To not want to drive 40 minutes to return a Jam Jar?

[itsme189]

A family member (partners side) made us all Jam for Christmas last year, lovely gift and was very nice.

They now want all the Jars back to do it again they are like Kilner Jars (just not branded I don't think) I do still have it in the random Tupperware cupboard.

I would have to drive 40 minutes to return the Jar DH thinks I should as it is thiers. I just said it was a gift and I am happy to not receive any Jam this year to avoid this. We wont see them between now and Christmas. He thinks I'm being unreasonable?

DH can't drive and there is no public transport to where they live!

@julieca nope this is his aunt who moved away so we don't see her that often normally just Christmas do other people not have relatives like that? I have lots of family members I only see every few months and Christmas is only 2 months away!

Wow, what a CF. Good on you, OP.

Say you used it to take a wee sample to the doctor

"I would have to drive 40 minutes to return the Jar DH thinks I should as it is thiers."

But it's NOT theirs. They gifted it to you. It's your jar, to do with as you please. If they want to gift you a similar present to last year, they can use another jar.

Them asking for the jar back is batshit.
Him thinking you should return it is batshit.
Driving 80 minutes to return it is batshit.
Posting it back would be inconvenient and expensive - and batshit.

I'd go with a variation of @FreeBritnee's advice.
"Say unfortunately an 80 minute round trip to deliver a kilner jar makes no sense time wise, or environmentally." But I'd replace "You would be very happy to get one sent to them and then you can bring the original next time you see them." with "You'd be very happy to receive the gift of jam in an ordinary jar."

@itsme189

They messaged everyone individually asking for them back.

They've responded "I dont really want to drive all the way there, hopefully other people are more willing to return theirs or this will get expensive. And yeah I wont be making any for people who cant return it"

I DONT WANT YOUR BLODDY JAM

I just said no problem maybe let people know you need the Jar back next time.

Omg OK just read this.

Do post or return the jam jar. Fuck them, how rude.

That’s insane and I would totally expect them to collect if they wanted it

Ignore the message.

If you generally give them a Christmas present, then return the jar at Christmas with something in it, either homemade or just some bought sweets.

Tell them to just plonk your jam straight into the wrapping paper and tape it up. And you'll remember to save the wrapping paper for her to use next year!

@KT727

Why not send it in the post? Just cover it in some bubble wrap and take it to the post office.

Hahahaha! You can't just wrap glass in bubble wrap and post it! Although you'd be surprised how many people think you can, it's really dangerous to do that- you need to box it, with enough padding/bubble wrap to stop if moving around.

Although to be fair, I'd be batting this back to the DH and making him deal with the crazy.

Have you spoken with any other family members who received jam. What do they think of the need for returning jar.

I love how they are not willing to drive to yours to pick up the jar but expect you to do so.

@itsme189

I just dont want him wasting our money on posting Jars, I can't believe so many people would buy a new one or post it etc. It's not the branded type they are literally £1.50 in wilko. I dont expect them to buy a new one as we just wont have any Jam.

This is baffling me too! No way would I be buying - and posting - a new bloody jar! Someone even said get Hermes to collect it and take it to them. It's 3 to 5 pounds for a small parcel! And the jam jar may be about a pound or more. (Unless you wash out an old jam jar of our own LOL!)

And as for doing an 80 minute round trip to take it! Your relative is batshit @itsme189 and so are some of the ideas on here! (From some posters!) Just say you lost it seriously. OR as a few posters have said, get your DP to sort it. It's his family!

They've responded "I dont really want to drive all the way there, hopefully other people are more willing to return theirs or this will get expensive. And yeah I wont be making any for people who cant return it"

They have a plum tree, don't they?

@LagneyandCasey

Say you used it to take a wee sample to the doctor

Brilliant.

Or...... even better, say you used it for a POO sample 💩

If you don't use it, just tell them you will let them have it back the next time you see each other.

@QueeniesCroft they do in fact have a plum tree hahaha

They've had all year to pick it up! They sound incredibly rude as well. Sod the jam and just Gove them the jar back at Xmas if you are seeing them then

Is this relative always so passive aggressive OP? No wonder you don't have much contact with them!

@ShaneTheThird

That's batshit. To echo everyone else the jar is part of the gift. They got you a jar of jam... otherwise they simply got you jam

This absolutely. Such a random request! Also, the price you'd pay to a) order a new jam jar to send to them or b) post the old one back - you'd be cheaper buying a pot of jam yourself and going without the 'gift' at Xmas

Kinda losing the lovely Christmas spirit isn't she, threatening taking away the jam!

Bonkers! I make Jam and chutneys as a gift and the nice kilner jars are definitely part of the gift as people can reuse them how they see fit. My mum might pass back jars if they're not using them but that's it.

It might JUST be acceptable if she said at the time "I wouldn't mind the jar back at some point if you think of it" but not even to mention it then expect them back is daft. If you're not using it you would have recycled it surely,?

@pictish

“And yeah, I won’t be making for people who can’t return them.”

Oooh gutted. No special jam for people who haven’t earned it. That’s you told.

I know!

If I was Op I'd be doing a happy dance & thinking "Result!"

I make marmalade and give it as presents - 2021 vintage maturing nicely - I don’t ask for the jars back because I assume they have been recycled. On the other hand I have a friend who makes Christmas puddings, and I do give the bowls back.

@LemonMuffins

I can't believe people are telling you to order them a new jar I'd tell them to either collect it or forget it. You won't be leaving the house with the jar.

This, 100%. Bonkers

Royal Mail
Amazon
They collect

There are other ways round this.

@LagneyandCasey

Say you used it to take a wee sample to the doctor

😂😂