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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband taking £400 spending money for 2 nights in Liverpool..aibu to think it's ridiculous?

471 replies

rachybarrr · 23/10/2021 11:28

He has gone to Liverpool till Monday.
The hotel is paid for and includes breakfast.
He has taken £400 spending money.

He said "the bars are quite expensive down there"

So basically he is happy to potentially waste £400 on alcohol for two nights.

I'm annoyed and think it's pathetic
He said we are going for a nice meal tonight too.

£400 for two nights is just scandalous I think

OP posts:
caringcarer · 23/10/2021 17:37

It sounds a lot but if he is going to the football that s
alone would be very expensive to get in. Add in a couple of lunches and dinners out and drinking. It all adds up. Maybe he will bring you back a pressie.

Drumshambo · 23/10/2021 17:40

So just over £600 on a weekend away, and he's complaining about you spending a fraction of that on a coat! I really wouldn't be putting up with that tbh.I'd be withdrawing £400 and putting it in to my personal account.

XiCi · 23/10/2021 17:47

@ShaneTheThird

Confused I'm in liverpool and the bars aren't that expensive. I couldn't spend £400 in 2 days even with food and drinks.
They are in the city centre. I met a friend there a few weeks ago. Meal in Bar and Grill and drinks in a few bars after, £150. Drinks were £10 single G&T, Cocktails £12-15. So throw in lunches and lunchtime drinks, entrance fees, taxi etc £400 is very easy to do.

The issue seems to be that the OPs DH is having all the fun on their joint savings whilst OP can't even buy a cheap coat without him banging on about it. He sounds a dick and if I was OP Id revert to my own account. I've been married 20 years and never had a joint account and this thread reminds me why. So easy just to pay your bills, save an agreed amount then spend the rest on whatever the fuck you want without someone nagging you about it

entropynow · 23/10/2021 17:47

Looking at some of the answers here, no wonder personal debt is so high. It's an extraordinary amount of spending money for two days, and yes I could afford it. I just wouldn't.

Drumshambo · 23/10/2021 17:56

On a related note, I went to Liverpool with my dd last year for two nights. It was my treat. Premier inn was £90, transport was £80ish. I spent another £170 or so on diner cocktails and drinks, and probably another £40 on coffee/snacks and two ubers, so just under £400 for both of us. We ate/had cocktails in mid range places,- think slug and lettuce, and Turtle bay. We did have a fancy Thai meal one of the nights though.
I love Liverpool.

RussianSpy101 · 23/10/2021 18:06

@rachybarrr so he’s actually spent £98 each day on all his food and drinks.
Talk about a drip feed.

Original poster
rachybarrr · 23/10/2021 18:08

@RussianSpy101 what? The hotel and petrol isn't included in the £400

OP posts:
sassbott · 23/10/2021 18:08

@entropynow that’s a bit of a judgemental statement.

I personally now hardly buy ‘things’ but prioritise events that make memories. If I chose to spend £400 on a weekend away, it would be from money I had saved to do so. It’s not pushing me into any level of personal debt.

I appreciate that that makes me fortunate to be able to save that amount and have that choice. But not everyone goes into debt to do so.

StTherese · 23/10/2021 18:13

From Liverpool originally - most of my family are still there.

It’s cheap to eat and drink there compared to a lot of places like Edinburgh, London etc. Yes there are some more expensive places there but particularly Mathew St etc are cheap - aimed at stag & hen parties, tourists etc. As a pp has said, it’s not Vegas / NYC.

(IMO, whilst the city centre has some nice parts, step outside it into Kensington, Norris Green, Walton etc to see the real Liverpool. Actually, don’t 😁)

RussianSpy101 · 23/10/2021 18:24

@rachybarrr can you genuinely not fathom spending £100 a day on food and drinks? Really?
I’m baffled.

RussianSpy101 · 23/10/2021 18:25

@entropynow how do you work that one out?

If you’re in debt you aren’t going on holidays and days out, surely?!

XiCi · 23/10/2021 18:29

@StTherese

From Liverpool originally - most of my family are still there.

It’s cheap to eat and drink there compared to a lot of places like Edinburgh, London etc. Yes there are some more expensive places there but particularly Mathew St etc are cheap - aimed at stag & hen parties, tourists etc. As a pp has said, it’s not Vegas / NYC.

