Have I grown a second head without realising?

[Needspace21]

The last few days I have been hanging out alone as ex dp has the dcs over half term.
I've been on country walks, to cafes, to beaches etc., with my dogs. It's been lovely. One issue which has irked me slightly is how some people have really been staring at me. Is it because I'm a shameless 40 something out enjoying myself alone. Is that a crime? One woman in a cafe stared at me the whole time (to the point of ignoring her whole family sitting at the table with her). Another woman looked me up and down with distain when I went in her shop. Another woman scowled at me as I walked down the beach. Have people just got more starey? Do I look odd? What is going on?

[Yogawankonobi]

Sat under the price board?

Maybe she just fancied you.

[StupidPhones]

So yes some people do look, jump to conclusions and ooze nastiness to strangers.🤷

[StupidPhones]

The shop thing is odd.
You'd think they would be at least fake nice to potential customers.

[Kernowfornia]

We haven’t seen a proper newspaper ‘in the wild’ round these parts for years, but an actual broadsheet would lure in the woman who collects for the hedgehog rescue - she’d have been checking on the regular if you were just leaving it after reading, (but she’d have to be quick sticks to intercept it before the surprisingly still sprightly Major who has had to make cutbacks in recent times but loves a bonus freebie ) However the level of interest in other villagers/visitors really close to zero after perfunctory politeness, your canine companions on the other hand would be treated like royalty extra treats, drinkies, known by name. Were you by chance in close proximity to the menu or specials board ? Also some people have plainly lost all social skills during the big lock in.

[Maireas]

It is unusual to see someone sitting reading a broadsheet now. Mostly we're reading them on devices, especially the Guardian, as it's free online. Maybe that's what attracted attention.

[Whatdoihavetodo]

She was probably jealous and thinking wishing she could be sitting on her own, just having time to herself.

I do hate as it is 'such' a crime to go out on your own. I've very socially anxious and put off doing something as I'd be on my own. I really wish I could get over not caring what other people think.

[Maireas]

It's not a crime to go out on your own, @Whatdoihavetodo, and to be honest, most people won't notice you. People are too busy, or caught up with what they're doing, or thinking about other stuff to give you a second thought. Genuinely, take comfort from that!

[WorraLiberty]

@Whatdoihavetodo

She was probably jealous and thinking wishing she could be sitting on her own, just having time to herself.

I do hate as it is 'such' a crime to go out on your own. I've very socially anxious and put off doing something as I'd be on my own. I really wish I could get over not caring what other people think.

And the woman who looked at her with 'disdain' when she entered her shop?

And the woman who scowled at her on the way to the beach?

Bit of a stretch isn't it? I mean rather than pointing out the OP's obvious paranoia, all 3 women were jealous?

[Needspace21]

We haven’t seen a proper newspaper ‘in the wild’ round these parts for years, but an actual broadsheet would lure in the woman who collects for the hedgehog rescue - she’d have been checking on the regular if you were just leaving it after reading, (but she’d have to be quick sticks to intercept it before the surprisingly still sprightly Major who has had to make cutbacks in recent times but loves a bonus freebie ) However the level of interest in other villagers/visitors really close to zero after perfunctory politeness, your canine companions on the other hand would be treated like royalty extra treats, drinkies, known by name. Were you by chance in close proximity to the menu or specials board ? Also some people have plainly lost all social skills during the big lock in.

This post wins

[EssexLioness]

I have a few thoughts on this. I am mid 40s and do lots of things on my own, including the things you mention OP. I have never once encountered this behaviour. I am quite average looking though and could see if you had amazing dress sense, gorgeous hair etc you might get more attention. I adore super curly hair and although I don’t stare, I do notice curly haired ladies a lot, likewise if they have an amazing coat, dress etc on.
I do however spend far too much time looking/ staring at other people’s dogs. I have one of my own but am just smitten by any dog I see. So maybe this was what happened? People staring at your dog, then aware of you looking and make eye contact with you?
Also, I happen to have a resting bitch face and have a habit of staring into the distance deep in thought etc. I am not focused on anything and do try not to stare straight at someone but I have occasionally been aware I am looking towards a person (that I haven’t noticed as I am not focusing) and averted my eyes as I don’t want them to notice and feel self conscious

