!! But MN does have a strange attitude to alcohol which isn't at all representative of the people I know in real life.

LittleDandelionClock · 27/10/2021 16:02

@flippertyop

Everyone did this when they were younger. The responses on here! Her feiend just needs to ask for it back. If they won't give it back I suggest your dD pays for a new one. Her friend vertobakt shouldn't pay half - she was doing your daughter a favour
I agree with @STDGisanevilwolefgenius, that is a massive generalisation, so don't judge everyone else. I never used fake I.D. when I was a teenager, and neither did anyone I know.

And as for you and several others incl the OP @1lifeliveitright saying 'Jeeeesus some of the responses' ... people are allowed to have differing views, and ones that you don't like! Personally I agree with the people saying she should go half with the girl the licence belongs to. Personally if I were the barman I would have phoned the police.

The girl just sending for another licence is all well and good, but the OP's daughter did wrong, and so did the girl who lent her the driving licence. Accuse people of pearl clutching by all means, but people have a right to say what the DD did is wrong. As a pp said, it was a crime. And you don't have to have had a BORING youth, just because you didn't break the law @Puffalicious What a narrow-minded and ignorant comment.

As @slashlover it's the companies/stores/establishments who get into trouble because of stupid selfish behaviour like using fake ID, but hey who cares, as long as the kids are having a wild yoof eh? To hell with everyone else. Hmm

sweeneytoddsrazor · 27/10/2021 17:16

Almost every single person irl I know has tried to purchase alcohol in a pub or club underage. And for all those that have never done it and are so judgemental, I hope you have never ever driven at 31 in a 30 zone, never allowed your child to the cinema to see a 12 or 15 when they have been just short of those ages, never let your under 16 year old buy an energy drink.

fournonblondes · 27/10/2021 17:52

Glad is all sorted. I did the same back on the day but in another country. Here people are so OTT.

6demandingchildren · 27/10/2021 18:23

Remember "borrowing" my sister's birth certificate for my friend so we could get into a club, unfortunately the bloke on the door knew her, I quickly snatched it back as my dad would of killed me, this was back in the 80's. I think many people have tried this one and obviously still are, it's all part of growing up.

neededafart · 27/10/2021 18:31

Ah used my friends for over a year. My sister used mine for about 3 once I turned 18.

Your DD gives her mate £20 to replace, they laugh about it, and your DD gets to join them on nights out again in a few weeks.

No real harm done.

Imnothereforthedrama · 27/10/2021 18:48

Well it’s a bit tough she’s not 18 yet and her friend let her use it . Her friend can go and ask for it back but your dd will just have to wait until 18 and yes I know it’s crap we’ve all been there but it’s how it is she’s not old enough. Why are you bothered op? you warned her and she didn’t listen .

Sugarplumfairy65 · 27/10/2021 19:03

@NoDecentHandlesLeft

I'd be interested to know if a club/pub served an underage drinker with an authentic fake ID (eg brought, not a borrowed one) would they still be liable? Seems pretty harsh, when there are fakes out there that are identical to the real thing.
Yes. I had to sack someone once for not sporting a fake ID. If they'd have checked harder they would have seen it didn't belong to the user. We had an agreement with the police to confiscate fake ones and pass them to them every week.
category12 · 27/10/2021 19:30

OP: Worst thing for dd now is she will have to wait a few more weeks until she can legally go. Then obviously avoid that bar. She's pissed off over that but it's tough!
Me: Why would she avoid that bar once she can legally drink? Doubtful the barman will remember her amongst the zillions of other arseholes he meets and once she's legal, if he does remember her, the worst he'll do is bar her.

@Inastatus: category12 - referring to the teenage girl as an arsehole - charming!
There are some sanctimonious people on here. Did none of you ever have an underage drink or put a foot wrong as a teenager?

Meh. From the barman's point of view, she is just another arsehole teenager trying to take the piss, someone could potentially get the venue and him into bother.

