Was I wrong to touch her child?

[WhatDoYouDo1234]

At a famous London attraction today with my 4 year old. She was playing on one of the interactive exhibits. There was a long queue behind us. Another little girl about 3 kept running up and putting her hands on what my daughter was doing. Think an interactive drawing, so each time she touched it the screen cleared and my daughter’s drawing was lost. There was no parent anywhere near. First time I said gently “No, it’s not your turn, it’s this girl’s turn, you have to wait.” Or something to that effect. By the fifth or sixth time my daughter was getting increasingly cross, no matter how much I told her to be patient and try again, or how I tried to ask the other little girl to stop, and the kids behind us were getting cross too. I’m trying to prevent my daughter from loosing her cool. So I actually removed the girl’s hands and gently lifted her back saying “It’s not your turn. You have to wait.” A mum then came storming up shouting at me “Not to effing touch my child again!” To which I said something like “Well maybe if you were watching her you could have sorted it.” So my question is not if I was unreasonable, I probably was, but what do you do in that situation? With hindsight I’m thinking I should have called out for someone to come and get their child? But it was all quite quick! What would you do?!

Agree with eve tone I probably should have stood in the way! Ugh! It was all so quick really, a few minutes. But agree this would have been a better first response!

I wouldn't have picked her up but I can see why you did. What is wrong with people not watching their own kids? We have had to put up with other people's kids pushing in and ruining activities before.

@EishetChayil

Teach your daughter to stand up for herself and shove any little brat away who tries to spoil her fun.

Yes, this is great advice because when someone pushes in the best thing to do is to escalate it to a physical assault.

Queuing matters in society, turn taking matters. You were 100% right not to move your daughter on before her turn was finished / while her turn was being ruined.

You taught her that she did the right thing and she was rewarded by having her turn in completion.

Bullshit to being pushed aside.

[quote WhatDoYouDo1234]@ABCeasyasdohrayme my kid only had to draw five or six times because this other kid kept deleting the screen and loosing her drawing so we couldn't get our print out!!! Why should she loose out or queue again because some other kid has ruined her work?![/quote]
Honestly, I would rather queue again than move someone else's kid like that.

Definitely not saying you're wrong, but I've seen this kind of situation descend into parents brawling more than once (and it coming to blows on one occasion at a parent and toddler of all places) so I wouldn't be keen to do it myself.

Omg manhandle @emptyempire!! I literally just gently moved her hand and lifted her about five inches away!! That sounds terrible!!

I never understand what's so wrong with touching a child in circumstances like this? It's not hitting or harming them, it's no different than using words.

@EishetChayil

Teach your daughter to stand up for herself and shove any little brat away who tries to spoil her fun.

Totally agree with this. The kid will soon learn that being irritating has consequences

Also to those saying queue again, it wouldn't have just been to that interactive thing, we would have had to leave that exhibit and queue again to the whole bit!

I would have stood behind my child and used my arms/hands to shield her so the other child couldn’t get near to her. If she did then approach I would have put my hand out like this ✋ and said “No, it’s not your turn yet”.

I can understand why you got so frustrated though and think you were very patient!

I honestly can’t believe people think you should move on as queue again. Your daughter had already queued and waited her turn, you taught her the right lesson OP.

I think I would have said 'where's your mum and dad' and taken her back to them.

@WhatDoYouDo1234

Omg manhandle *@emptyempire*!! I literally just gently moved her hand and lifted her about five inches away!! That sounds terrible!!

TBF I thought you had just touched her hand - I did not realise you had actually lifted the child up. Picking a person up is manhandling.

Ah the classic. Nowhere to be seen when their child is being an annoying little shit but appears in an instant when someone else has to do what they should have been doing the first place.

YANBU OP. If only she was that attentive a parent when it was actually needed, eh?

Manhandled? Fuck make the op out to be a weirdo why don't you?
Mini tasers need bringing out for such an occasion imo!!.

This is a very interesting thread.

I guess ultimately we all parent the way we deal with things ourselves, so there are multiple right answers?

I don't think you did the wrong thing.

If people don't want strangers to correct or control their kids then they should do it themselves. I hate people who do zero parenting and expect everyone else, including other young children to put up with their child's poor behaviour.

Yeah I think you were unreasonable, you have no tight to physically touch or pick up someone's child regardless of how annoying the situation was. I'd of gone bat shit too! The best thing to do would to of taken your child away to do something else amd return a bit later when hopefully the child had gone. You were in the wrong 100%

God MN is batty.. you did nothing wrong OP at all. There would be no way I'd move my kids on because some twat couldn't keep an eye on theirs.

@WhatDoYouDo1234

Omg manhandle *@emptyempire*!! I literally just gently moved her hand and lifted her about five inches away!! That sounds terrible!!

Well you literally lifted her out of the way. That's pretty forceful when you could have just put your hands out in front of you said a firm 'no'.

Many people can't bear to be touched, never mind by a complete stranger. I can't imagine why you could possibly think it was OK. It wasn't!

It's all well and good "hating other parents not parenting" but that doesn't give you the right to do it for them. Ignore amd walk away!

I always back away from these situs but you're quite right. Why should your daughter miss out.
The other mum was being lazy and selfish and silly cow. Remarkable how she managed to notice you moving her kid but not intervene when her kid was ruining the activity

Next time, I think you should block the child, not pick them up.

@WhatDoYouDo1234

Ok mixed bag! Thought I'd get more flamed!

I'm not saying she was in danger, but I could see my daughter whacking her. Not condoning that behaviour, she's just four and it's an impulse response to someone not taking turns and destroying her work.

Interesting those saying to move my daughter. Firstly there was a queue of other kids, so this girl would have effectively pushed in n front of them. But more importantly, why should I cut my daughter's time short and her not get her print out drawing because someone else was ruining it? We would have had to queue again!

Ugh! Other parents are a minefield!

This

I honestly think people whose first thought is 'how dare you touch my child' and not 'oh, I'm sorry, I should have been watching her' are so far out of touch with what is acceptable parenting of young children in a public place that you can't reason with them anyway. If your toddler has been repeatedly annoying someone to the point they have to physically move your child away from them, you are failing to look after your child properly. It's as simple is that. It's lazy, bad parenting and you deserve to have someone call you out on it.