Friend forward facing her 9 month old

[JimHairy]

My friend has a 9 month old DS who she has started front facing in the car. She has a Cosatto rotating car seat and her reasoning is that her son sometimes gets upset when rear facing and is a lot happier when facing forward. This is true, but from being in the car with him previously he’s not that bad in rear facing, just gets a bit frustrated and wriggly but he does settle after about 10 minutes.

She’s a great parent and also has a 7 year old. I’m a FTM so I feel really awkward giving her advice but it’s really really worrying me that her DS is unsafe in the car. This is compounded by a local incident that happened a few years ago where a child died in a head on collision due to an improperly fitted car seat. This is always in my mind.

So far, I’ve sent her the government advice sheet about car seat safety that says to rear face as long as possible and at least until 15 months but she just said that her car seat says it’s ok forward facing babies from 9 months. I didn’t argue, just said I’d seen that it wasn’t advised to forward face so early.

I feel I’ve done what I can by sending her the information and she’s now making an informed decision to forward face, even though it’s clearly very wrong. The other problem (although less so) is that she keeps telling me I should forward face my DS who’s the same age because he hates the car. I’ve said I’d rather he was safe and temporarily unhappy, but she argues that it’s cruel to make him so unhappy even for short periods and the chances of an accident are really low. I won’t be forward facing my DS and he’ll be rear facing as long as possible.

WWYD? Do I keep sending her info or just leave it now?

DS was rear facing until 3, would have preferred it to be longer, but he outgrew the seat.

Lots of people felt the need to comment on it, how much nicer it would be for him to be forward facing. I just said rear facing was safer, made no comment on their choices though maybe some felt there was implied criticism, but it wasn't intended as I'm sure they had their own reasons for their choice.

@SickAndTiredAgain

You really have your children say with their knees bent on long journeys in the car? I certainly do not advocate babies sitting in a front facing car seat but a 4 year!! Sounds totally ridiculous to me having a 4 year old sat in a car with bent knees!! Mumsnet gets crazier by the day.

Bent knees? Why are you making such a fuss about bent knees? Kids sit with bent knees all the time, whenever they sit cross-legged, or kneel, or sit with their legs dangling off a chair.
Do you have straight legs when you sit in your car?

Adults don't sit with their upper legs at 45 degrees to the vertical and their feet at the same level as their bums. That is a much less comfortable position than sitting with upper legs supported by the seat and lower legs down towards the floor, as adults and children in FF seats do..

@saraclara well yes I was being a bit facetious about adults sitting with straight legs. But if you put extended rear facing into google images, you can see that children can sit in different positions and don’t look scrunched up.

My ds is 3.5 and still rear facing but it would be none of my business if someone else decided to forward face their child. Maybe they’re more risk of a collision because their child is screaming in the back of the car while rear facing and it’s distressing and distracting.

I like my leather seats far too much to subject them to this... 😇

I mean, a seat protector is a thing.

I am not one of these people who thinks everyone needs to RF forever. You want to FF, go ahead. My 3yo is FF, I could have continued to RF him, I decided not to. But the whole having to justify it with flimsy reasons is just silly and puts people off.

If you want to RF then you almost certainly can and myths going around about it being expensive/impractical/uncomfortable don't help.

If you don't want to, don't justify it to anyone. Your child your choice. Nobody will make you RF.

@BertieBotts

I mean, a seat protector is a thing.

Dear me, no. Seat protectors are ghastly looking things. I don’t even allow children’s shoes in the car in case of scuffs.

@rainbowdashsneeze both mine rear faxed til four and a half and just bent their knees. It's not an issue.

Not trying to be goady but just curious as DS is still young so don't have an issue with having to bend knees yet. But guidance is clear that feet should never be resting on the dash as if there is impact from the front, the injuries to the legs would be a lot worse; does the same apply if in the back? Admittedly you'd expect the boot to take a lot of the impact, and it would be preferable to the worse outcomes, but is sat with bent knees not ideal?

@Fetarabbit

Not trying to be goady but just curious as DS is still young so don't have an issue with having to bend knees yet. But guidance is clear that feet should never be resting on the dash as if there is impact from the front, the injuries to the legs would be a lot worse; does the same apply if in the back? Admittedly you'd expect the boot to take a lot of the impact, and it would be preferable to the worse outcomes, but is sat with bent knees not ideal?

Isn’t no feet on the dash because if the airbag goes the legs will be forced back in to your face?

Even so, think of a head oh when you are facing the direction of travel - your body would go forward so uf your legs were up on the dashboard you’d be folded in half at speed. If you were facing the other way, you would be jolted backwards, not forcing your legs in to an unnatural position.

Oh and I’d you mean a rear end collision these would usually be at lower speed as it isn’t 2 cars travelling in opposite directions meeting.

Ah thank you @modgepodge does make sense :)

Yes no feet on dashboard is to do with airbags. No airbags in rear seats therefore not dangerous.

But the idea that children have to have their legs straight up on the back seat is a bit of a misnomer anyway. That only happens with the cheaper seats. With most they are set a bit back from the rear seat so there is a space for legs and the child can sit in a totally normal seated position like in the images on this page: rearfacingtoddlers.com/blogs/blog/the-differences-between-the-axkid-minikid-and-move

Actually you get more incidence of broken legs with forward facing because the legs swing straight into the seat in front at speed; very few cars have enough space that a forward facing child's legs can't reach the seat in front.