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AIBU?

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Original poster

Was I wrong to touch her child?

446 replies

WhatDoYouDo1234 · 25/10/2021 19:08

At a famous London attraction today with my 4 year old. She was playing on one of the interactive exhibits. There was a long queue behind us. Another little girl about 3 kept running up and putting her hands on what my daughter was doing. Think an interactive drawing, so each time she touched it the screen cleared and my daughter’s drawing was lost. There was no parent anywhere near. First time I said gently “No, it’s not your turn, it’s this girl’s turn, you have to wait.” Or something to that effect. By the fifth or sixth time my daughter was getting increasingly cross, no matter how much I told her to be patient and try again, or how I tried to ask the other little girl to stop, and the kids behind us were getting cross too. I’m trying to prevent my daughter from loosing her cool. So I actually removed the girl’s hands and gently lifted her back saying “It’s not your turn. You have to wait.” A mum then came storming up shouting at me “Not to effing touch my child again!” To which I said something like “Well maybe if you were watching her you could have sorted it.” So my question is not if I was unreasonable, I probably was, but what do you do in that situation? With hindsight I’m thinking I should have called out for someone to come and get their child? But it was all quite quick! What would you do?!

OP posts:
billy1966 · 25/10/2021 19:39

OP,

You did your best.

Next time in a loud voice call out "whose unattended child is this?, can you supervise her"😁.

She is one of those stupid parents that waits for drama to feign outrage.

The answer to outrage is "supervise your child then".

Flowers
Thesearmsofmine · 25/10/2021 19:39

@MissMaple82

Yeah I think you were unreasonable, you have no tight to physically touch or pick up someone's child regardless of how annoying the situation was. I'd of gone bat shit too! The best thing to do would to of taken your child away to do something else amd return a bit later when hopefully the child had gone. You were in the wrong 100%
So you’d gel ‘bat shot’ with the parent instead of apologising that you weren’t parenting your child? And why should OP’s child have to queue again because someone else isn’t looking after their child?
ShinyHappyPoster · 25/10/2021 19:39

You don't ever touch someone else's child. As much for your own protection as for their's. If you slipped, if the child alleged you had hurt them or touched them inappropriately ... there are lots of reasons why you don't do it.
And for printing out a drawing, I would have either moved my DC away and distracted them with something else.
Or let the smaller child draw quickly, print it and then let DD draw. What I wouldn't do is hog the exhibit and touch another child.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 25/10/2021 19:39

@Sleepyblueocean

I would move my child on to do something else. I wouldn't touch another child for behaviour issues unless my child is at risk and even then I would try to move my own child.
Mve your child?

Bugger that!

I'd have done the same as the OP, while shouting - "Is there anyone with this child or is she lost?"

Thefaceofboe · 25/10/2021 19:39

I would have done the same, you moved her hands, you didn’t hurt her

marykitty · 25/10/2021 19:40

I would have probably shielded the display with my arm instead of touching the kid, but I understand that if it's all happening so fast you sometimes react instinctively.

Also, i am the worst and if the shielding was not working I would have waited for my DS to push the kid away Blush

PrincessPaws · 25/10/2021 19:40

If people don't want strangers to correct or control their kids then they should do it themselves. I hate people who do zero parenting and expect everyone else, including other young children to put up with their child's poor behaviour.

This, a million times this. Pay attention and correct your own bloody child and someone else won't have to tell off/move your precious poppet when they are being naughty

Retrievemysanity · 25/10/2021 19:41

I think I’d have tried to block her while saying loudly ‘whose child is this please?’ and maybe looking for a member of staff to help.

Lollypop701 · 25/10/2021 19:41

The other parent was around, because as soon as you stepped in they were on you. So she was hoping her kids would push in, imo. Yanbu

Thefaceofboe · 25/10/2021 19:42

Oh just read you lifted her back, maybe the parent just saw this and didn’t understand what was happening? It would look strange seeing someone doing that to your child

BewareTheBeardedDragon · 25/10/2021 19:43

@Elisemum

I would have absolutely done what you did. That girl was a brat and since there was no parents in sight you had to act on it. I actually think your reaction was very gentle and you were very patient. I’d lose my shit earlier than you if a spoiled brat was annoying my child who was well behaved
Wow - the kid is 3. This is very harsh.

