Husband taking £400 spending money for 2 nights in Liverpool..aibu to think it's ridiculous?

[rachybarrr]

He has gone to Liverpool till Monday.
The hotel is paid for and includes breakfast.
He has taken £400 spending money.

He said "the bars are quite expensive down there"

So basically he is happy to potentially waste £400 on alcohol for two nights.

I'm annoyed and think it's pathetic
He said we are going for a nice meal tonight too.

£400 for two nights is just scandalous I think

I spent less than that for 4 days in Lisbon. But it's not completely unreasonable.

I'd be off to book a spa break and shop in Zara until the total came to £400.00 exactly. But I'm petty like that.

For food and drinks, it's not a lot.

@Nidan2Sandan

Sounds about right to me. We just had a weekend away, 2 nights and spent £350.

Was that two of you?

@HollowTalk yes, but breakfast was already paid for and all but one meal we had at families homes so the £350 was just for 2 nights out costs.

Fuel was another £200 as we went WAAAAY north

*I spent less than that for 4 days in Lisbon. Me too, also spent less for a week in Albania and also a week in Romania including accommodation but that's like comparing apples and oranges.
I think £400 is a good amount and hopefully a good buffer for anything unexpected. He doesn't have to spend it all. View it as a limit to spend rather than a target.

It sounds like loads to me but clearly I'm in the minority 😂 I guess it depends where they're eating and drinking.

I'd definitely be taking £400 out of the savings for yourself (and any other time he takes money out for fun) seeing as it seems like he's often doing it. If it was a one off that'd be different, but with it being a regular occurance then something needs to change or you'll forever be resentful.

actually its not him spending £400 is it? its £400 on top of the hotel (assuming not crashing on a mates floor)

Its really not about how much a weekend away would be - its about one can spend what they like and the other can not. it should be equal.

I would take similar to be honest.

If you booked a hotel for a weekend and then took £400 cash, what would he say?

If you spent £400 on clothes, which last longer than a drink, what would he say?

That's what matters. Is it equal? Can you di that without being told off or bullied?

We both probably put £500 in
I pay the rent from my wages
He pays the rest of the bills including his car payment /insurance /gas electric
Then half each wages for food and rest goes into savings

and this is exactly why we have separate finances. My husband recently bought something exceptionally expensive and extravagant - out of his own money. I might have raised an eyebrow but ultimately it's nothing to do with me.

Does your husband pay a lot more into your joint savings? If you pay 50/50 then yes I think he's being bloody cheeky.

As for him spending way more on 'fun stuff' than you, well it's clearly become a pattern hasn't it? He feels more entitled. Why is this?

I dont think the question is if thats a lot of money for a weekend away. I think the question is if it's fair that you get a load of shit for spending under 15% of that amount, and then he just takes out 8x what you spent without checking with you. He obviously sees himself as more entitled to your joint money than you are, and that is a problem.
I think you need to keep some back in your personal accounts for your own personal spending and then lock joint account savings somewhere and agree that both of you need to agree if you take anything out of the savings account

@KitchenKrisis

Yes it's alot what else is he buying? Female company? Drugs?

Calm down 😂

You might think about setting up a savings account just in your name for YOUR savings, because right now it sounds like you are subsidising his fun....

I can't imagine ever spending that much, but then I see spending money on alcohol pretty wasteful.

[quote gogohm]@rachybarrr I thought Liverpool was cheap for a night out but I live down south (not London) cocktails were £8 each and beer was circa £4.50 in the city centre, wine was quite cheap at £7 a glass[/quote]
That's insanely expensive to me

Cocktails here are £6-7 each.
Beer is £3.50 ish a pint, slightly less for a bottle.
A glass of wine is maybe £4.50.

And that's at the most expensive bar in town. A pub would be cheaper again.

I guess it really is area dependent. Living in the middle of nowhere definitely has its' advantages when it comes to the cost of things, lol.

@icedcoffees where is this?? I paid £6.50 for a pint this week 😒

Sounds unremarkable to me.

I’d take £400 out of joint savings and spend some on things wanted and put the rest in my own personal savings account.

Then every time he dips into the joint savings account, I would take the same and put it in my savings. What’s good enough for him is good enough for me.

Also check that what you pay in rent is equivalent to what he pays in bills.

Sounds fine to me and about what I’d take for a weekend away. Why are you begrudging him going and having a nice time? Go out yourself?

So he's out spending your joint savings on an expensive piss up while you are at home looking after your joint kids. Also , you get crap from him if you buy yourself a perfectly reasonably priced coat?

Please listen to pps about the imbalance you're experiencing. He's taking the piss. I hope you have your own savings account as well as the joint one.

Don't play silly games like a spa day to make up for his spends. Just fix it by either keeping your savings separate or possibly leaving him.

[quote JorisBonson]@icedcoffees where is this?? I paid £6.50 for a pint this week 😒[/quote]
I'm on the Cumbrian coast :)

The prices in the National Park are almost double what I pay, lol.

GET YOUR OWN SAVINGS ACCOUNT

It seems a bit too much and my first thought was coke.

Aside from that, I wonder if your financial split is fair? Maybe write it all down and weigh it up properly. Unless your rent is very low you seem to be getting the fuzzy end of this deal.