Husband taking £400 spending money for 2 nights in Liverpool..aibu to think it's ridiculous?

[rachybarrr]

He has gone to Liverpool till Monday.
The hotel is paid for and includes breakfast.
He has taken £400 spending money.

He said "the bars are quite expensive down there"

So basically he is happy to potentially waste £400 on alcohol for two nights.

I'm annoyed and think it's pathetic
He said we are going for a nice meal tonight too.

£400 for two nights is just scandalous I think

Sunseeker90
There has been lots of activity on this thread but just to add me and dh went to liverpool for 2 nights in the summer, breakfast was included in hotel but we still spend around 1k on food and drink alone!!! No drugs i assure you!

One k - one thousand pounds - on food and drink for two people for two nights excluding breakfast????? You're having a laugh! Or showing off, I'm not sure which!

@SuperstoreFan did you not read her post about her getting shit from him over buying herself a coat? And the fact that they have £200 spends each per month , yet the £400 for his trip came from their joint savings without any discussion about whether that was reasonable?

It sounds a lot to me!

@rachybarrr

Really ? God I couldn't imagine spending that much on drinks. He only drinks pints and JD How many is he planning on drinking

Depends if he’s only paying for his own drinks or going in rounds.

Good grief, 'are you frightened if him'. There are so many would-be counsellors on this site, leaping to the most extreme conclusions.
They sound like very different people with very different spending habits. One likes to do things, the other by her own admission doesn't. That doesn't make him 'entitled'. No mount of tit-for-tat spending is going to change what sounds like a fundamental incompatibility. It actually sounds like a rather miserable relationship.

Did he have to pay for the hotel too?

The only bit of this I’d be pissed off at is him having an issue with you spending 50 quid on clothes. So you sound like you spend very little on yourself but he has a pretty good independent social life so spends a lot solely on himself. I’d tally this up and make a new arrangement that gives you your own fair share of spending/saving/to do what you fucking like with fund

@midsomermurderess I stand by my post.

Reading between the lines there could be abuse in this relationship.

If I'm wrong then I'm glad. But these are important questions to answer.

I must be really tight but if my DH was to spank that on a 2 day bender (and let's be honest it will be on booze not fine dining) in the lead up to christmas I'd be fuming. It could cover all the pressies - I'm with you OP it's ridic.

Lap dancing, casino, Coke….

It is a lot but for 2 nights away not massive.

As other have already said, a lunch today at Weatherspoons will, with drinks likely be £30-£40 each. A steak dinner at £60 will easily become £100 with drinks and tip. Add in taxis, kitty for tonight and tomorrow night, food for tomorrow, I’d say you could easily spend £350 in a city centre environment/plus etc.

I'm in liverpool and the bars aren't that expensive. I couldn't spend £400 in 2 days even with food and drinks.

Perhaps he is planning on buying you a lovely gift

@ShaneTheThird we must drink in different places. You can spend £100 on drinks and food in one bar alone. The Alchemist, be at one etc
Then if he’s ending the night in level or heebie Jeevies he will pay have pay to get in.

He is there for 2 nights!
So that’s breakfast, dinner & maybe evening meal / street food plus drinks all day for 2 days.

Tbh I don’t know how he’s done it so cheap.

Certainly nothing left for coke and a dance like some PPs who either haven’t been out since the 90s or drink in Weatherspoons seem to think.

I went out last night (SE) with 2 friends, of which I paid twice.
Round one was 2 and half pints £13.45.
Round two was a pint, a bottled non alcoholic beer and some nuts £9.85 ( other friend bought their own).

So £23, on a very tame couple of hours with less than two basic drinks each.

@LaBellina

Perhaps he is planning on buying you a lovely gift

I envy you your optimism! I think the chances of this are incredibly low, though, don't you?

For an example, DH and I spent over £130 in a restaurant last month and another £100 in bars. We were home for 11ish. That was one night.

Not all food and drinks for 2 days and no nightclubs.

@Doubledoorsontogarden

Lap dancing, casino, Coke….

Yep. If it was a wedding do/stag etc I'd understand. But there is no reason to this, just get together than can be done at anyone's home. They've got a LOT more planned than just booze. Stripper club and coke is my guess. 400 is way over the top even for very heavy drinkers. And I bet that 400 is just for cash on hand as well, ie he'll use debit card for other things on top of cash.

I don't think £400 for a weekend away is unreasonable. My issue would be that the £400 to fund his weekend is coming out of family savings, rather than his own spending money.
I second/third suggestions that you open your own savings account & each time he takes money from the family savings for his own use, you take the same amount & put into your own account. He cannot have an issue with you taking exactly the same amount out as he does.
If he creates over you taking the same money as he does, you have a bigger problem.
And he has no right to go on about a reasonably priced coat you bought out of your own money!

@ShaneTheThird

I'm in liverpool and the bars aren't that expensive. I couldn't spend £400 in 2 days even with food and drinks.

I was thinking that! I'm in Liverpool, too. It depends how much/what he's drinking I suppose but I eat out there a lot and rarely spend more than £30 on food in a restaurant.

I don't think £400 is that unreasonable. They may well be doing various activities during the day as well.
Regarding the jacket was he moaning because you had spent the money or was he happy for you to spend the money but thought (in his opinion) that the jacket was a waste of the money. If he is happy that you can spend the same amount of money if you want then fair enough for you to both think the other is spending it on something they consider stupid.

Perhaps he’s a rare exception @HollowTalk

We've just spent 24 hours in Liverpool: one dinner, one breakfast, snacks and drinks. We've probably spent £150 for 2 of us.

Pre covid I did a lot of short breaks and depending on destination wouldn't see that as excessive spending money (although my money would usual go on sigh-seeing related rather than alcohol) and would prefer to over budget than not have enough.

However, his attitude to your jacket stinks and him using your joint savings for his social life when you don't doesn't sound right either. I'd be reviewing that arrangement.

[quote RussianSpy101]@ShaneTheThird we must drink in different places. You can spend £100 on drinks and food in one bar alone. The Alchemist, be at one etc
Then if he’s ending the night in level or heebie Jeevies he will pay have pay to get in.

He is there for 2 nights!
So that’s breakfast, dinner & maybe evening meal / street food plus drinks all day for 2 days.

Tbh I don’t know how he’s done it so cheap.

Certainly nothing left for coke and a dance like some PPs who either haven’t been out since the 90s or drink in Weatherspoons seem to think.[/quote]
Depends how much you choose to spend money though. I can bar hop all over Matthew street, concert square and eat at the docks and still not spend £400 in 2 days for one person especially as his hotel and breakfast are covered and he won't need taxis when he is in the city center unless he is planning to do football or take a trip to menlove which op hasn't mentioned.