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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was I wrong to touch her child?

446 replies

WhatDoYouDo1234 · 25/10/2021 19:08

At a famous London attraction today with my 4 year old. She was playing on one of the interactive exhibits. There was a long queue behind us. Another little girl about 3 kept running up and putting her hands on what my daughter was doing. Think an interactive drawing, so each time she touched it the screen cleared and my daughter’s drawing was lost. There was no parent anywhere near. First time I said gently “No, it’s not your turn, it’s this girl’s turn, you have to wait.” Or something to that effect. By the fifth or sixth time my daughter was getting increasingly cross, no matter how much I told her to be patient and try again, or how I tried to ask the other little girl to stop, and the kids behind us were getting cross too. I’m trying to prevent my daughter from loosing her cool. So I actually removed the girl’s hands and gently lifted her back saying “It’s not your turn. You have to wait.” A mum then came storming up shouting at me “Not to effing touch my child again!” To which I said something like “Well maybe if you were watching her you could have sorted it.” So my question is not if I was unreasonable, I probably was, but what do you do in that situation? With hindsight I’m thinking I should have called out for someone to come and get their child? But it was all quite quick! What would you do?!

OP posts:
WaterAndRichTea · 25/10/2021 19:46

I would of done the same as you OP

SweetMaryHell · 25/10/2021 19:46

Or you could’ve shouted down the queue to everyone waiting:

“Sorry folks, we’ll be a while as this unattended child keeps deleting my daughters drawing”.

Alwayswantedasmegf · 25/10/2021 19:47

@Sleepyblueocean

I would move my child on to do something else. I wouldn't touch another child for behaviour issues unless my child is at risk and even then I would try to move my own child.
Me too.
itsgettingwierd · 25/10/2021 19:47

@MissMaple82

Yeah I think you were unreasonable, you have no tight to physically touch or pick up someone's child regardless of how annoying the situation was. I'd of gone bat shit too! The best thing to do would to of taken your child away to do something else amd return a bit later when hopefully the child had gone. You were in the wrong 100%
The actual question though is ......

Would you be that parent who did nothing to stop their child deleting another's 5 times?

Queenslotus · 25/10/2021 19:49

[quote WhatDoYouDo1234]@ABCeasyasdohrayme my kid only had to draw five or six times because this other kid kept deleting the screen and loosing her drawing so we couldn't get our print out!!! Why should she loose out or queue again because some other kid has ruined her work?![/quote]
LOSE! It’s LOSE not LOOSE agh! I’m being pedantic but agh!

skodadoda · 25/10/2021 19:49

@SylvanasWindrunner

I honestly think people whose first thought is 'how dare you touch my child' and not 'oh, I'm sorry, I should have been watching her' are so far out of touch with what is acceptable parenting of young children in a public place that you can't reason with them anyway. If your toddler has been repeatedly annoying someone to the point they have to physically move your child away from them, you are failing to look after your child properly. It's as simple is that. It's lazy, bad parenting and you deserve to have someone call you out on it.
Well said, I wish more people took this view
Movingsoon21 · 25/10/2021 19:49

I would also have moved her hand away and then physically blocked her. Think I would also have put on my scary stern voice for this one to tell her to go away. Always makes kids run away!

Fetarabbit · 25/10/2021 19:50

How sad that many things OPs daughter should miss out on her turn to appease a child her parent(s) couldn't be arsed to keep an eye on.

WhatDoYouDo1234 · 25/10/2021 19:50

I will definitely do something like this next time @SweetMaryHell! This would have been much better! Although I doubt the other mum would have been embarrassed, she'd probably still have blamed us!

OP posts:
SchadenfreudePersonified · 25/10/2021 19:50

@PrincessPaws

If people don't want strangers to correct or control their kids then they should do it themselves. I hate people who do zero parenting and expect everyone else, including other young children to put up with their child's poor behaviour.

This, a million times this. Pay attention and correct your own bloody child and someone else won't have to tell off/move your precious poppet when they are being naughty

Absolutely this.

It takes a village to raise a child.

itsgettingwierd · 25/10/2021 19:50

@SweetMaryHell

Or you could’ve shouted down the queue to everyone waiting:

“Sorry folks, we’ll be a while as this unattended child keeps deleting my daughters drawing”.

Oh I like this!

Someone always has the sensible answer slightly into these threads and after the event Grin

Tiramiwho · 25/10/2021 19:51

I think I would have asked the little girl where was her 'mummy' and tell her she needed to go back so her ' mummy, so that she knows you're safe'..
If that was met with a brick wall, I would be shouting loudly down the line, " Does anyone know who's this little girl's mummy is?!!" and explain sweetly but loudly on her arrival what the situation was. She if she kicked off infront of everyone when I am being completely reasonable.

To be honest, since my DC were that age, I had no idea that you are not supposed to touch a child in this sort of circumstance 😔
When did this come about?Confused

WhatDoYouDo1234 · 25/10/2021 19:51

Thanks @Queenslotus. I'm putting my kids to bed writing on my phone in the dark after a long day. That's exactly what I came here for. A spelling lesson. Maybe I should employ you as my auto correct.

OP posts:
Clymene · 25/10/2021 19:52

I would have made her cry and go away the second time she tried to muck up what your daughter was doing. That was your mistake. You were kind and then you cracked.

You don't even need to shout at other kids, hissing at them works well. Poorly parented children in places like that piss me off massively

WhatDoYouDo1234 · 25/10/2021 19:53

I like this response too @Tiramiwho!!! Oh hindsight and how I wish I'd done some of these instead!

OP posts:
AllThingsServeTheBeam · 25/10/2021 19:53

@Sleepyblueocean

"I can’t believe people said you were meant to move your daughter. Why?"

Why look for hassle on a day out. You will never see the mother and child again. Walk away.

No way would I walk away. What is that teaching your child?
ImUninsultable · 25/10/2021 19:53

@Queenslotus

Thank God you said it.

You have loose shoe laces. You dont loose an item.

It is lose. She kept losing her drawing.

WhatDoYouDo1234 · 25/10/2021 19:54

@Clymene I'm choosing to laugh at this! Grin

OP posts:
nitsandwormsdodger · 25/10/2021 19:54

I would have body blocked rather than lay hands On another child

But you are not the child catcher or local pedophile !!
other mum was out of order for her slow and aggressive reaction

Deadringer · 25/10/2021 19:54

I would block the kid if possible but if necessary yes i would touch her, i would take her hand and move her away. Why the fuck are people so precious, especially ones that don't actually mind their child properly.

SickAndTiredAgain · 25/10/2021 19:54

I wouldn’t have lifted her, but might have moved her hands. And given her immediate reaction the mum clearly was watching and not caring at all at her child pushing in the queue and ruining someone else’s fun!
If I’d been the other mother (and I wouldn’t have been watching because if I’d been watching I’d have stopped her), I wouldn’t be bothered by someone moving my daughter’s hands.

ImUninsultable · 25/10/2021 19:55

@Tiramiwho

I'd have asked for mummy or daddy.

ThinkingIsAllowed · 25/10/2021 19:55

YANBU at all, her parent should have been watching her.

WhatDoYouDo1234 · 25/10/2021 19:55

Oh god guys @ImUninsultable! Big picture please! Can't you let one slide for a poor stressed out mum?! Or does that make you feel clever by belittling someone's mistake?

OP posts:
AllThingsServeTheBeam · 25/10/2021 19:56

@AnnaSW1

Don't touch someone else's child
If you control your child you won't have a problem with people touching them