To ask how all you parents do it?

[alreadyfrazzled]

We are a currently childless couple who work full time with a dog. We have a cleaner once a week for 3 hours - she does a lot of dusting but I still have to clean shower after her etc so not a full job.

Today I was flat out WFH (without a commute) - I barely had time for a shower, but my job isn't even particularly crazy hours - it's 5:30 and I'm done today.

Even though cleaner came today, I've still had to do more dishes, cleaned the fridge and taking more recycling out just now. Off to walk the dog for his third walk just now and will be back and barely have time to cook before a reasonable time.

How do you working parents do it? We want TTC soon and I'm honestly scared? Does time magically stretch to accomodate the extra tasks of being a parent? Do you have to get up at 5am every day? Does no one have a pet??

You learn to prioritise.

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon

You need to lower your standards.

Buy brightly coloured plates and cups so they look pretty piled up in the sink.

Ditto with clothes.

Sometimes I take my glasses off so I can’t see the state of the carpet.

This is fantastic stealing the plates idea 😂😂😂

It's tough, I have 2 children and a dog and we both work full time.
I leave at 7:10am rarely sit down before 8pm at night. We have a cleaner and dog walker and we try to make a few healthy dishes at the weekend which can be heated up quickly in the week.
I don't feel as though I have much time for myself but I also know it'll get easier as they get older.

What matters to you changes.
One parent often changes their workload to work less.
And there is an awful lot more tag teaming done. So one person will take baby out for a walk whilst the other does the foodshop. Then one person plays with them whilst the other person cleans the bathroom.
Then one person does their bed and bathtime whilst the other person cooks dinner.
Before kids my husband and i did a lot more things together-such as food shopping. These days that would feel highly inefficient!
You also with any luck get two years of them napping. Which is golden time!
Workouts may become more home based or outdoors based as a result because its quicker to keep to an hour then schlepping to the gym and back.
You'll be fine!
You live to your means in terms of time and money.

@SlamLikeAGuitar

Basically, my standards dropped massively and my priorities changed! I had 3 babies in 5 years, and up until very recently (DCs are at an age where things are slowly getting easier - only one in nappies now!) I lived by the mantra “everyone fed, no one dead”. As long as everyone had eaten 3 square meals, had clean clothes to wear and my house wasn’t a biohazard, then we were doing fine. I went back to work part time in august (evening work) now that DCs 1 & 2 are in school full time. DC3 is happy to potter about the house with me while I do all the necessary jobs during the day, then when DH gets home, I cook dinner and he takes over all the parenting/household stuff while I get into work mode. I give DC3 her last breastfeed of the day around 6:30pm then head off to work.

Everyone fed, no one dead

Amazing, I'm going to use this myself.

It is tiring, but there is no better feeling than going to bed having met everyone's basic needs

Good time management I think. I have teens and dog we all pitch in. Early years hard creche or minder. No family help. Think it helps where you work too. I worked til 6 but it was local and creche etc. I took time out when 2 at school as childcare was big cost

You also with any luck get two years of them napping. Which is golden time!
Please note you may get a sling napper, but this is ideal exercise time and your core will be lit af as you empty a dishwasher or put a wash on with a baby strapped to you. Nb. Don’t wear a sling over a jumpsuit if you want to wee. Some may tell you to vacuum when the baby sleeps to get them used to sleeping through noise, but really this means “my baby slept through noise therefore I vacuumed” and yours may hate the vacuum and so you must embrace what my friend’s toddler calls Crunchy Floor. Buy slippers, and don’t look down.

On maternity leave now with my first child. A little scared of going back to work but I think that for every month with my baby (now 7 months) you grow in confidence and efficiency. The first weeks and months your baby needs you every second of the day but after a while, when he starts sitting, you can put him down to play a little on his own. In terms of time management, we watch a lot less Netflix! Some tasks can be done with your baby in tow (like grocery shopping – get a stroller with generous space underneath). If you get a good nights sleep things are easy and if you don't it can be challenging. Many people I know have gone back to work after around 9 months when the mat allowance ends, plus some vacation days. At this point you will likely have introduced some solids which means more independence for you/your baby if you've been nursing before. Others can then help out and babysit/ nursery. I say all these things knowing that I personally will not go back to full-time for a while if I can. But if that's what you want/need you can make it happen it seems on the other comments. The only thing I really miss at the moment is finding time to do makeup and blowdrying my hair properly. Also struggle to do certain tasks where your baby can't tag along, like doing things on the computer. And yes, staying on top of washing up is our main challenge at home while certain other tasks I'm better at as I do it more efficiently now to stay on top of things (laundry, vacuum). First when we had our baby we lowered our cleaning standards a lot and even got paper plates but now I feel we are more on top of it. Also, some things that helped early on was to have friends sign up to bring over meals for us (using websites like "take them a meal"). In the end I'd just say, don't be scared and take one day at a time. Your ability to cope (hopefully) increases with your challenges. Also, about the dog – my baby naps 3 times especially when rocked so you might be able to make your dog walks the baby's stroller nap times?