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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband taking £400 spending money for 2 nights in Liverpool..aibu to think it's ridiculous?

471 replies

rachybarrr · 23/10/2021 11:28

He has gone to Liverpool till Monday.
The hotel is paid for and includes breakfast.
He has taken £400 spending money.

He said "the bars are quite expensive down there"

So basically he is happy to potentially waste £400 on alcohol for two nights.

I'm annoyed and think it's pathetic
He said we are going for a nice meal tonight too.

£400 for two nights is just scandalous I think

OP posts:
MrsWhites · 23/10/2021 15:36

Only mumsnet - man takes £400 for a weekend away - he must be after ‘female company’!

To be fair, I’m from Liverpool and wouldn’t spend £400 on two days and nights out but could easily spend £250-£300 depending on which restaurants you choose/how much you drink.

I wouldn’t necessarily be pissed off that he’s taken £400 but would be when you add in the fact that he was annoyed at you for buying a £50 jacket. It’s double standards and that’s not acceptable.

Sunseeker90 · 23/10/2021 15:47

Well everyone is different....if everyone earned the same and had the same disposable income we would live in a very different society. I cant imagine spending 1k on a holiday FOR 2!! Including all food and fuel!

The bottom line is whats affordable and fair, if the couple can afford for him to spend £400 fine, do both parties have equal access to disposable incomr to treat thekselves- fine. If its putting you in debt or one sided then not fine.

rainbowdashsneeze · 23/10/2021 15:47

Throw some cocaine into the mix and that won't be enough 🤣

TheChosenTwo · 23/10/2021 15:48

But the amount you’d need to spend on eating would be drastically reduced @rainbowdashsneeze Grin

rainbowdashsneeze · 23/10/2021 15:52

TheChosenTwo 😂 yup no greasy kebab at the end of the night!

icedcoffees · 23/10/2021 15:57

@Sunseeker90

Well everyone is different....if everyone earned the same and had the same disposable income we would live in a very different society. I cant imagine spending 1k on a holiday FOR 2!! Including all food and fuel!

The bottom line is whats affordable and fair, if the couple can afford for him to spend £400 fine, do both parties have equal access to disposable incomr to treat thekselves- fine. If its putting you in debt or one sided then not fine.

You really can't imagine "only spending 1k for a weeks' holiday", given that millions of people barely earn 1k for a month of full-time work? Really?

I mean, yes, if you can afford it, fine, blow 1k on two days of food/drink but to say you can't imagine spending a THOUSAND pounds on a holiday for two is a bit bonkers, lol.

Some people take their family of four abroad for a week all-inclusive for that amount!

CallMeRisley · 23/10/2021 16:02

@icedcoffees

Some people take their family of four abroad for a week all-inclusive for that amount!

A week’s all inclusive holiday abroad for a family of 4 for £1k?
Link please! Grin

rainbowstardrops · 23/10/2021 16:03

@icedcoffees

I must live in a parallel universe to most posters on here - I think £400 for two nights of food and drink for one person is absolutely extortionate Blush

Same. I wouldn't dream of spending that unless it was a family/couples thing.
Especially as he moaned about OP buying a jacket!
I'm glad I live in my parallel universe to this madness.

Sunseeker90 · 23/10/2021 16:05

Well then some people are better deal seekers than me!

icedcoffees · 23/10/2021 16:10

[quote CallMeRisley]@icedcoffees

Some people take their family of four abroad for a week all-inclusive for that amount!

A week’s all inclusive holiday abroad for a family of 4 for £1k?
Link please! Grin[/quote]
OnTheBeach do some great deals.

We paid less than £500 for a week in Lanzarote a couple of weeks ago. That included hotels, flights, transfers, food and drink.

LovingBob · 23/10/2021 16:11

He sounds a bit nasty about the jacket, what's it to do with him if he can spend as he likes

godmum56 · 23/10/2021 16:11

@rachybarrr

I'm not controlling at all but if the roles were reversed he would have something to say. I bought myself a jacket from Zara for £49.99 and he went on about it for a week. I wore it every weekend so I would show him I was getting my money's worth Grin
yes, I sensed maybe the money wasn't the problem and that a drip feed was coming
TheChosenTwo · 23/10/2021 16:11

Also interested in the holiday for 4 costing no more than 1K! Amazing Shock

godmum56 · 23/10/2021 16:12

@RobertsRadio

If I was you Op, I would be taking £400 plus half of the remaining funds out of the joint savings account and putting into a savings account in my sole name, and from now on would put my monthly £500 into my own savings account. If he wants to spend on trips away, footie, darts etc it can come out of his share of the savings.
this
maddiemookins16mum · 23/10/2021 16:19

Drinks (especially if doing a round), taxis, tips, food, room service - I’d say £400 was a high amount but certainly could be spent.

Travis1 · 23/10/2021 16:19

I’m going out in Glasgow city centre for a friends 40th and I’m assuming I’ll spend at least £100 so for an all day shot £200 per day seems reasonable 🤷🏻‍♀️

HeckyPeck · 23/10/2021 16:22

If I was you Op, I would be taking £400 plus half of the remaining funds out of the joint savings account and putting into a savings account in my sole name, and from now on would put my monthly £500 into my own savings account. If he wants to spend on trips away, footie, darts etc it can come out of his share of the savings.

Another one agreeing with this.

HollowTalk · 23/10/2021 16:41

[quote RussianSpy101]**@SchoolFraud* @HollowTalk* where do you both eat???[/quote]
Usually somewhere on Bold Street.

junebirthdaygirl · 23/10/2021 16:56

I always want to have more than l need going away in case anything turns up and l don't want to be embarrassed at being short. He will probably not spend it all. At least its on his card not in his pocket.

Drumshambo · 23/10/2021 17:11

The £400 seems a little bit on the high side for two days, but not hugely so! The real issue seems to be a disparity in the spending between you. Do you go out together for drinks/ dinner op, and if so how much do you spend?
What about holidays/ trips away?

Mydogmylife · 23/10/2021 17:18

@KitchenKrisis

Yes it's alot what else is he buying? Female company? Drugs?
Good grief!
Drumshambo · 23/10/2021 17:19

Also, how much has he spent on the accommodation and means of getting to Liverpool? unless the accommodation is free, and he got transported there and back for nothing, the trip will have cost more than £400!

Original poster
rachybarrr · 23/10/2021 17:25

Hotel was £160 each for two nights and £45 in petrol each

OP posts:
sassbott · 23/10/2021 17:30

Seems a reasonable amount to me.

The question here though seems to be around financial control/ imbalance.
He gets to withdraw £400 quid for a weekend away but gives you hassle over spending £50 at zara?

Bluntly, why is both your discretionary personal expenditure not higher? If someone gave me shit over a jacket I bought (assuming it’s not an affordability issue/ our family money needs to be prioritised elsewhere/ I’m not a compulsive shopper), id tell them where to go.

(I’d also do the same if questioned over 400 quid for a weekend away).

XiCi · 23/10/2021 17:35

[quote gogohm]@rachybarrr I thought Liverpool was cheap for a night out but I live down south (not London) cocktails were £8 each and beer was circa £4.50 in the city centre, wine was quite cheap at £7 a glass[/quote]
When were you last in Liverpool? 1987?