OP - I don't think there's anything wrong with what you did, though I wouldn't personally have done it. I would have been mortified if another parent had been driven to have to pick up one of mine at that age and would have apologised. The other mother is batshit.

AnnaSW1 · 25/10/2021 19:43

Don't touch someone else's child

itsgettingwierd · 25/10/2021 19:43

@ABCeasyasdohrayme

I wouldn't have done it, but the mother should 100% have been watching.

That said I wouldn't let my kid be drawing 5 or 6 times if there was a long queue of people either. I would have come back later.

Genuine question but why?

If you e queued your time like everyone else why should the child have to queue again because her turn is taking longer because another child won't wait their turn?

OP I wouldn't have moved the child but I don't think you were wrong to. I wouldn't have minded someone doing it to ds if he wouldn't listen. But then again I wouldn't be leaving ds unsupervised to behave in such a way!

Eeiliethya · 25/10/2021 19:44

I'd have probably done an obvious point and asked the queue loudly who this one belongs to and could you shift them for a minute whilst she finishes the picture.

soapboxqueen · 25/10/2021 19:44

I wouldn't have picked them up just due to the reaction of the parents. People allowing their child to run riot are rarely reasonable in such situations.

I would have just physically blocked the child until mine was finished.

My ds would be loudly pointing out the poor behaviour so I wouldn't need to.

AnnaSW1 · 25/10/2021 19:44
  • unless you are saving them from danger
musicviking1 · 25/10/2021 19:44

I wouldn't haven't touched her but I wouldn't have ascertained her her mother was and called over to her. I am quite outspoken so appreciate not everyone would do this.

musicviking1 · 25/10/2021 19:44

would have*

cricketmum84 · 25/10/2021 19:45

My mum tells a great story of when I was 3 and her friend came round with her 3 yo DD.

Apparently she took my rocking horse and wouldn't let me back on it. Friend kept saying "oh come on x please don't be mean."

And then I pulled her off it by her hair and hit her in the face.

Not at all suggesting this is what should have happened lol.

PurpleFlower1983 · 25/10/2021 19:45

I would have blocked the other child but not touched them.

Sleepyblueocean · 25/10/2021 19:45

"I can’t believe people said you were meant to move your daughter. Why?"

Why look for hassle on a day out. You will never see the mother and child again. Walk away.

skodadoda · 25/10/2021 19:45

@MissMaple82

Yeah I think you were unreasonable, you have no tight to physically touch or pick up someone's child regardless of how annoying the situation was. I'd of gone bat shit too! The best thing to do would to of taken your child away to do something else amd return a bit later when hopefully the child had gone. You were in the wrong 100%
Oh, so you were the mum letting your little darling be a nuisance then effing and blinding when someone else has to do the parenting that you are failing to do
Thefartingsofaofdenmarkstreet · 25/10/2021 19:46

Yeah I think you were unreasonable, you have no tight to physically touch or pick up someone's child regardless of how annoying the situation was. I'd of gone bat shit too! The best thing to do would to of taken your child away to do something else amd return a bit later when hopefully the child had gone. You were in the wrong 100%

Surely you would have been too busy apologising for your shit parenting and not supervising your annoying child to have been able to go 'bat shit'?

WaterAndRichTea · 25/10/2021 19:46

I would not have moved my child

You are basically telling your own child to not stick up for themselves

00100001 · 25/10/2021 19:46

I put hands on another child once. My DS was around 2 on a roundabout,a d some little kid about 6or 7 came up, and said "I'm going to push this really fast!"
I said "no there's a little one in there, I'll get him to come off, then you can go fast"
Boy insolently said "no, I'm going to do it and you can't stop me!"
And then he moved to push the roundabout, I moved quicker than him and caught his arm and told him "you will not!" In my sternest voice.... And then he went running off...

Don't worry, he wasn't hurt, just have us sulky looks for a bit!

No FUCKING way was that little treasure going to put my child in deliberate danger.