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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have left them outside for 10 minutes

488 replies

Notoday · 20/10/2021 15:29

I'm a few days away from having a cesarian. I'm having to take some suppressant medication that makes me poorly, so that's fun. I've spent the last week between the bed and the bathroom.

My partner who lives with me went to collect his kids from school and bring them here but he didn't take his keys with him as usual thus leaving the door unlocked.

Naturally if I'm stuck on the toilet or vomiting into a bowl I'm not going to want to leave my door unlocked as I live on a main road, so I locked it until he gets back.

Typically they arrive back when I'm stuck in the bathroom. I couldn't do much about that unfortunately so they had to wait 10 minutes or so until I was able to go and let them in.

DP comes in doing a silly dance saying how much he's bursting for a wee and his youngest DC is majorly pissed off about having to wait outside for so long.

WIBU to have locked the door and made them wait as opposed to leaving the toilet to open the door? Confused

OP posts:
TheChip · 21/10/2021 16:01

Yes. It would only be an emergency situation that the person at home would have to leave anyway. In that case, the door would remain unlocked.

Youseethethingis · 21/10/2021 16:17

Ah now it makes sense. Thieves will know not to burgle the house because you are already having an emergency Smile

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 21/10/2021 16:23

This thread is hilarious. I felt bad for OP last night, but given the ridiculousness and stubbornness of some posters in trying to make her in the "wrong" it's become more of a competition for the Darwin award.

TheChip · 21/10/2021 16:28

@Youseethethingis

Ah now it makes sense. Thieves will know not to burgle the house because you are already having an emergency Smile
If they can get past the dogs then they're welcome to it Smile
NormanStangerson · 21/10/2021 17:07

@AccidentallyOnPurpose

This thread is hilarious. I felt bad for OP last night, but given the ridiculousness and stubbornness of some posters in trying to make her in the "wrong" it's become more of a competition for the Darwin award.
Hasn’t it just? I might make a suggestion that some of the ones being nasty to OP have a bit of a name change…
Harleyband · 21/10/2021 17:40

I live in a very safe place. We still always lock our doors. This thread is unbelievable. OP, you did nothing wrong. Your DP and DSS had to wait because he forgot his keys. End of.

How helpless does Mumsnet think men are that they can't be expected to remember to take their keys and can't be expected to wait 10 minutes for their pregnant wife to get out off the toilet and let them in???

2Two · 21/10/2021 17:43

@KoreyBay18

If I knew someone was at home and would be home til I get back, I wouldn't worry about taking my keys, YABU to have locked him out.
Even if you knew that they would, for good reason, want to lock the door for safety, and that they were ill? Do you really feel that is considerate behaviour?
2Two · 21/10/2021 17:44

@TheChip

Yes. It would only be an emergency situation that the person at home would have to leave anyway. In that case, the door would remain unlocked.
Either you don't care about your house or your possessions, or you live somewhere incredibly safe where this would not be an extremely stupid thing to do. Either way, it's irrelevant to OP's situation.
TheChip · 21/10/2021 17:54

@2two it's a safe area. A break in is not something I worry about. My situation is obviously different from the OP. After hearing about their area, I'd also make sure my doors were locked if I lived there.
My first comment has been brought up, which is what I'm responding to.

Christinatherabbit · 21/10/2021 18:20

I don't really understand the point of this post. To be honest he probably should have taken his key (but as he knew you were there thought you would open the door so didn't bother) Honestly the chances of someone happening to try their luck at that very exact moment is so unlikely so although having lived most of my life in a particularly deprived part of London I understand the concern it seems a bit silly to be that overly cautious. After spending parts of all 5 of my pregnancys poorly to the degree I had to learn to do Housework whilst vomiting into a bowl or running from upstairs to downstairs toilet with a bad tummy I totally get the issue, I also would have been pretty annoyed to be standing on the street for 10 mins to get into my house so don't really know who is unreasonable here. It was an unfortunate thing that's finished now. I sense a bit of weirdness towards your partners DS though which probably needs addressing more than the forgotten key

Hertsgirl10 · 21/10/2021 18:32

Anyone that’s ready this obviously knows that YANBU.

People love to be controversial and try to upset others, I thought by this point in time that the nasty comments would have stopped on MN as they’ve all left to go and troll every celebrity they can think of, on Tattle. Seems like it must have been a slow day, maybe mrs hinch had a day off or something so they came back here yesterday 😂

Hope you’re feeling ok OP. And there’s no way I would leave my door open, especially in your area and anyone that says they would are lying or having been to catford or any other rough areas in London.

hotmeatymilk · 21/10/2021 18:42

After spending parts of all 5 of my pregnancys poorly to the degree I had to learn to do Housework whilst vomiting into a bowl
Gutting that the No1 Martyr award was already handed out on this thread yesterday, next time try shitting yourself while doing DIY.

