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Original poster

Ffs my dd just had friend's license confiscated!

277 replies

1lifeliveitright · 26/10/2021 21:55

17 yr dd (18 next month) went out with a couple of friends tonight. In the 2nd bar she was asked for id and handed over a friend's provisional. The real document but it's not hers. Anyway it was taken off her and the bar man refused to give it back. Even after speaking to his supervisor. Dd left but now has no Id anymore and her friend has lost her actual license. I appreciate they have both committed an offence in doing this but how does she get it back?! I tried to warn her of the dangers of doing this but she's done it several times before and of course she knows best!

OP posts:
Pottedpalm · 27/10/2021 08:08

@3luckystars

Ask the friend to call into the bar and say her licence was taken and misused.
How would friend know it had been misused in that bar?
Thehop · 27/10/2021 08:09

She’ll have to pay to replace it I reckon. Can’t imagine friend will be brave enough to go and retrieve it 😂

itsgettingwierd · 27/10/2021 08:10

Her friend can go to the bar and ask if a license was handed in as she lost hers last night.

That's worth a try at the first point.

If not she'll have to report it lost and your dd can pay for a new one.

Although I do think halves is fair as her friend allowed her to fraudulently use it.

WiseWitch · 27/10/2021 08:11

It’s not just the cost of a new provisional license. They’re currently taking months at the DVLA to process and the friend wouldn’t be able to take a test during that time!

No judgment from me on use of fake ID though. My DD is young for her year (summer born). Totally irrelevant but I assume these aren’t your DD’s college friends if she’s about to turn 18? Rare for an autumn birthday to be the only one not 18. ( just being nosy!)

HikingforScenery · 27/10/2021 08:12

@dworky

Can't believe these responses, he has no right to keep it!
No he should’ve called the police to take it instead!
JesterMcFester · 27/10/2021 08:14

Fair play to the bar man - he faces a huge fine and job loss if he had served her.

Cut your losses, DD pays for her friends new provisional and hopefully they've both learnt a lesson.

HikingforScenery · 27/10/2021 08:15

My DD was born in August and hopefully, she won’t want to do anything this stupid when her friends are 18. The law is the law. Breaking it because your friends are older is no excuse.

Cadent · 27/10/2021 08:15

@JesterMcFester

Fair play to the bar man - he faces a huge fine and job loss if he had served her.

Cut your losses, DD pays for her friends new provisional and hopefully they've both learnt a lesson.

Ah, but you’re being sanctimonious to think about him, Jester.
Artie30 · 27/10/2021 08:18

Either friend picks it up. I mean the supervisor may contact your daughters friend anyway to get it back to owner or a replacement can be ordered. The supervisor has no right to the license either and should rightfully get it back to owner.

Back in the 2009-2010 I was in sixth form and we all did this and got away with it! Crazy times 😅

Progress2019 · 27/10/2021 08:18

Go halves? Thats disgusting.

Yogawankonobi · 27/10/2021 08:18

The friend knew she was using it?
What a fool.

Your dd needs to come clean ASAP

cricketmum84 · 27/10/2021 08:19

@Explosivefarts

Agree with others if she need a replacement your DD pays full amount . Any friend would do that
I don't fully agree with this.

DDs friend gave her the ID willingly, she didn't steal it. They are both at fault here.

Topseyt · 27/10/2021 08:19

@BigGreenOlives

Your daughter’s friend just reports it lost and applies for a new one. Your daughter pays any costs.
That is how I would do it too.

Your DD was a fool. She got what she richly deserved. Friend was also a fool for lending her the licence.

They created the situation, they must sort it out.

slashlover · 27/10/2021 08:28

@Carrotsandbroccoli

I’m a bit surprised at the level of sanctimony on this thread. Yes, fake ID is wrong blah blah blah. But didn’t we all do this?!
It's not sanctimony, it's realising that times have changed since we did it. They crack down strongly in selling to an underage person the barman/bar could receive a massive fine if they were caught accepting the ID.
eeyore228 · 27/10/2021 08:32

Look she got caught and now either need to pay for a replacement or let her mate know where to try and collect it. For those saying they all did it when they were young, it's no biggy, if your son or daughter owned the business or worked there and served and got caught you wouldn't be reminiscing about the good old days. You would be rightfully worried for them because the law.comes done heavily on this now. So the guy who confiscated the ID was understandably protecting the business. It's a laugh if you're trying to get a cheeky drink but not so much if someone gets caught.

