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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how all you parents do it?

183 replies

alreadyfrazzled · 19/10/2021 17:43

We are a currently childless couple who work full time with a dog. We have a cleaner once a week for 3 hours - she does a lot of dusting but I still have to clean shower after her etc so not a full job.

Today I was flat out WFH (without a commute) - I barely had time for a shower, but my job isn't even particularly crazy hours - it's 5:30 and I'm done today.

Even though cleaner came today, I've still had to do more dishes, cleaned the fridge and taking more recycling out just now. Off to walk the dog for his third walk just now and will be back and barely have time to cook before a reasonable time.

How do you working parents do it? We want TTC soon and I'm honestly scared? Does time magically stretch to accomodate the extra tasks of being a parent? Do you have to get up at 5am every day? Does no one have a pet??

OP posts:
OwlinaTree · 19/10/2021 17:44

Well, I can't remember the last time I cleaned my fridge....

Hankunamatata · 19/10/2021 17:46

People clean fridges..........

Stokey · 19/10/2021 17:47

Why doesn't your cleaner clean the shower? Bit odd. Maybe you need to have them do an extra hour or set out her jobs.

Thetrainisinthestation · 19/10/2021 17:47

You have one and realise things fit in (normally by lowering standards elsewhere)
Then you wonder how any parents manage to have two kids and then three

Hankunamatata · 19/10/2021 17:47

Only joking op. You do it because you do it because you dont have a choice once kids arrive. 1 kids minimal chaos each one then adds a new level of crazy Grin

TimeForTeaAndG · 19/10/2021 17:48

We have a dishwasher, tumble dryer, DH and I have a proper 50/50 split of the housework... We have a dog.

We do get help from my dad and DH's mum because logistics just don't line up sometimes with his shifts, DD's sport and my work.

megletthesecond · 19/10/2021 17:48

Never cleaned the fridge. Cutlery sits there for 2/3 days until I do it.

HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 19/10/2021 17:49

As per PPs, you lower standards, buy more help or give up on sleep.

I remember reading someone's cleaning routine on here and they washed down all the walls in every room every week. I've never washed down a wall outside or prepping it for painting. I barely get round to one lot of washing up a day, and there are some days I wonder when I last saw the carpet in DDs room.

Anyway, had my 10 minutes to eat dinner, off to join a conference call till 7.30pm 😂

Pat123dev · 19/10/2021 17:49

Your priorities will change. It just evolves.
I wonder wtf I did with one newborn, now have 3 young kids now and the fridge gets cleaned when it starts walking off.....

nancybotwinbloom · 19/10/2021 17:50

It just becomes part of your routine I dont know how but you just adapt and get it all done.

That's my experience anyway. I feel like I am winging it everyday.

Inastatus · 19/10/2021 17:50

Why does your dog need 3 walks a day? My lab only has one decent length walk.

SparklyLeprechaun · 19/10/2021 17:51

Surely you don't clean your fridge every day?

Basically it goes like this: get up about an hour before the kids, get things ready for the day, get kids ready for school/nursery, do the school run with the dog, go to work, finish work, pick up kids from afterschool care, cook, eat, walk the dog, put kids in bed, tidy up/do dishes/clean fridge/whatever.

Rinse and repeat the next day.

Classicblunder · 19/10/2021 17:51

I have never owned a pet but I am surprised that your dog needs three walks a day. That would be difficult with children as well.

I don't mean this in a snarky way but being that tired after a normal length WFH day and cleaning the fridge maybe suggests a medical issue

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 19/10/2021 17:52

You need to lower your standards.

Buy brightly coloured plates and cups so they look pretty piled up in the sink.

Ditto with clothes.

Sometimes I take my glasses off so I can’t see the state of the carpet.

Knockoneofftheshelftowin · 19/10/2021 17:52

I don't have the answer but unless you live in a mansion, your cleaner should definitely be cleaning the shower.
I am a cleaner and can get a lot done in 3 hours.

I hope someone else can advise on the rest.

ponkydonkey · 19/10/2021 17:52

The dog loves going out with my kids...
She also understands that some days the garden is enough 😬

Honestly it evolves, but you'll just be very tired until menopause kicks in and they hopefully leave home 😂

LakeShoreD · 19/10/2021 17:53

Basically outsource but do it properly. For starters get a better cleaner! I don’t know how big your house is but 3 hours and still no time to clean the shower is completely ridiculous. I’m not a dog owner so know very little in this respect but 3 walks a day must be time consuming, can you get a dog walker so they get one long walk every day and you can just do short ones? My kids are FT at nursery/school, the baby gets 3 meals a day there, so they actually create very little mess except at weekends. As for cleaning the fridge, drop your standards a bit? I can’t actually remember the last time we did ours…
The most important thing though is a supportive partner that pulls their weight and does an equal share of all household stuff and childcare.

TheKeatingFive · 19/10/2021 17:53

Well dogs take up time!

Personally, my housework standards are low

I try to keep on top of basic kitchen/laundry during the week and that's it. Everything else waits til the weekend.

I have a repertoire of speedy means for weekdays. No more than 30 mins to table.

I have two dishwashers, which I find works really well (awaits flaming).

DH does his share.

CallMeRisley · 19/10/2021 17:54

Lower standards of house cleanliness for a few years. Priorities change.

Lulu2021 · 19/10/2021 17:54

*You need to lower your standards.

Buy brightly coloured plates and cups so they look pretty piled up in the sink.
*
😂 this is where I'm going wrong. I clearly need brightly coloured kitchenware...

Mammma91 · 19/10/2021 17:54

I have a 2yo DS, 2 pets and a full time, very demanding job. You just do it, you set your priorities and sort them first. Also TTC baby no 2. Its tough but manageable

SamMil · 19/10/2021 17:54

My fridge is cleaned maybe every 6 months. I don't do washing up (dishwasher!) and the dog gets walked when we have time.

Our cleaner does clean the showers though and only does 2 hours a week - maybe you should ask them to do it?

Atla · 19/10/2021 17:55

Half-assedGrin I only clean my fridge if my mum is going to be staying.

Why doesn't your cleaner do the shower? If you are cleaning after the cleaner has been then I'd say you need a new cleaner!

I hate housework but we all muck in and essential cleaning gets done. I would never get up at 5am unless going on holiday or something but if you are doing school/nursery run then you do have to be organised in the mornings.

WeAllHaveWings · 19/10/2021 17:55

You share the load equally and prioritise

If you haven't had time for a shower the fridge can wait for another day

(unless there has been a spontaneous explosion of bolognaise sauce in there!)

Salayes · 19/10/2021 17:55

What’s your partner doing after work while you do those tasks, take the dog for a walk and prep dinner?