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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have left them outside for 10 minutes

488 replies

Notoday · 20/10/2021 15:29

I'm a few days away from having a cesarian. I'm having to take some suppressant medication that makes me poorly, so that's fun. I've spent the last week between the bed and the bathroom.

My partner who lives with me went to collect his kids from school and bring them here but he didn't take his keys with him as usual thus leaving the door unlocked.

Naturally if I'm stuck on the toilet or vomiting into a bowl I'm not going to want to leave my door unlocked as I live on a main road, so I locked it until he gets back.

Typically they arrive back when I'm stuck in the bathroom. I couldn't do much about that unfortunately so they had to wait 10 minutes or so until I was able to go and let them in.

DP comes in doing a silly dance saying how much he's bursting for a wee and his youngest DC is majorly pissed off about having to wait outside for so long.

WIBU to have locked the door and made them wait as opposed to leaving the toilet to open the door? Confused

OP posts:
LaDamaDeElche · 22/10/2021 07:05

@ButYouGottaHaveASkillJeff

I don't get the 'I never take my key if I know someone is in' comments. Quite entitled. I literally never leave the house without my keys, it's ingrained. Even if I'm nipping to the shops. Never mind a chance burglary, what if that person in the house was called out to an emergency?

Totally with you OP. Some comments on this are just bizarre.

Me either. I always take my keys with me.
AccidentallyOnPurpose · 22/10/2021 07:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Quotes deleted post

thelonghaul · 23/10/2021 10:01

Nope not BU and given the state you're currently in your DP is showing a stupendous lack of consideration. Also doesn't bode well for the future if he's allowing his kids to blame you for situations he created.

mumda · 23/10/2021 10:16

I hope the OP is well and feeling lots better.

People should really always take their door key with them.
Add a post-it note to the back of the door "Take your key" ?

Explosivefarts · 23/10/2021 14:05

@Pallisers I have learning disabilities actually . How very ableist of you. Do often discriminate against people with disabilities? Does that make you feel better about yourself. Must be awful going through life being an ableist ? Your family must be ashamed of you . Hugs

CaptSkippy · 23/10/2021 14:15

@maybloss2

Hi op, how about owning this? Perhaps you could say to your partner don’t expect me to leave the door unlocked if you are out, if I’m busy I don’t want to be worried about getting robbed and , I’m fed up with being your parent. You’re an adult please remember your keys. Im sure if you could have you would have opened the door, but for people to say that you should have dragged your loose bowelsdown the stairs is ridiculous… I have a thing here too I feel safer with the door locked,particularly if I’m on my own, mainly cos I’have really bad hearing but also cos I’m a Londoner and used to needing to be secure. I don’t live in London right now and my partner can’t understand it. But he’s a bloke so doesn’t get the constant level of risk we women live with.
Why should this even need saying? Any adult with a half a brain would practice basic home security. Even worse is the idea that an adult man would need to be reminded to act like an adult.

Such a turn off.

Explosivefarts · 23/10/2021 14:21

Thanks to Mumsnet for deleting the ableists comment . Sad that people think they can get away with such discrimination in 2021.

TirednWorried · 23/10/2021 15:41

Yabu. The risk from having the door unlocked afew minutes when you are in the house is infinitesimal. It was selfish

Youseethethingis · 23/10/2021 15:43

HE WAS GONE FOR AN HOUR

AnnieSnap · 23/10/2021 17:29

@TirednWorried

Yabu. The risk from having the door unlocked afew minutes when you are in the house is infinitesimal. It was selfish
That’s rubbish 🙄
Americano75 · 23/10/2021 18:30

Fuck me OP, I feel bad for some of the ridiculous comments you've had flung at you. Hope you're feeling better and have a safe, happy birth.

pelosi · 23/10/2021 18:46

@Explosivefarts

Thanks to Mumsnet for deleting the ableists comment . Sad that people think they can get away with such discrimination in 2021.
You still haven’t explained how OP’s attitude is horrible to hee children…

Conveniently side stepping the question are you?

pelosi · 23/10/2021 18:46

*her step child

Reallyimeanreally2022 · 23/10/2021 20:18

I would put money on the OP not doing this in same scenario
But her children

Explosivefarts · 23/10/2021 20:22

@pelosi you are right I didn’t answer I was so upset by the discrimination.

washerdrier · 23/10/2021 20:31

Not taking keys is really selfish. My ex used to do this. It felt like his inconvenience at having to take keys trumped my inconvenience at letting him back in.

So no long baths, difficult poos, naps, teams meetings.. one memorable time I was making pizza dough and had to walk through the house dropping bits then open the door with dough covered hands.

It selfish and childish. And even more so when your partner is likely to be sick

Pandaly · 23/10/2021 20:51

@Explosivefarts

Your attitude towards your stepchildren is horrible
What a weird comment!

OP Yanbu. You were feeling vulnerable and could have reasonably expected him to remember his keys. You could have had to leave the house in an emergency for all he knows.

Onairjunkie · 23/10/2021 21:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Onairjunkie · 23/10/2021 21:10

Your.

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 23/10/2021 21:18

[quote Explosivefarts]@pelosi you are right I didn’t answer I was so upset by the discrimination.[/quote]
Maybe next time think of this thread before you post upsetting comments to others?

Explosivefarts · 23/10/2021 21:25

@AccidentallyOnPurpose saying someone has a bad attitude is not the same as discriminating someone with disabilities. We have the power to change our attitudes.

Onairjunkie · 23/10/2021 21:33

[quote Explosivefarts]@AccidentallyOnPurpose saying someone has a bad attitude is not the same as discriminating someone with disabilities. We have the power to change our attitudes.[/quote]
😂 well my comment didn’t last long.

The thing is @Explosivefarts you’ve not quantified your comment and have repeatedly ignored requests for you to do so, so I think it’s fair to say you just wanted to be unpleasant to the OP for the sake of it, or to make yourself feel better, or perhaps for attention. Which is a bit pathetic really, isn’t it?

woodhill · 23/10/2021 21:54

@washerdrier

Not taking keys is really selfish. My ex used to do this. It felt like his inconvenience at having to take keys trumped my inconvenience at letting him back in.

So no long baths, difficult poos, naps, teams meetings.. one memorable time I was making pizza dough and had to walk through the house dropping bits then open the door with dough covered hands.

It selfish and childish. And even more so when your partner is likely to be sick

Yes it sounds like a control thing that you have to drop everything to accommodate them
AnnieSnap · 23/10/2021 22:00

[quote Explosivefarts]@AccidentallyOnPurpose saying someone has a bad attitude is not the same as discriminating someone with disabilities. We have the power to change our attitudes.[/quote]
Being disabled doesn’t give anyone free licence to be unpleasant to others though does it? Disability doesn’t excuse a bad attitude!

MissTrip82 · 23/10/2021 22:19

Hahahahhahaa I'm absolutely loving the 'haven't locked my door since 1972 which is entirely reasonable, wise and safe' brigade.

Definitely not talking out of their arses for effect.