Pretty privilege - do you have it?

[BlueSparklesss]

Certain studies show that being conventionally attractive is linked to more favourable outcomes from a jury, which made me a bit

But I suppose in another way, it's not really that surprising.

I definitely don't have pretty privilege myself (am a bog standard, perfectly normal looking woman - don't hate myself or anything) and don't really think about my looks often.

However, as a teenager I was mortified by how 'ugly' I was, and the world definitely felt more brutal because I was not attractive. It does make me sad that I was so brainwashed by patriarchal norms at such a young age, that it really affected self esteem. And that's with good female role models who always praised the things I was good at.

What are your thoughts? I think it would be interesting to hear if anyone has experienced both sides - of feeling 'pretty' and also feeling dismissed as 'not pretty' at a different time in their life?

Sometimes on MN you read about women who are traffic-stoppingly good looking, people falling over themselves to help etc etc. I find this fascinating! What must that be like?

[PinkPiranha11]

I’m conventionally pretty/ some people have said beautiful (although less so now I’m getting on a bit) - some people (men) used to stop and stare when I was younger. I looked a lot like a famous actress who was v popular in the 90s/2000s so that didn’t help.

Pros - I always got the job (pretty privilege! I always got the man if I managed to conjure up the chat to go with the face (I’m shy, so that was difficult). I never felt worried about how I looked.

The cons - more than you’d think! Women typically hated me and still do, even though I’m always friendly. Men would never approach me at parties and neither did other women. People judged me so much on my outward appearance so I really tried not to do the same in return. People think you’re stupid. I was cripplingly shy as a child and hated compliments, I still hate complaints and don’t know how to take it. People looking at me all the time caused terrible blushing which I only managed to get rid of in my thirties.

I actually prefer things now I’m older and not as conventionally attractive. I also think i give far less of a shit what people think now.

[BruiserWoods]

I think that's true, there's a bad type of man that loves vulnerability. Healthy decent men want somebody resilient and content.