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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have left them outside for 10 minutes

488 replies

Notoday · 20/10/2021 15:29

I'm a few days away from having a cesarian. I'm having to take some suppressant medication that makes me poorly, so that's fun. I've spent the last week between the bed and the bathroom.

My partner who lives with me went to collect his kids from school and bring them here but he didn't take his keys with him as usual thus leaving the door unlocked.

Naturally if I'm stuck on the toilet or vomiting into a bowl I'm not going to want to leave my door unlocked as I live on a main road, so I locked it until he gets back.

Typically they arrive back when I'm stuck in the bathroom. I couldn't do much about that unfortunately so they had to wait 10 minutes or so until I was able to go and let them in.

DP comes in doing a silly dance saying how much he's bursting for a wee and his youngest DC is majorly pissed off about having to wait outside for so long.

WIBU to have locked the door and made them wait as opposed to leaving the toilet to open the door? Confused

OP posts:
Glitterybug · 20/10/2021 16:52

Don't worry op. Some people on Mumsnet just cannot cope when things are done differently to them in their little middle class suburbs and villages where their idea of crime is someone parking badly. We pretty much always have our front door locked, and always the back door. It takes a second for someone to grab an opportunity. Why make life easier for them?

AutumnLeafy · 20/10/2021 16:53

@Morgan12

Did you think someone would walk into your house whilst you were in the bathroom?

I mean he should have taken the keys yes but I think you're being rather theatrical with the door needing to be locked.

It's possible. If they'd seen DP leave and thought they'd chance the door and nick the TV or car keys or whatever.
PheasantsNest · 20/10/2021 16:53

@Glitterybug I too live on a main road in an inner city area. Don't assume everyone lives in a middle class village.

takenforgrantednana · 20/10/2021 16:55

i didnt vote either way but what about taking a bucket into the bathroom for those occasions where your DP cant be trusted to cope on his own for a very short period of time with no indication of concern for your well being

Original poster
Notoday · 20/10/2021 16:55

@Morgan12

Did you think someone would walk into your house whilst you were in the bathroom?

I mean he should have taken the keys yes but I think you're being rather theatrical with the door needing to be locked.

Absolutely somebody could/would around here.

When I was burgled it was the middle of the day and I was home sleeping off a night shift. That didn't deter them, and they came in via a window. How much easier would it have been if the door was unlocked that day?

Oh how nice it must be not to have to worry about these things.

OP posts:
thegreywoman · 20/10/2021 16:55

my previous post was in response to one earlier by NormanStangerson whose post I failed to copy over! Sorry.

Maria1982 · 20/10/2021 16:55

No sympathy at all for the silly man who needs to take his keys.
Much sympathy for you being stuck in the bathroom. I’ve been there and it’s not fun Envy (not envy)

Glitterybug · 20/10/2021 16:55

Glitterybug I too live on a main road in an inner city area. Don't assume everyone lives in a middle class village

Yeah of course you do. Yet you can't see why op feels safer knowing her door is locked. Hmm

BrilliantBulb · 20/10/2021 16:56

If he was single he’d have remembered his key.

It’s only because he’s using you like his mum that he isn’t bothering to remember.

Anonymous48 · 20/10/2021 16:56

@AutumnLeafy

Yeah, I mean I don't want to have to remember to lock it if I go out the back or have a bath or snooze. Why do people leave it unlocked?

In our case, because if you're the person leaving it's much easier not to have to lock the door on your way out when there's no reason to. It's not like we unlock the door as soon as we get up, and on the occasional day when none of us leave the house the front door will just stay locked. But if I go out and my husband is home I don't bother locking the door when I leave. Obviously we don't live somewhere where we have to worry about someone trying to sneak in though.

Toothiehurtie · 20/10/2021 16:56

What utter nonsense people are speaking on here. The person not taking keys should ask if it’s ok and if there is a chance the other person will be inconvenienced by them not taking keys they should take them unless the key ring they are attached to is a very heavy weight or there is only one set. OP YANBU, his need for a wee doesn’t trunk your need for a poo which you were actually doing!

Glitterybug · 20/10/2021 16:56

didnt vote either way but what about taking a bucket into the bathroom for those occasions where your DP cant be trusted to cope on his own for a very short period of time with no indication of concern for your well being

Why? To fill with water and chuck it over his head?

Unless.... You're not suggesting she shits in a bucket are you?

CatWarbler · 20/10/2021 16:57

@Orcadianrythyms

Grown up take their keys!
Too right! Hope you're not feeling too rough and best of luck with the birth
AutumnLeafy · 20/10/2021 16:57

@Anonymous48 I see makes sense

HouseOfFire · 20/10/2021 16:57

@Notoday

He certainly should have taken his keys. It's a theme. I love how his son has concluded that I'm the problem though Grin
And you should stamp on that, as its not acceptable to do that

Your partner isnt exactly supportive, is he normally an arse?

Mydogmylife · 20/10/2021 16:58

@kateg27

If my partner was at home I wouldn't take my house keys. Why would I? But then again I wouldn't lock the door and leave them outside either but I tend to think of others rather than just myself.
If I knew my partner was in the midst of a 'medical episode' and suffering in the loo I would take my keys with me like a grown up and you know , think of others
NoDecentHandlesLeft · 20/10/2021 16:59

I don't know anybody who leaves their doors unlocked.
YANBU.

greenlynx · 20/10/2021 17:00

We live in a low crime area but we take our keys always when going out and lock our doors, just in case. OP could fall asleep, go to the toilet, and even go into labour. it’s just easier to get keys with you and lock the door.

Opalfeet · 20/10/2021 17:00

Think it's just mumsnet to be honest. Even the most innocuous thread seems to go downhill fast!

2Two · 20/10/2021 17:01

If your stepson can't cope with waiting 10 minutes to get in, maybe it's time he started to learn. Knowing you won't always get instant gratification is a valuable life lesson.

And maybe this incident will teach his father the value of remembering his keys.

2Two · 20/10/2021 17:02

@takenforgrantednana

i didnt vote either way but what about taking a bucket into the bathroom for those occasions where your DP cant be trusted to cope on his own for a very short period of time with no indication of concern for your well being
Huh? What for? Is she supposed to take the bucket with her to the door, shitting/vomiting into it as she goes?
NoDecentHandlesLeft · 20/10/2021 17:02

Doesn't leaving a door unlocked invalidate your insurance if you get burgled?

BlueberrySugar · 20/10/2021 17:03

I don't get peoples issue with the DP doing a silly dance. He was probably trying to lighten the mood with his kids. The act his age comments are bit Confused.

Oh, I forgot you can't mess about with your children on MN.

2Two · 20/10/2021 17:03

@Morgan12

Did you think someone would walk into your house whilst you were in the bathroom?

I mean he should have taken the keys yes but I think you're being rather theatrical with the door needing to be locked.

Are you seriously contending that burglars don't take advantage of unlocked doors? What world are you living in?
AutumnLeafy · 20/10/2021 17:03

He's going to have to get used to using a door when you have baby as you're going to be napping/out for walls etc.