If you try to rip the piss, then you are behaving in the manner of an arsehole. Sure, lots of people break rules and laws and try to wangle their way into getting what they want at times - it's doing the wrong thing even if you don't view it as serious, or is something "everybody" does. Sometimes you get caught, and you just take your medicine. I'm not sanctimonious, I reckon the lass should front it out and not avoid that bar for ever more.

ancientgran · 27/10/2021 20:10

@1lifeliveitright

Jesus some of these answers Grin Dd told friend, friend doesn't care. She's already ordered another anyway. She doesn't even want money for a replacement despite dd offering. Friend isn't living in our town at the moment. Bar man has no idea who dd is so she definitely won't go to prison over this.Grin Worst thing for dd now is she will have to wait a few more weeks until she can legally go. Then obviously avoid that bar. She's pissed off over that but it's tough! Most of her friend groups are older so dd is in the minority in them. She does have school friends who are younger but as soon as lockdown lifted she enjoyed going out with both older groups of friends on proper nights out. I don't blame her or mind. As long as she's home safely and not too drunk!
Would you have felt sorry for the barman if he lost his job or the licensee if he lost his job, his business and maybe his home?

People are so selfish.

Carrotsandbroccoli · 27/10/2021 22:01

@HikingforScenery
Well, you’re probably a lot younger than me if no-one you knew used fake ID.

It was illegal then and it’s illegal now 🤷‍♀️ But laws regarding alcohol have turned into something sort of sacred now and everyone goes mad if you talk about the completely normal teenage rite of trying to bypass said laws. It’s tedious.

Puffalicious · 27/10/2021 23:28

This reply has been deleted

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Puffalicious · 27/10/2021 23:44

Inastatus Spinsforgin

Thanks for the support. Apparently I'm an awful mother who will have a alcoholic son and I'll be to blame. All because my son has a few beers a few months before his 18th birthday. Nice judgement there.

I'm teetotal, pretty much have been most of my life, as is my DH, so all my DC have a very healthy example of how alcohol should figure in your life: ie not highly. For all you concerned about my son, he's presently studying hard for his Oxford entrance exam, so not at risk from my terrible parenting or failing in life. Sheesht!

Carrotsandbroccoli · 28/10/2021 06:35

@ancientgran

Would you have felt sorry for the barman if he lost his job or the licensee if he lost his job, his business and maybe his home?People are so selfish.

The thing is, the teenager trying to have a crafty drink didn’t come up with these ridiculously overblown laws about alcohol. It’s not actually their fault that the law puts bartenders and checkout workers in such a precarious position with the thread of absurd sanctions; that would be a lot to put on a 17 year old just trying to sneak a drink. The laws around alcohol have become farcical in my opinion. For a start, how can you reasonably blame a vendor for not checking the ID on someone who ‘looks under 25’ when there is literally no way of quantifying who does and doesn’t ‘look under 25’. That has always struck me as the most stupid bit of all.

WeAllHaveWings · 28/10/2021 07:28

We deferred ds starting school, he is in his last year of school and will be one of the first of his year turning 18 next February (Scotland school cut off). They are not showing any interest in clubbing yet so hopefully wont need fake id, he will be 18 when he starts uni.

Said to him last week I'll be able to take him to the pub for his first drink soon. He has totally ruined it for me by telling me he goes to the pub with everyone on the supporters bus at every away game and always gets served without id 🤣🤣🤣

SpinsForGin · 28/10/2021 07:36

@Puffalicious

Inastatus Spinsforgin

Thanks for the support. Apparently I'm an awful mother who will have a alcoholic son and I'll be to blame. All because my son has a few beers a few months before his 18th birthday. Nice judgement there.

I'm teetotal, pretty much have been most of my life, as is my DH, so all my DC have a very healthy example of how alcohol should figure in your life: ie not highly. For all you concerned about my son, he's presently studying hard for his Oxford entrance exam, so not at risk from my terrible parenting or failing in life. Sheesht!

