To not want to drive 40 minutes to return a Jam Jar?

[itsme189]

A family member (partners side) made us all Jam for Christmas last year, lovely gift and was very nice.

They now want all the Jars back to do it again they are like Kilner Jars (just not branded I don't think) I do still have it in the random Tupperware cupboard.

I would have to drive 40 minutes to return the Jar DH thinks I should as it is thiers. I just said it was a gift and I am happy to not receive any Jam this year to avoid this. We wont see them between now and Christmas. He thinks I'm being unreasonable?

DH can't drive and there is no public transport to where they live!

Perfect message OP. I might have added “you tight arse jobbies” at the end but that’s just me ...

But it is cheeky as anything. You don't give a gift then expect the container back!

@NerrSnerr my DH's family is my family. I regularly pop in to MIL and FILs house for a cuppa without him, go for drinks with his cousins or meet his Aunties for lunch. He plays golf with my Dad and is in a group chat with my brother and sister to talk about their fantasy football league haha! I am as close to his family as I am my own!

Close to all of them except this person lol

What an absolute CF.

Not only do they give you a rubbish home made present. But they then insist on half of the back to give you the same drivel the following year?!

Tell them to keep their jam and not to bloody well bother.

That seems reasonable OP. What your DH was suggesting was nuts. Was the request a general one to all jam recipients where, for most of them, returning the jar would not be a problem? They may not have specifically been expecting you to return the jar and it was just DH's take that you should comply with the request.

@Megan2018

I'd go and get it out of the cupboard and break it.....

I would be tempted to do this!

Don’t return the jar, surely it’s part of the gift unless said at the time “please wash and return?” Bonkers. Bonkers.

@Enterifyoudare

What an absolute CF.

Not only do they give you a rubbish home made present. But they then insist on half of the back to give you the same drivel the following year?!

Tell them to keep their jam and not to bloody well bother.

I think it's lovely to receive gifts someone's gone to an effort to make,

YANBU, tell them you’re happy to go without the jam and you’ll give them back the jar at Christmas. 40 minute drive is much too far.

If DH is really bothered he can go to the post office and send it to them.

Blimey. How parsimonious.

I’d just say I’d passed it on. 🤷‍♀️

Good grief. No driving, no posting, no buying a new one. Real gifts don’t come with ridiculous conditional attachments. I would be having a ‘hard’ , cop yer self on, word with anyone who thought this was an appropriate request.

Would have just text the jar broke a few months ago.

This is completely bonkers. I echo a PP’s question, was the request specifically made to you or was it more of a general ‘it would be great if anyone who has a jar could return it at some point as we’ll be making more jam soon’? I could sort of understand the latter, no point buying new jars if the old ones are still rattling around unused in people’s cupboards. But not asking people to drive over specifically to bring back jars, that’s bonkers.

I’ve made chutneys and Christmas puddings etc for relatives in the past and would never ever expect a jar or pudding basin back. Sometimes people might bring back the empty ones when I next see them but I’ve never asked anyone to!

How tight of them to want the jar back! They must be brassic. Hilarious

Sounds like a simple way to reuse nice jars - no need for expensive gifts. Please don’t order new from Amazon - that is the opposite principle to the original giver. Just be honest and say that it has been used. No need for any drama.

40 minutes each way for jam, no way. Now if we were talking cheeseboards and they wanted that back to refill with cheese, I’m on my way.

Tell them your unable to return it and that they will have too collect it if they want it back.

You accidentally smashed it whilst removing it from it's sacred place at the back of the cupboard, so therefore you can't return it

I'm SO sorry about that shrugs

Making a gift is lovely, but placing so much value on the container and packaging isn’t. I blame rubbish like Kirsty Allsopp for convincing people buying things for what is meant to be home made stuff is necessary.

If the gift really was about the jam or something home made then reusing a jar should be sufficient instead of buying new jars.

Say you already recycled it as you didn't realise they wanted it back
Prob means you get no jam this year but small price to pay

They messaged everyone individually asking for them back.

They've responded "I dont really want to drive all the way there, hopefully other people are more willing to return theirs or this will get expensive. And yeah I wont be making any for people who cant return it"

I DONT WANT YOUR BLODDY JAM

I just said no problem maybe let people know you need the Jar back next time.

I would've said sorry I chucked it when I finished it!

Print out this thread in a festive font, wrap it up, decorate it with tinsel, and give it to them for Christmas.

I would laugh it off… oh I had no idea you would want the jar back… next time we are visiting I will bring it with me, or you can pop in and pick it up.

There is no way I would be driving 80 miles for a jam jar…. Nor would I buy her another one. Very strange behaviour.

Then once you've told them go and hurl it at the nearest hard surface to take out your frustration at being married to an idiot that was insisting you return it via an unnecessary car journey