Spudlet · 27/10/2021 08:38

@WiseWitch The way I see it, the delay and inconvenience is the price the friend pays for being daft enough to let her friend borrow her licence 🤷‍♀️ The dd pays the cash price. And gets rounds in once she has her own, proper id… in a different bar! The dd should perhaps also look at ordering a different form of id for her friend in the interim - can’t you order those cards that people without a passport or driving licence can use? She needs to get onto Google.

ColinTheKoala · 27/10/2021 08:39

@JesterMcFester

Fair play to the bar man - he faces a huge fine and job loss if he had served her.

Cut your losses, DD pays for her friends new provisional and hopefully they've both learnt a lesson.

All he needed to say was he didn't think the licence was genuine and refuse to serve her. it's not up to him to act like a policeman and confiscate the licence - that's not his role at all.

However, as others have said, it's easily resolvable. OP's dd pays for friend to replace licence. And it's worth the friend going in and saying she lost her licence last night and did anyone hand one in (with some other ID - even if she doesn't have a passport does she have a college card).

Hopefully a lesson learnt for both of them. I can't say anything, I borrowed ID when I was 17 but you didn't have photos on licences then so nobody was any wiser. And that was only to get into a venue actually, I drank lemonade once inside, as I didn't like the taste of alcohol!

TicTac80 · 27/10/2021 08:39

Did your daughter manage to contact her friend and explain everything? It could be that the barman was keeping hold of it and was then going to hand to police a bit later on in evening?

Sounds like a right mess (especially if the friend has to do driving lessons/tests). Hope it gets sorted soon.

FWIW, I'm sure loads of people did this sort of thing. I went to pubs with friends from age 17 (I was one of the youngest). I chanced it though and was too scared to get any fake ID, in case my parents found out (this was the 90's). Stupid thing was the first time I got asked for ID, (and didn't have any ID on me!) was A-Level results day (I had just turned 18!).

Looking back, and knowing what I now know (re: bar staff getting into big trouble/getting fined/losing license), I'm really cross with my younger self.

ColinTheKoala · 27/10/2021 08:40

It's not sanctimony, it's realising that times have changed since we did it. They crack down strongly in selling to an underage person the barman/bar could receive a massive fine if they were caught accepting the ID

I think people are aware the laws are strict. So he says "no I'm not accepting that ID - have a cola instead" or something. It's the confiscation of the ID that overstepped the line.

MamaTutu2 · 27/10/2021 08:41

@1lifeliveitright we used to be able to go and collect ours from the police station with another form of id, they were usually fine if it was just the once but i know someone who was prolific and they had a proper chat with her it.

Inastatus · 27/10/2021 08:43

@Puffalicious

She will not go to prison, OP 🙄 nor will it affect her UCAS application 😆

The judgy crew are out in full force tonight. They're probably still uptight from their boring younger years🤣

I'll go out on a limb: I bought my DS 17 his fake ID. £45 and it's bloody good. I have no qualms at all. So sue me.

@Puffalicious - Love this 😅 You are a cooler mum than me, I made my 17 year old DD buy her own! 😂
SofiaMichelle · 27/10/2021 08:44

OP is probably in the USA so not sure how things work there but maybe door staff have to confiscate fraudulently used IDs to prevent them being used again.

diddl · 27/10/2021 08:46

Those who say that the barman is in the wrong to keep it?

Is he just supposed to not serve her & hand back a potentially stolen driving licence?

EmmaGrundyForPM · 27/10/2021 08:46

You, op, should make sure your daughter isn't drinking illegally in bars.

Yeah, because that's really easy to police isn't it? Just like our parents failed to stop us drinking in pubs underage....

Sleepyquest · 27/10/2021 08:46

I lost my driving license once when I was about 20 so I bought a new one. About a year later, the police in a very different city to me contacted me to say they had found it and they then returned it to me by post. They had confiscated it off someone using it as ID!

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