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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask if you have a favourite child?

169 replies

Zippyzoppy · 22/10/2021 19:38

I would say I love both my children equally, I would do anything for either of them.

I recently asked them both about favourite children in general and they both confided in me that they thought I was their favourite! This was music to my ears because…..

Deep down, I just find one of them easier to spend time with and talk to, and it’s always worried me that it somehow would show.

So my question is whether anyone else feels similarly, or whether you would say you feel exactly the same about each of your children?

OP posts:
Runningupthecurtains · 22/10/2021 19:39

I have a favourite - but I only have one child.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 22/10/2021 19:41

I don't have a favourite. Some are easier to get on with, some are easier ages or easier personalities etc

Coronawireless · 22/10/2021 19:42

They swing in and out of favour. If I ever felt that I preferred one over a longer period I think I’d make sure to spend extra time with the less favoured one for a while until the spark came back. It always does!

Lollypop701 · 22/10/2021 19:43

Depends on the day tbh!

DramaAlpaca · 22/10/2021 19:44

I have three sons. They are all very different but I genuinely don't have a favourite.

I've said this before on here, but I once overheard the three of them arguing lightheartedly about which of them was my favourite, and was very amused to discover that each of them thinks that he is my favourite Grin

esloquehay · 22/10/2021 19:44

I don't have a favourite.
My ex, unfortunately, does and he doesn't even try to hide it.

Atla · 22/10/2021 19:44

I have one child that I have most in common with in terms of interests and personality. But I love all my children equally and because of their own personalities. I work hard to make more effort to find things with the other two that we can enjoy together & try to have quality time with them all.

Coronawireless · 22/10/2021 19:44

@Coronawireless

They swing in and out of favour. If I ever felt that I preferred one over a longer period I think I’d make sure to spend extra time with the less favoured one for a while until the spark came back. It always does!
Lots of people seem to have a favourite though. I don’t know how people can parent so badly as to let it be obvious.
Same360 · 22/10/2021 19:45

If I found out that my parents had a favourite I’d be upset if it wasn’t me, and uncomfortable and awkward if it was. Unless one of your children is clearly an awful person then you should love them all equally!

DeepaBeesKit · 22/10/2021 19:46

I have a favourite girl and a favourite boy

I only have one of each Grin.

My two are different in lots of ways so I like that I bond with each of them a little differently. Each is special and unique to me.

Bonsaibreaker · 22/10/2021 19:46

I have 4 DC and it changes daily so I have not voted.

One day DS1 may do something amazing and he stands out. Same day DD may say something really funny so I laugh all day.
There are days when none of my DC are favourite....more days than not recently!

It's not a this one's my favourite forever kind of thing.

JurgensCakeBaby · 22/10/2021 19:46

I have a favourite but only have one.
I think when we were children DB was definitely DMs favourite, DF was less obvious, we've always been very close but he shares sports/hobby interests with DB. Now we're adults DB frustrates DM because he hasn't really grown up and whilst he has a wife and children he doesn't take responsibility for anything and takes DM for granted with childcare etc. It was a big birthday for her recently, we did a party and a nice gift from both of us, when she gave me a hug and a kiss she whispered thank you I know all of this was you rather than your brother (true) you didn't have to go to so much trouble. I also heard her talking to MIL a few years ago at Christmas about how proud she was of me, the way I am raising my son, my career, independence and the way I was looking out for my grandparents one of whom was ill at the time. It was nice to hear.

BrennieGirl · 22/10/2021 19:48

Yes I do. Hughie the dog. He's so much less trouble than the human children.

CreepySpider · 22/10/2021 19:48

My favourite is interchangeable depending upon their behaviour but when all are being lovely, then they are equal. I definitely prefer different ones for different activities.

LucyGrey · 22/10/2021 19:49

I have two sons and don't have a favourite although they each think the other is the favourite when I'm cross with one of them! Sometimes I find one easier than the other but it goes in phases as there is 3 years between them I genuinely love and like them equally though.

Furrydogmum · 22/10/2021 19:49

I have a favourite oldest son and a favourite youngest son - two sons in all. They both know I prefer the dogs Wink

BoxOfDreams · 22/10/2021 19:49

I have two and will admit here, anonymously, that yes I have a favourite. Both are adults now and I'm a granny. One has generally been easy going, stable and loving, one has been a challenge to say the least. I love them both very much, and both think the other is favourite. I've put a lot more time, effort and love into the challenging one and it has paid off, but we're always on eggshells. Whereas contact with the other DC is really relaxed and easy. It is what it is.

MuchTooTired · 22/10/2021 19:55

I have a favourite son and a favourite daughter, but I’ve only got the two! I try really hard to give them both equal attention from me (they’re twins) so neither of them feel I prefer the other.

Whilst they’re both amazing, I find one easier to get along with than the other if I’m being brutally honest, but I find the other child easier to get out and do things with.

User310 · 22/10/2021 19:58

I wouldn’t say it’s favourite but I have a teen and a small toddler and I just adore spending time with my toddler (ATM).

I get on very well with teen but she’s less squidgy and doesn’t say adorable things anymore.

I love them both immensely though.

AdviceOnLife · 22/10/2021 20:00

I have 3. They are all very spaced out age wise so very hard to compare which is what I love so much. So they are each my favourite for different reasons.

Cuntness · 22/10/2021 20:02

My dad definitely has a favourite!

(It's not me, despite being the only girl)

Soupseason · 22/10/2021 20:04

Yep, my middle son is definitely by favorite. We have similar interests so maybe that's why. If you asked my other kids they would says my youngest daughter is the favorite, she is actually the one I have to try the hardest with. Love them all & would do anything for them.

Aorh · 22/10/2021 20:05

No.

Apart from at night, then it’s the older one who actually bloody sleeps. 😂

Bollocks989 · 22/10/2021 20:07

Yes, I tell them all.

user1471453601 · 22/10/2021 20:07

My lovely sister was, quite clearly, my mum's favourite. Mum was never cruel to me, or anything like that.

But I do wonder if my choosing only ever to have one (perfect, in my eyes) child was a response to this.

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