Have I grown a second head without realising?

[Needspace21]

The last few days I have been hanging out alone as ex dp has the dcs over half term.
I've been on country walks, to cafes, to beaches etc., with my dogs. It's been lovely. One issue which has irked me slightly is how some people have really been staring at me. Is it because I'm a shameless 40 something out enjoying myself alone. Is that a crime? One woman in a cafe stared at me the whole time (to the point of ignoring her whole family sitting at the table with her). Another woman looked me up and down with distain when I went in her shop. Another woman scowled at me as I walked down the beach. Have people just got more starey? Do I look odd? What is going on?

@Soundslike I can't see @NearLifeExperience had been angry? She's just calling you out on spouting nonsense!

I'm not remotely angry @Soundslike

I've always been stared out when out and about, OP. I look vaguely like a few people on telly, (not the stunning ones: more the 'interesting' ones), so I think that's why.

When I have asked people, (always politely), they tend to be trying to work out whether they know me or not.

Maybe they don’t like the dogs being around their food?

Do lots of people bring dogs into that cafe?

Are the dogs large breeds/intimidating looking?

NearLife, yes starting a sentence with bollocks is not angry at all. Offmy, calling other posters nonsense is most tolerant. Doth they protest too much?

You're projecting. If you're not used to being on your own, perhaps you're feeling self conscious.
Women go out on their own every day, it's not an unusual thing.

Middle aged women must always be industrious. In public, one must be exercising, ferrying children or lugging shopping. A woman must not leisure and actually enjoy her life. She should be at home hoovering the dog.

I think you may have hit the nail on the head here!

Yes I definitely had trousers on 😂

Having spent decades going to cafes, restaurants, gigs, cinemas, pubs, theatres and on holiday alone I can honestly say I have never noticed anyone staring at me! I must have been invisible since I was 14!!

The only thing that bothers me about doing these activities alone is the 'aren't you brave' comment and stupid nonsense like that!
( and my mother saying things like ' you can't do that, people will think you've got no friends!)

OP, in the café were you sitting under the specials board? I hate it when places have specials on a chalk board stuck up on a wall somewhere - whoever sits next to it has randoms staring in their direction while they decide whether to have the soup or the lasagne...

NearLife, yes starting a sentence with bollocks is not angry at all

I didn't. I said "That's bollocks though". No anger.

Substitute bollocks with rubbish or nonsense if you prefer, it's all the same.

Yes happens all the time. I used to think it was because I'm gorgeous. Now realised I've reached just reached the invisible age, and they're actually looking through me.

I don't understand why you've jumped to the conclusion that you're being stared at because you're alone though. Of all the possibilities that seems the most likely ?
I'm often alone out and about and lots of other people are too .
It just such a weird conclusion to come to .

Needspace, yes. If we actually observe the lone woman, how many are sitting completely at ease in a restaurant or walking barefoot in the sand, smiling at the sun?...

Are you that Samantha woman?

This isn't a feminist issue bloody hell . And no I don't think everyone is staring at you I think you are imagining it because paranoia? I used to go out alone all the time, to restaurants, on holiday to the cinema, no one ever stared at me and this was across the UK and Europe. Yet I know a couple of people who went to the cinema alone one time and proceeded to tell me how everyone was staring at them and judging them.

Don't worry, OP. If you're in your 40s it's not that long before you become completely invisible. Which is another interesting experience.

Although many women take the mental load with families and and often the busiest people, it's not unusual to see women relaxing on their own, going for walks, shopping, having coffee, at least where I am. No-one would consider it odd enough to stare.
Where do you live?

Perhaps they are thinking how nice you look lol.

Middle aged women must always be industrious. In public, one must be exercising, ferrying children or lugging shopping. A woman must not leisure and actually enjoy her life. She should be at home hoovering the dog.

OP, have you perhaps accidentally relocated to Gilead?

@Soundslike

NearLife, yes starting a sentence with bollocks is not angry at all. Offmy, calling other posters nonsense is most tolerant. Doth they protest too much?

Nope, i doth not protest too much at all.

You're talking nonsense.... HTH.

@AdultHumanChicken

Middle aged women must always be industrious. In public, one must be exercising, ferrying children or lugging shopping. A woman must not leisure and actually enjoy her life. She should be at home hoovering the dog.

OP, have you perhaps accidentally relocated to Gilead?

[quote Needspace21]@CocaColaTruck1 possibly but didn't realise how starey people can be. Everytime I looked up from my guardian newspaper in the cafe the woman was glaring at me. I didnt know where to look![/quote]
They were probably amazed at seeing anyone reading The Guardian

I have a friend who's constantly getting dirty looks off of strangers. Except, she isn't... when I'm out with her I can see her perception is really off, and she thinks people are scowling at her when they're just going about their business.

I think you were feeling self-conscious at being out alone and so thought people were staring at you.

My friend and I sometimes meet up on her day off for a walk. A guy out working we said hello to as we passed did give us a real sneer and said it must be great to not have to work.
Whatever.