Have I grown a second head without realising?

[Needspace21]

The last few days I have been hanging out alone as ex dp has the dcs over half term.
I've been on country walks, to cafes, to beaches etc., with my dogs. It's been lovely. One issue which has irked me slightly is how some people have really been staring at me. Is it because I'm a shameless 40 something out enjoying myself alone. Is that a crime? One woman in a cafe stared at me the whole time (to the point of ignoring her whole family sitting at the table with her). Another woman looked me up and down with distain when I went in her shop. Another woman scowled at me as I walked down the beach. Have people just got more starey? Do I look odd? What is going on?

I know what you mean OP.

I'm old and was reminded throughout childhood that it's rude to stare.

I get the impression lots of people don't know that now. And I'm tempted to tell them.

I need to know what you were wearing

I was wearing mountain warehouse trail style trainers, m and s leggings, and a red mountain warehouse jacket. I had a dog lead that you attach around your waist. I had my hair tied back. I'm grey and had it slightly highlighted with davines coral conditioner..
🤔

I think they were jealous of you chilling out having fun by yourself and wishing they were you

First time I braved a London theatre on my own whilst working away I had this couple staring at me the first half

During intermission they came up to me and asked how I got a front row seat that they were desperate for

I explained I’d booked it that day and the empty seat next to me was the photographer who went after taking a few shots

The woman came and sat next to me. I reckon she was going to be booking single seats in the future and leaving hubby at home

Enjoy your me time

@Needspace21 how does the coral come out in your grey? I’ve got the purple one and have eyed the coral - does it look orange-y?

Come on OP. Post a pic of yourself so we can all see two heads how ordinary you look after all.

Without being flippant, do you look like anyone remotely famous? This is not a stealth brag AT ALL, as they’re very ordinary looking, but for the last 15 or so years I get told on a stupidly regular basis that I look just like X, a soap actress who’s been on it for donkeys years. And tbh I do. We’re the same age, we had kids about the same time so have always carried weight the same too. It’s got to the point where I know why people are staring now and I just ignore it, I’m sure they know it’s not really her walking around the local Sainsbury’s. There’s nothing odd about a woman being out on her own. I got the chance to have a morning to myself yesterday and it was bloody amazing.

I have a husband, but quite often just take off by myself to shop or have a coffee. Likewise when dog sitting, I walk the dog alone. I can’t say I’ve ever had stares or been made to feel uncomfortable. Maybe you’re feeling self conscious and overly sensitive about it, so you’re more aware of every look or glance from someone else.

@Mercedes519 I'm very pleased with the coral. I was worried it was going to come out ginger. But it's actually come out like platinum blonde with a hint of warm peach. It's very subtle though.

Not that there's anything wrong with ginger of course.

@Needspace21 ooooh…nowt wrong with ginger of course but wouldn’t suit me. Peach sounds nice, would stop DH tellling me about my blue rinse!

@BringOnTheOtherWorlders

I get this A LOT but enough of the starring lookey-loo people have spoken to me to tell me why they are looking at me, so I know why I get a lot of attention.

It's my hair. I have amazing hair (which I spend a small fortune on to make it look like this). Men and women, young and old - "You have the most amazing hair."

So, maybe it is some feature of yours and maybe it's a compliment.

Can we please see your hair?

@Needspace21

I need to know what you were wearing

I was wearing mountain warehouse trail style trainers, m and s leggings, and a red mountain warehouse jacket. I had a dog lead that you attach around your waist. I had my hair tied back. I'm grey and had it slightly highlighted with davines coral conditioner..
🤔

I have a dog lead that attaches to my waist and get endless, endless comments about it. All of rule cheerful and well meant so I’m cheerful back but my god there is nothing in my life that draws such attention to me as a non descript 40 something year old woman.

I'm 43 and spend the majority of my time out and about alone (no kids, single, cat) and have never experienced this. From the other side, worked in retail for 25 years and have never cared whether a customer is alone, with kids, or in a group, unless they are allowing their kids to run riot.

I just looked up that conditioner and it looks pink to me, I think it looks lovely but maybe that would be the reason?

I don't think you are unreasonable. People stare at me all the time, I've never know why. I'm tall and pale with red hair and a 'funny' face.
Sometimes I find myself watching other people becuase I find them interesting. I'd probably look at you were wearing a waist dog lead thing. You sound like you look quite active, maybe people are admiring you. I'd take it as a compliment otherwise it will drive you mad.

I feel sorry for the woman in the cafe. If she was staring at you the whole time and ignoring her family. She might want to be you, to escape and be a single woman in a cafe relaxing and having time to herself.

I always think people are staring at me too!

I suspect the other women were maybe jealous?

Are the dogs super cute? Because I will often stare at cute animals. Can't help it.

But if the owner looks then I'll smile and try and make it obvious it's because of the fact their dog is adorable.

Wo.an in coffee shop: The TV was just behind you? Or the window facing the street and she was expecting someone ro join them?
Rest: just looked at you?

Do you wear tshirts with slogans?
Dress in a different way?
Wear hats? (I will have a look to those, for example. I am not being nasty, just that I am curious, and I want to have a good look)
Other thing that may catch my eye is if people are looking sad, lonely, self concious, lost...

There's a lady locally who is my double. She stood for election. So for weeks, it would be 'smile and wave, smile and wave', because I like her, and didn't want to grouch at people and lose her votes!

It's because she knows you are the main character 😉

I know exactly what you mean, I experience this sometimes but only when I'm alone rather than with my partner or friends. I sometimes get home and ask my husband if there's something on my face. I normally come to the conclusion that I must be head turningly attractive

Take a book with you.

Maybe you’re the female Truman Burbank 😂

@OldGreyBoots

Is it possible they'd be staring at your dogs? It's what I'd be doing

Me too, I even smile at dogs 😂