To not want to drive 40 minutes to return a Jam Jar?

[itsme189]

A family member (partners side) made us all Jam for Christmas last year, lovely gift and was very nice.

They now want all the Jars back to do it again they are like Kilner Jars (just not branded I don't think) I do still have it in the random Tupperware cupboard.

I would have to drive 40 minutes to return the Jar DH thinks I should as it is thiers. I just said it was a gift and I am happy to not receive any Jam this year to avoid this. We wont see them between now and Christmas. He thinks I'm being unreasonable?

DH can't drive and there is no public transport to where they live!

@Animood

Just lie and say you recycled it.

OP already said she'd offered it back to aunt if she wanted to come collect it. Too late to lie now. And potentially she might get another jar of unwanted jam and expected to keep and drive that one back as well!

I can’t understand why the op didn’t play the eco card

But hey ho. If people wish to live in a society that doesnt act like that, then that is up to them.
And that is indeed what we are getting to in the UK. People are not caring about others.

We all reap what we sow.

@lightand

Don't be ridiculous. Aunt Jam gives a present. Demands ( not at all nicely ) for return of the jar. Regardless of time, money , petrol. Also not willing to facilitate it herself. And then rude as you like tells OP off and says she's cutting her of her list. Spirit of Christmas indeed.

That's where it's all going to shit. Aunt Jam sounds bossy, demanding, thoughtless and overbearing and she has totally reaped what was sown.

Lay off OP for the not caring about others!

They aren’t doing something nice. They are doing something they want to do and imposing on everyone else to make it happen.

@LittleBearPad

Couldn't agree more.

Compromise to keep the peace. Amazon sell really nice preserve jars so just order one and have it sent to them direct.

The OP has said several times she can’t afford it. Also, why the fuck should she? If you have ‘conditions’ attached to gifts then either say so at the time or don’t bloody well make jam for people.

@Believer99

40 minutes is not long at all and they are literally being kind and wanting to do something nice for you as they did last year. Surely you could go and visit them and whilst there return their jar.

Why you being so miserable about it.

OP isn't being miserable if she can't afford the cost of the fuel or the time to return a jar she never knew was expected back.

The aunt should have made her expectations clear when she gave out the jam in the first place. I see no obligation in trying to either return the jar or post a new one.

So the gift was literally just the jam. Not the jar. Imagine if we all wanted containers back that held gifts. How odd.

Or the wrapping paper

Actually, I may do this with paper. I’ll wait 10 months then contact everyone I gave a gift to and ask for my wrapping paper back. They can come deliver it to me to save me any bother. Will work out well as will save any expense of having to buy new paper each year. If people don’t oblige I will be both disappointed and raging and they won’t ever get another gift.

@HoppingPavlova

Actually, I may do this with paper. I’ll wait 10 months then contact everyone I gave a gift to and ask for my wrapping paper back. They can come deliver it to me to save me any bother. Will work out well as will save any expense of having to buy new paper each year. If people don’t oblige I will be both disappointed and raging and they won’t ever get another gift.

😂😂😂

@HoppingPavlova

But what if they recycled the wrapping paper after last Xmas ?

Ungrateful blighters. It's so expensive at £2 a roll...

Can I post you back our empty wrapping paper ? I really want another present this year... ignore the crossed out "happy birthday" it says "happy Christmas " honest guv ...

Frankly if wrapping paper needs returning I think Christmas cards need to be sent back too.

Bugger the Salvation Army and their charity cards. Let’s reuse.

[quote Whereismumhiding3]@backtolifebacktoreality

I'm not sure that'd really "teach her"

If aunt has brass neck enough to demand 80 mile (or whatever distance) round trip for an empty glass jar that she doesn't want to drive but expects others to do, she's likely to be far too inflexible in her thinking to realise how unreasonable she is. Better to let her collect empties at Xmas gathering with OP saying "here's your empty jamjar. Although it's kind of you to gift homemade jam to us for Xmas, we would rather not participate in anything requiring us to later drive 80 mile round trip to return an empty jamjar. That's so uneco friendly to the environment. Why don't you save your lovely homemade jam for local friends. I'm sure they'd appreciate it and find it easier to return empties to you "

I don't know if that's sound rude but aunts text reply earlier was self important and rude. [/quote]

I suppose I meant that she could return it but infer she doesn't want any more as it was awful jam anyway

@backtolifebacktoreality

I understand you were supporting OP & saying how unreasonable her aunt was, but I just can't see an aunt that thick skinned getting the subtleties of OP inferring anything if OP does drive there and back to deliver one empty jar!

Aunt would probably just think she was right to ask for it's return, and she may give her more jam for Xmas!

Even if OP drops heavy hints... "I don't want more jam Thankyou Auntie" , I've no doubt Auntie would instead hear something entirely different (I'm using crossed out bits backwards here, I know) - " Auntie , I drove 80 miles round trip to return an empty jamjar and don't want to put you to any trouble with your delicious world renown jam. But I secretly want more jam and to drive an empty jar back to you next year again Thank-you Auntie"

I'd prefer Auntie remained a little bit peeved with me and fulfilled her threat never to give me jam again!

Plum jam is literally the dullest of all jams, I would hazard the special jar was the best part of the "gift".

I find it bizarre that they've asked for it back. Especially when you hardly see them. They're happy for you to make that drive, yet it isn't a journey they're willing to make themselves. Surely the jar is part of the gift? She's clearly seen her arse but it just seems like an unreasonable request.

@TSSDNCOP

Plum jam is literally the dullest of all jams, I would hazard the special jar was the best part of the "gift".

I disagree! Plum jam + mayonnaise makes the most amazing sauce for chicken salad.

My DM makes plums in syrup, it’s the best thing ever and I’m always trying to steal a jar…

I make jam. When u was a beginner I bought some beautiful jars but not everyone returns them (I don't mind, I knew it was a possibility) Instead of asking for a jar back off everyone I asked everyone for their old jam jars from shop brought jam. Now I have lots of jars ready for my jam that I don't mind not being returned.

@mountbattenbergcake precisely, it's so dull it needs mayonnaise to elevate it to boaksome who puts jam and mayonnaise together delicious. What other jam needs Mayo?

[quote TSSDNCOP]@mountbattenbergcake precisely, it's so dull it needs mayonnaise to elevate it to boaksome who puts jam and mayonnaise together delicious. What other jam needs Mayo?[/quote]

I don't eat a lot of jam on toast (trying to lose weight).

But when it comes to my chicken salad sauce, only plum jam does the job.

@mountbattenbergcake

I was sending you a back

I'll have to send you the recipe

Is it:

Plum jam
Mayonnaise

Mix
Dollop