LMFAO at the white women claiming "woke" means virtue signalling. It's an African American slang derived from the word "awake" - as in enlightened. It's now used as an insult, but how funny being schooled by white folk on what it means!
Am going to go out on a real limb here & say it doesn't sound like the OP has held a paid job throughout her son's life, or at least doesn't now. Otherwise she'd have mentioned this by now - the omission about any paid work leads me to think she hasn't had any & husband makes the $.
If am wrong do apologise, but with the drip feed about household division of chores, it sounds like the traditional gender roles have been clearly defined throughout this relationship - husband is the breadwinner, wife keeps the home & performs domestic duties.
Now I understand some feminists like to argue that feminism is getting to decide what you want in life & being able to make a choice - that if you want to be a career SAHM that can be feminist too. I don't personally agree, but can understand the argument. But are these women still washing a teenage boy's clothes & cooking all the men's meals? Do they encourage more equality within the family unit?
Her son is a teenager, why has she not wanted more for herself now he's older & not gotten out there to work & make her own $? Or at the very least decided not to be the family slave & stopped doing all the domestic duties?
It is really unfair on the son if mum is lecturing him on feminist theory while not actually living a life which is condusive to what she claims to believe now. Has she lived what appears to be a comfortable, easy life at home as SAHM & just expects her son to have developed these beliefs about equality without putting in any practical effort to guide her son & instill these views?
You can't lecture people on the evils of mysogyny & then choose to scuttle off to scrub the mens' undies & make their dinner. It would be more impactful if she stopped doing all domestic duties immediately without discussion or explanation & went out to get a job, or did something dynamic with her life that commands respect.
It would be more impactful for OP to let her guard down & talk about why she is angry at herself for having the life she does, speak of her regrets, how she would have lived life differently - chosen a different life partner, or done things differently throughout son's life....discuss what she has learnt over time etc. Not lecture & rant which just puts people off!
If she is sad that his father has never changed his nappy or cooked him a meal then say that! Speak to him like an adult, like an equal. Confide in him about feelings, rather than lash out verbally in anger because of said feelings.
She is her son's biggest female role model, so speaking from the heart is more likely to help him see her as a whole person, not just "Mum" the dogsbody.
For son to say women get to cop out & have babies is red pill theory, which most young males are being exposed to online. He looks to his mother as his biggest female role model & sees someone who is "kept". Who chooses to be a slave - while she may have had limited than options in life it looks on the outside that this choice was the easier option juggling work & motherhood.
The more you do for people, the less they tend to respect or appreciate you. So son sees mum as having chosen the easy life & opted out of the working world. His dad is the one holding the family together financially. You can't cook, clean & wash without money made at a job to finance those things. He doesn't appreciate what mum does for him because he doesn't have to do these things himself & realise how tedious & mindnumbing the drudgery is. Cooking & cleaning looks easy, less demanding than the career his father has.
Maybe OP was prevented from working by husband? Or husband is controlling with family finances? Then say so! Don't just lecture to the son about how bad men are while continuing to live off them. That's just hypocritical. You will literally push someone in the opposite direction this way with such hypocrisy.
It would be better for OP to approach with insight & reflection, rather than anger - it sounds like she's angry at herself for her life choices. So say that, don't tell the son all men are bad while continuing to be a kept woman, which just alienates him & feeds into red pill theory that women are ungrateful users.
Eg: My mother is a career SAHM, yet expects me to have a high flying career she can boast about & doesn't understand how people can live off less than 60K a year - she is completely out of touch & hypocritical & becomes angry/hostile that her kid grew up to fall short of her expectations. Am getting this same vibe from OP, though could be projecting.