Christinatherabbit · 21/10/2021 18:58

@hotmeatymilk

After spending parts of all 5 of my pregnancys poorly to the degree I had to learn to do Housework whilst vomiting into a bowl Gutting that the No1 Martyr award was already handed out on this thread yesterday, next time try shitting yourself while doing DIY.
Haha so you normally only read part of a reply before trying to be clever (ignoring the fact I was trying to be sympathetic as have totally been there and it's utterly hideous or do we ignore the fact we are giving our opinion based on the fact we have been there literally) But give yourself an award (for trying to be) the most witty and bitchy on the thread 🤣👍grow up
Pippy1900 · 21/10/2021 19:00

He should have taken his keys. You are entitled to do whatever you feel comfortable with. Maybe next time he will remember to lock the door and take his keys!

Flatwhitetostayin · 21/10/2021 19:01

First of all, I am sorry to hear you have been poorly. D&V whilst heavily pregnant is literally shit. You have my full sympathies.

Secondly, I hope that being locked out for 10 minutes has been a good lesson in consequences to your partner. I can't for a second believe that an adult would forget their keys that much. He clearly does it on purpose - for whatever reason.

You were totally and utterly not being unreasonable to lock the door. I live in a city centre location and there is a really high incidence of criminals just trying their luck with doors. Had you left your door unlocked and got burgled, the same people who are saying ywbu for locking it, would not doubt be saying ywbu for leaving it open.

What if you had had to leave the house in an emergency? He would have been locked out for longer than 10 minutes!

hotmeatymilk · 21/10/2021 19:19

@Christinatherabbit I read your whole post, if you mean the one where you said you didn’t understand the point of the post (undermining the OP), her “over”caution “seems a bit silly” (minimising), you’re not sure who’s unreasonable (how is this sympathising with her?), claimed you got the issue but matched her inability to get off the loo with you cracking on with the hoover and a vomit nosebag, then finished off with an accusation that she’s weird to the stepson when she’s been nothing but nice on this thread.

Hope you never sympathise with me…

MollyMinniesMum · 21/10/2021 19:20

Believe me, you don’t need to give step children any more reason to hate / resent you. How would you have felt had roles been reversed? If you’re trying to score points at this stage you’re not going to cope well with a new baby frankly

Original poster
Notoday · 21/10/2021 19:31

@MollyMinniesMum

Believe me, you don’t need to give step children any more reason to hate / resent you. How would you have felt had roles been reversed? If you’re trying to score points at this stage you’re not going to cope well with a new baby frankly
Whaaaaat?! 🤯🤯🤯
OP posts:
JennyForeigner · 21/10/2021 19:33

If you're a few days away from a caesarean you go anything you damn like.

Isaidnomorecrisps · 21/10/2021 19:59

You were entirely reasonable in everything you did. It doesn’t sound kind, that’s the only thing. He’s an idiot and should have apologised but you’re putting him down quite a bit. As he seemed to do to you with the dance. Both things you’d usually just forget, have a cup of tea and move on absent MN. It made me sad given you’re both about to have a baby - but probably just that endless frazzled (and for you ill too) last week. Hope all goes well.

DriftingBlue · 21/10/2021 20:00

@Geamhradh

Yes he should have taken his keys, no you shouldn't have leapt up and gone running. But you do sound a bit like you think being about to give birth makes you a bit unique. And there's no need to be arsey with people on here.
Pregnancy makes every woman unique because every woman experiences it differently. If you have only had healthy pregnancies you really have no idea what it can be like.
billy1966 · 21/10/2021 20:11

OP,

Hid this thread and ignore it, you need to be minding yourself not raise your blood pressure at some of the ridiculous posts on here.

Flowers
Derbee · 21/10/2021 20:16

Fuck, the world here is mad. A grown arse adult shouldn’t need to take house keys when they go out. A heavily pregnant woman needs to run up and down, on/off the loo to let the grown arse adult in because said adult didn’t take their keys AGAIN. Ffs

Derbee · 21/10/2021 20:17

Ooops, meant to say a grown arse adult shouldn’t need to be told to take keys

TheVampiresWife · 21/10/2021 20:48

@MollyMinniesMum

Believe me, you don’t need to give step children any more reason to hate / resent you. How would you have felt had roles been reversed? If you’re trying to score points at this stage you’re not going to cope well with a new baby frankly
On a thread full of absolute knackers, this post shines out like a shitbeacon.

Have my first ever 'Are you on glue?' (and I've been here since it were all fields)