[notacooldad]

I have a friend who's constantly getting dirty looks off of strangers. Except, she isn't... when I'm out with her I can see her perception is really off, and she thinks people are scowling at her when they're just going about their business
I work with teenagers ( girls) that say this all the time when we are out.
It really does get wearing because seriously no one gave them a second glance. Of course, everyone is jealous of them! ( apparently)

[SiobhanSharpe]

Oh dear. As an inveterate people watcher I hope I don't stare (too much).
I love the evening 'passegiata' in Mediterranean countries, it's lovely to sit in a café drinking something delicious while watching the world go by.
But I suppose the difference there is that some people do go out to be looked at and admired, while others may not care one way or another .
I hope I don't alarm or offend anyone though -- I"ll smile more!

[WorraLiberty]

@SiobhanSharpe, or you could just stop staring.

It's rude.

[RobertsRadio]

@Iwantamarshmallowman

I don't think you are unreasonable. People stare at me all the time, I've never know why. I'm tall and pale with red hair and a 'funny' face.
Sometimes I find myself watching other people becuase I find them interesting. I'd probably look at you were wearing a waist dog lead thing. You sound like you look quite active, maybe people are admiring you. I'd take it as a compliment otherwise it will drive you mad.

I wonder if it's because of your height and red hair, both of which probably make you look quite striking. Also, I must admit I would probably stare a bit at you as I think red hair is so beautiful. My sister in law is tall with lovely long red hair and I do notice people staring or doing a double a double take, but I think because she looks so lovely.

I do loads on my own, meals out, cinema, galleries, museums, and as an older grey-haired woman, no-one gives me a second glance, I'm practically invisible which is nice until I want to get served at a busy bar.

[RobertsRadio]

@Bluesheep8

Are you that Samantha woman?

Haha yes, Samantha Brick, I'd forgotten about her.

[SiobhanSharpe]

@WorraLiberty -- one person's glance is another person's "oi, whachu lookin' at" moment.
Chill.

[WorraLiberty]

[quote SiobhanSharpe]@WorraLiberty -- one person's glance is another person's "oi, whachu lookin' at" moment.
Chill.[/quote]
You said I hope I don't stare (too much)

Glancing wasn't mentioned?

[SpindelWhorl]

Whatever happened to dear Samantha Brick and her formidably moustachioed husband?

[Suja1]

Wait til you're in your 60s. No one will look at you at all because you will have become invisible. Try to find a table by yourself in a restaurant, buy a drink at a bar... no one will see you because you will have become one of the elderly invisibles.

[Thisgroupneverceasestoamazeme]

If I saw someone alone in a cafe reading the paper while I was with my family I’d be staring with envy!

I occasion go to the theatre or on holiday alone I quite often get people staring at me. If/when we get chatting people are surprised that I’m happily married but just enjoy my own company too!

[AnnieSnap]

If someone was excessively staring at me, I would ask “can I help you”? That should deal with it.

[calvados]

Let them look! Smile away and soon you will get smiles back.

[Barnowl25]

Are you my sister? She is obsessed.with people 'looking at her' I am usually too busy doing my own thing to notice if people are looking at me or not

[Kanaloa]

@Needspace21

Middle aged women must always be industrious. In public, one must be exercising, ferrying children or lugging shopping. A woman must not leisure and actually enjoy her life. She should be at home hoovering the dog.

I think you may have hit the nail on the head here!

I don’t think she has ‘hit the nail on the head.’

Do you seriously think four separate women (one of whom was a business owner hoping to sell things to you) glared/scowled/threw dirty looks at you because they thought ‘look at that WOMAN out having LEISURE time!! She should be home serving others and cleaning!’

I mean, for a start, those other women were also all out enjoying themselves and not home ‘hoovering the dog.’ You’re being entirely ridiculous. Absolutely nobody is scowling because they think you should be lugging shopping and doing house chores.

[Tigger1895]

How do you know people are staring? Is it because you keep looking at people?