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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to drive 40 minutes to return a Jam Jar?

554 replies

itsme189 · 21/10/2021 11:00

A family member (partners side) made us all Jam for Christmas last year, lovely gift and was very nice.

They now want all the Jars back to do it again they are like Kilner Jars (just not branded I don't think) I do still have it in the random Tupperware cupboard.

I would have to drive 40 minutes to return the Jar DH thinks I should as it is thiers. I just said it was a gift and I am happy to not receive any Jam this year to avoid this. We wont see them between now and Christmas. He thinks I'm being unreasonable?

DH can't drive and there is no public transport to where they live!

OP posts:
Kiduknot · 21/10/2021 11:08

They can collect or say that you’ve got rid of it. I wouldn’t be driving 40 minutes.

Reallyimeanreally2022 · 21/10/2021 11:08

Play the eco card

Skyeheather · 21/10/2021 11:09

Tell your DH to package it up and arrange for MyHermes to collect it from your house and deliver it to theirs. It will be cheaper than driving it.

Original poster
itsme189 · 21/10/2021 11:10

40 mins each way! I'm deffo not buying a new Jar just dont make me any Jam i'm baffled. Also this so out of character DH is always telling people i'm not a free delivery service and I can give constant lifts but is happy for me to drive 80 minutes for Jam [GRIN]

OP posts:
ShaneTheThird · 21/10/2021 11:10

That's batshit. To echo everyone else the jar is part of the gift. They got you a jar of jam... otherwise they simply got you jam Confused

offyougotwantychops · 21/10/2021 11:11

@MoonahStone

Just tell them the jar was your favourite bit of the gift Grin
OuchGrin
SirChenjins · 21/10/2021 11:11

No way would I be driving 40 mins to return a jam jar! What a bizarre thing to ask you to do - the jar is part of the present (unless they specifically said they would need it back and you agreed to it). I’d do as others suggest and say it’s broken/given away/recycled/whatever

almaonao · 21/10/2021 11:11

Tell them to come and get it themselves. They are complete cheapskates, I wouldn't want the jam again. Was it even nice?

Reallyimeanreally2022 · 21/10/2021 11:12

@itsme189

40 mins each way! I'm deffo not buying a new Jar just dont make me any Jam i'm baffled. Also this so out of character DH is always telling people i'm not a free delivery service and I can give constant lifts but is happy for me to drive 80 minutes for Jam [GRIN]
“I don’t think it’s very eco friendly to drive to drop off the jam jar! It was a lovely and thoughtful gift, thank you, but sadly not going to be able to return jar to you. It was a wonderful gift and will be used this year as a vase and I’ll think of you!”
starrynight87 · 21/10/2021 11:13

Your DH should be sorting this

Marvellousmadness · 21/10/2021 11:13

Fuck that. Say no.
And keep saying no

And if he keeps whining: he can do it.

Or you could just accidentally drop it.........

Original poster
itsme189 · 21/10/2021 11:14

@almaonao i mean it was plum Jam so not my fav but it was good! I mean they could buy a jar of supermarket jam for a pound and empty that I am happy to send them £1 haha.

OP posts:
brokenbiscuitsx · 21/10/2021 11:14

I would have thought it was part of the gift and if I didn’t have use for it (after scoffing all the jam) I probably would have but it in the recycling Blush

Original poster
itsme189 · 21/10/2021 11:15

They also never said I would need to return the Jar and I never asked because to me that's mental. Also they are well off (like own a huge boat well off) and me and DH live month to month!

OP posts:
KT727 · 21/10/2021 11:17

Why not send it in the post? Just cover it in some bubble wrap and take it to the post office.

KT727 · 21/10/2021 11:18

Or just lose it, that sounds like a good plan.

ThedaBara · 21/10/2021 11:18

I'm imagining a sweet old dear, on a fixed income, lovingly making jam for all the family, now being sent messages to 'do one' and people driving past her house just to give her the finger.
It's inconvenient for you to return the jar, so don't. Every family has an eccentric, no?

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 21/10/2021 11:18

Just tell your Dh to post it back

Hemingwayscats · 21/10/2021 11:18

The jar should be a part of the gift. If they didn’t want to lose expensive jars, they should just have recycled old ones. Of course you shouldn’t drive 40 minutes to drop a jar off, insanity.

FreeBritnee · 21/10/2021 11:19

The truth is always the best policy. Say unfortunately an 80 minute round trip to deliver a kilner jar makes no sense time wise, or environmentally. You would be very happy to get one sent to them and then you can bring the original next time you see them. If they argue against that then they are dickheads. .

TyrannysaurusXXrightshoarder · 21/10/2021 11:19

Oh, I read your title and assumed you’d gone all cockney. But no, they really do want an actual jam jar back. Grin

Stellaris22 · 21/10/2021 11:19

If post it if they really need it back, but please don’t just buy a new one when you can reuse an item instead, Yes Amazon exists, but buying new items isn’t necessary.

Original poster
itsme189 · 21/10/2021 11:19

@KT727 so then I have to buy bubble wrap find a box and pay for postage of a jar that somebody gave to me? We literally do not have spare money for faffing around with a Jar. So much needs doing in our house, our dog has been to the vets twice this month, the car just had new tires etc every pound counts atm.

OP posts:
HereWeGoAgains · 21/10/2021 11:21

You could buy jam cheaper than it would cost you to post it or drive it there.

CecilyP · 21/10/2021 11:22

DH thinks I should as it is thiers.

But it's not theirs. It's part of the gift to you. They could have given you the same jam in a recycled plastic container - but they didn't, they used a jar to make it into an attractive gift for you!

I definitely wouldn't make a special journey to return it unless you really want to see them anyway. It would cost £3.20 to post, far less than the petrol. Get your DH to pack it and post it.