MN is strange about alcohol. My mum took me to pubs and clubs when I was 16/17.... I'm now a university academic with a PhD and have a perfectly healthy relationship with alcohol.
Puffalicious · 28/10/2021 08:35

Spinsforgins indeed it is very strange. Glad to hear you've turned out a decent human being!

Carrotsandbroccoli I couldn't agree more.

Weallhavewings that is hysterical!Grin

MagicWorkout · 28/10/2021 08:49

My friend's DS was practically brought up in the pub because his dad was a football coach and it was always the pub after training. . It's not what I'd choose for mine, but he knows how to behave around alcohol and he can literally talk to anyone. He's absolutely thriving in sales, in his late 20s and I'm sure a lot of that is down to the "education" he got in the pub.

SpinsForGin · 28/10/2021 09:09

@MagicWorkout

My friend's DS was practically brought up in the pub because his dad was a football coach and it was always the pub after training. . It's not what I'd choose for mine, but he knows how to behave around alcohol and he can literally talk to anyone. He's absolutely thriving in sales, in his late 20s and I'm sure a lot of that is down to the "education" he got in the pub.
We live in a village where it's quite common for families to go to the pub - they're a real hub of the community. We've often commented on how the 'pub kids' are super confident and social as they're used to talking to lots of different people. The downside for the kids though is they'll never be able to get an underage drink around here as all the staff are well aware of their ages! 😂😂
BigFatLiar · 28/10/2021 09:36

Oh shut up, fun sponge. I don't think I'm cool (I'm very far from it). It was a decision we both made sensibly, about a sensible boy who we know inside out. You do you.

That's fine.

The only issue I have with the postings is the idea she was hard done by and the staff were jerks. The staff were doing their job, she got caught, tough.

Lots of youngsters do it, lots of us older folks did it. Lots of people do things that are illegal, take drugs, drive without a licence/insurance etc without comeback. Doesn't make it right.

We live in a village where it's quite common for families to go to the pub - they're a real hub of the community.

Even in towns pubs are changing to be family friendly, either that or they shut. The culture of hard drinking seems to have switched to clubs. OH and dad used to talk about going to the pub and opening the door to a wall of cigarette and pipe smoke, a bar meal was peanuts or a stale pie. Fortunately we've moved on from that (mostly).

SpinsForGin · 28/10/2021 09:42

Even in towns pubs are changing to be family friendly, either that or they shut.

Where we live the pubs were family pubs before that was even a thing!! Many of them still don't do food but at least the smoking has moved outside!

Puffalicious · 28/10/2021 09:47

I'm not a pub goer, but I think the whole community you describe sounds lovely spinsforgin

ColinTheKoala · 28/10/2021 09:50

@sweeneytoddsrazor

Almost every single person irl I know has tried to purchase alcohol in a pub or club underage. And for all those that have never done it and are so judgemental, I hope you have never ever driven at 31 in a 30 zone, never allowed your child to the cinema to see a 12 or 15 when they have been just short of those ages, never let your under 16 year old buy an energy drink.
Yes I bet the pearl clutchers on here have allowed their 14 year olds to play 18 rated games.

Lots of youngsters do it, lots of us older folks did it. Lots of people do things that are illegal, take drugs, drive without a licence/insurance etc without comeback. Doesn't make it right

No it doesn't make it right, but it does make the pearl clutching hypocritical in the extreme.

I also think there's a gulf between using fake ID to get into a nightclub when you're 17 and driving without a licence or insurance! A massive one! You can't compare those things at all.

ColinTheKoala · 28/10/2021 09:52

Would you have felt sorry for the barman if he lost his job or the licensee if he lost his job, his business and maybe his home?People are so selfish

As I said way up this thread, if you accept ID in good faith you will not be (successfully) prosecuted. If an obvious 12 year old shows you ID, that's one thing. But that wasn't the case here.