(IMO, whilst the city centre has some nice parts, step outside it into Kensington, Norris Green, Walton etc to see the real Liverpool. Actually, don’t 😁)

Every city has places that cater to lower budgets especially when you know where to look. I've lived in Edinburgh and London and they are the same. No-ONE I know though would go for a meal in some shitty burger joint and drink in some shit pub with a load of stags and hens just for a cheap night out. There are some really lovely places to eat and drink in Liverpool but they cost money. Same as London and Edinburgh and every other city in the UK. As for the go to Norris Green nonsense (as if any tourist would), every city without exception has shit parts that tourists would never want to find themselves. I've lived and travelled all over the world and this is true without exception
AuntieMarys · 23/10/2021 18:40

We have a night in Liverpool next week and will probably spend £250 on dinner, drinks, lunch. Hotel is about £120 .

XiCi · 23/10/2021 18:54

As a pp has said, it’s not Vegas / NYC
Erm yes, because it's a city in the UK. There is nowhere in the UK, or Europe for that matter, like NYC or Vegas so really fucking stupid comparison.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 23/10/2021 19:01

Thing is for most people, going out in their own city is a lot cheaper than being a tourist in their city. I live in a city not unsimilar in size to Liverpool and whilst I wouldn't spend that amount in a weekend in my own city I probably would in another city.

Stickyblue1987 · 23/10/2021 19:14

I'd easily spend £100 on a night out.
£25 taxis
£35 nice dinner
£45 on drinks- probably get me 5/6 nice cocktails.
If we went on to a club then it might be £10 on the door then more drinks, so easily another £30.

If I were away on a weekend away I would probably budget for a touristy thing too. Plus there's lunch to get.

I think the issue is he's spending more than you and as you share finances I think this is an issue. Dh and I have separate accounts (we earn roughly the same)- I wouldn't want anybody monitoring my spending and neither would he.

washerdrier · 23/10/2021 20:13

Saying you can find cheap places to eat and drink etc, is missing the point. They're going as a group. If they're all good earners then none of them will want to be dragged around the cheapest parts of town in order to keep OP's husbands budget down especially when by OP's own admission they can afford it. A weekend away is a decadence, they're not 18 (one assumes anyway!)

eightlivesdown · 23/10/2021 20:14

The savings account isn't really a savings account if he is spending it on weekends away. And it isn't really a joint account if he can spend £400 for a weekend away and you get grief for spending £50 on a jacket. He also sounds like a spender and you a saver ... except he spends a lot and objects to you spending a little, which is at best selfish.

As the spending money is clearly insufficient for your DH, reduce the amount you each contribute to the savings account. DH can fund his away days from the extra spending money, and you can do likewise. Or as you spend less, put your unspent money in a separate savings account, or better still a pension.

The reduced money that goes into the savings account should be genuine savings, not a days out fund for DH. After it's grown to a certain size - 6 months / 1 year disposable income or whatever amount you feel comfortable with as a safety buffer, the rest could go into an ISA / pension. Or be saved for as deposit for a house as you're renting - and if you are saving for a house deposit, I'd prioritise this over DH having weekends away.

washerdrier · 23/10/2021 20:16

I've got a couple of mates who I'd expect to end up in Wetherspoons with spending £3 a drink and a packet of chips on the way home. I also have a group of mates who'd want to go to fancy bars and drop £50 a bottle or £15 a cocktail. This guy and his mates have obviously discussed what kind of weekend it'll be and they're not scrimping.

maybellajo · 23/10/2021 20:22

I think it's an insane amount of money if the hotel is paid for already! I'd have budgeted half of that.

Dogscanteatonions · 23/10/2021 20:37

Regardless of what he drinks he might be involved in buying rounds which does work out very expensive. Doesn't sound crazy to be, I'd be thinking more 100/150 a day myself but 400 total isn't bonkers

FinallyHere · 23/10/2021 22:06

another adult to authorise your spending

@RJnomore1

I get your point but I'm not sure how it can be fair, it appears from subsequent updates that OP considers it savings while "he" dips into it regularly for extravagant weekends away.

YourFinestPantaloons · 23/10/2021 22:07

@KitchenKrisis

Yes it's alot what else is he buying? Female company? Drugs?
FGS there's always one.

Liverpool is expensive. He will burn through that £400 on food and beer

bumsnett · 24/10/2021 08:07

@rachybarrr

We live in a small town and drinks here are about £5 for a vodka and coke. So I think that's why £400 seemed a lot.

I think they are drinking in some square or place near the Beatles bar (no clue names )

It's called concert square/matthew street. He wont need that much spending money. I'd have said £250 more reasonable. It may well be he doesnt spend it all...
MrsKeats · 24/10/2021 12:29

Omg Liverpool is not expensive.
I'm from there. I've never spent that on a few nights out.
What's with the 'taking' money anyway? Cash?
Don't people just use their cards?

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