To not want to drive 40 minutes to return a Jam Jar?

[itsme189]

A family member (partners side) made us all Jam for Christmas last year, lovely gift and was very nice.

They now want all the Jars back to do it again they are like Kilner Jars (just not branded I don't think) I do still have it in the random Tupperware cupboard.

I would have to drive 40 minutes to return the Jar DH thinks I should as it is thiers. I just said it was a gift and I am happy to not receive any Jam this year to avoid this. We wont see them between now and Christmas. He thinks I'm being unreasonable?

DH can't drive and there is no public transport to where they live!

Sometimes I read some of the weirdest things on MN 😂

part of the gift - reasonable-ish request if they were going to make you more AND you lived close by, or generally visited throughout the year.

Good lord, the jam-maker is barmy. My lovely friend made excessive amounts of damson jam this year, handed out jars of the stuff and asked if we could please return the jars when the jam was finished. I have no issue with this because it wasn't given as a 'special ' gift, and it was made crystal clear at the time of giving, that she'd like the jars back if possible.

Getting arsy about not getting a jam jar back is just ridiculous. This person is to be pitied, not feared!

@Redburnett

Jars are absurdly expensive to buy new online, that is why they want it back. Just post it wrapped in bubble wrap and cardboard along with their gift for this year so you only pay for one parcel.

The jar is part of the gift though, so why the hell should she give it back? This is as cheeky as giving someone a present in a nice gift bag and then asking for it back, so that you can use it again to give another present.

@Ddot

Why are people going on about the cost of the jam, Ford every gift have to be expensive and useless. Preserves dont make themselves, I make infused gin, hot ketchup and jam. I have to grow the stuff, pick it cook it, steralize everything, label. It dont make its self you know. I do think expecting op to drive all that way is unreasonable but I hate how commercial Christmas has gotten. Just call her and explain the situation, say you'll drop off at xmas. Sorry can't get there! Fin. If she dont understand then that's tough for her. Buy her a box of jam jars for an xmas gift

It's still a jar of jam, which even a nice jar of is less than three quid. It's not like giving a hand crocheted blanket, which would be very expensive to buy.

We've had this- but with shop-bought gift tags/ Christmas tree decs 😫

What a joke!

Preserves dont make themselves, I make infused gin, hot ketchup and jam. I have to grow the stuff, pick it cook it, steralize everything, label. It dont make its self you know.

Is someone somehow forcing you to do these things? No? Then none of this matters to anyone except you, and if the effort bothers you, you are at liberty to stop. And that doesn't change the fact that the wretched jar was given away, as part of a gift.

I keep the Kilner jars to return to my DM once we've finished her jam for when we see her next but she doesn't demand it and would happily just buy more jars.

It's a stupid present to give people if you're demanding the stupid jars to be returned from around the country back to you

@itsme189

They messaged everyone individually asking for them back.

They've responded "I dont really want to drive all the way there, hopefully other people are more willing to return theirs or this will get expensive. And yeah I wont be making any for people who cant return it"

I DONT WANT YOUR BLODDY JAM

I just said no problem maybe let people know you need the Jar back next time.

Seems odd, they don't want to cover the costs of the jars, yet expect you to spend £ on fuel to return it, plus why not say to people to begin with about the expectation of the jar being returned ?

@QueeniesCroft

Preserves dont make themselves, I make infused gin, hot ketchup and jam. I have to grow the stuff, pick it cook it, steralize everything, label. It dont make its self you know.

Is someone somehow forcing you to do these things? No? Then none of this matters to anyone except you, and if the effort bothers you, you are at liberty to stop. And that doesn't change the fact that the wretched jar was given away, as part of a gift.

Very true and most people won't even want or like your homemade gifts.

I have already received homemade chutney which I scraped straight in the bin. I don't know what her hygiene practises are, but of course she will ask how it is, I will say oh lovely thanks and she'll do the same next year.

I love getting homemade jam. But I also see my family so giving back an empty jar is zero bother.

I agree. I wouldn’t want homemade anything from anyone. Waste of effort, because we definitely wouldn’t eat it or use it

It was a gift ! Surely the jar is part of that. That ' gift' will end up costing you more than it did her in petrol or postage . What a CF she is

Could you suggest everyone takes them to your in-laws or another relative house and they collect from there at least that is just one journey.

Your relative is batty. It’s one thing to collect some jars if they come back easily. It makes no sense to make special trips or post the jars. They are crazy cheap purchased in bulk.

If you dearly loved the jam, it would probably be cheaper to send her the money for a replacement jar, but since you don’t, I think you are taking the correct approach.

Buy relative some on Amazon.

Tell them but you no longer have it as it went out with the glass recycling.

They could have just recycled normal jars instead of using the Kilner jars. Then it wouldn’t matter now.

Why the fuck can't your OH drive ???

Turn up for Christmas with a guitar and keyboard and say you want a jam session.

@DrSbaitso

Turn up for Christmas with a guitar and keyboard and say you want a jam session.

then collect pennies for busking in her jar.

Alternatively give her a jar of Robertsons for Christmas

Post it. X

Or send them a new one via Amazon. X