To ask what it's like to not have to worry about money?

[dailydreamin]

I was chatting with my dh about winning the lotto (as you do) then it got us to thinking because we don't earn much really. What is it like to just have a really good wage (like 4-5k or more per month) and have no money worries?

I would love to just go food shopping without adding in my head. I would love to just be able to see the DC's shoes are getting tight and go and buy new shoes for them without stressing about what I will have to forgo.

So what is it really like? Is it like I think? Do you just NOT think about money at all? Do you just buy as you need (obviously everyone has their limits though) without thinking?

@familychallenge

I think something that isn't talked about is how much cheaper things are if you aren't struggling too. I've also been on both sides of this spectrum and I find it astonishing how much cheaper being wealthier is. I understand that people spend to their incomes but a lot of things are better- cheaper mortgage rates if you have lower ltv, cheap loans if I need them, cheaper to pay for things annually than monthly, cheaper to buy in bulk if you can store, no unexpected fees or punitive bank charges, free money from credit cards if you pay them off etc. Living hand to mouth is very expensive and small bills can tip you over the edge. It's horribly harsh.

@familychallenge

Yes this is an issue. It's called the poverty premium

eg I can drive to Costco, buy in bulk when items are on special offer, and store stuff in the garage

Someone else walks to the local shop (no competition to keep prices low), pays top whack at today's prices, can't afford bulk buys, no space to store extra supplies

@MyOtherProfile well I'm sure they can afford the interest! Plenty of wealthier people have mortgages, usually their expectations are higher and thus want more expensive houses, if I could easily and safely afford a mortgage on a £1million house that I loved (but couldn't buy upfront) I'd do that rather than buy a £200,000 house just because I could buy it mortgage free.

I could have a mortgage half the size of mine in a much smaller house, but borrowed what we were comfortable with to get a bigger house. It's relatively common for many families I'm sure!

Plus don't forget it's an investment, and with interest rates so low (for now) property prices are outstripping the cost of interest for many people with good equity.

Yes this is an issue. It's called the poverty premium

I thought the remark, 'I can't afford to be poor' was a throw away line. Over the years, I have understood what this really means as has been explained by a PP.

Also, 'dance today, tomorrow we might be dead' is a lot of people's view of money.

@MyOtherProfile @userchange987 Good question! What I mean by "virtually no debt" is that we have a couple of loans (on properties) purely for tax reasons (the corresponding cash is in the bank). Without going into too much detail, at this very low level of interest rates, the tax saving (due to the loan) more than offsets interest repayments (nb: this relates to assets outside of the UK subject to a different tax regime)

I have lived hand to mouth for a long time as a single parent in the past.

I am now in a much more secure position financially and don't have to worry about being able to afford the basics and have a reasonable amount of disposable income.

However, in the same time period of becoming more comfortable financially I have scrolled various chronic illnesses which have limited my life way more than not having money ever did. I can't spend my money on nice things, and holidays, and going out as I can't do any of those things.

Obviously it's better being chronically ill with money than without it. As that would double the things to worry about. But if I had the choice between the two I'd rather have no money and have my health.

So sorry @ParkheadParadise , prayers

Here's a quote by the excellent Terry Pratchett on the poverty premium, it's absolutely true.
'The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money.

Take boots, for example. He earned thirty-eight dollars a month plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of OK for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars. Those were the kind of boots Vimes always bought, and wore until the soles were so thin that he could tell where he was in Ankh-Morpork on a foggy night by the feel of the cobbles.

But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that'd still be keeping his feet dry in ten years' time, while the poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.

This was the Captain Samuel Vimes 'Boots' theory of socioeconomic unfairness'

Op, we had our life timing all wrong and were hit badly in the credit crunch, just had a baby down to one wage and dh job in trouble.

What I did that really helped was budget and pin down every penny, got loads of stuff for free. We set up strategy where evry penny accounted for.
It made it slightly less stressful. As dh now earns more and I'm back at work, money still gets filtered and filed away. Each pot just gets more. It's helped to ease the worry because everything has an amount and we saved for bday, Xmas, car fund.

To those that have had those worries but are now living under better circumstances, how did you do it? Was it a case of career progression and opportunities or even simply just some good luck?*
*
Further education, post graduate training, and extremely hard slog. But yes, there's an element of luck involved also.

For me it was a complete career change. I did a law conversion part time and qualified as a solicitor when I was 31. I’m now earning really well. Buckets of luck involves though - I landed a city training contract under a scheme to encourage less wealthy applicants. Wouldn’t have got in normally with my a levels. Then in my current job I was lucky that my boss moved on just at the right moment and I got a bit promotion.

The wonderful Sir Terry Pratchett sums it up so well:

"The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money.

Take boots, for example. He earned thirty-eight dollars a month plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of OK for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars. Those were the kind of boots Vimes always bought, and wore until the soles were so thin that he could tell where he was in Ankh-Morpork on a foggy night by the feel of the cobbles.

But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that'd still be keeping his feet dry in ten years' time, while the poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.

This was the Captain Samuel Vimes 'Boots' theory of socioeconomic unfairness."

We are struggling like fuck with money and it is draining the life out of me.

@BeautifulandWilfulandDead great minds!

I’m really grateful we don’t need to worry about money but as some other posters have said - we’ve made life decisions that might not suit everybody.

Not everyone wants to spend 10+ years working 60+ hour weeks (we both have).
Not everyone is comfortable putting their child in full time childcare, 10 hours a day from age 1 (we did).
Not everyone is comfortable with their child being at school 8+ hours a day (ours is).
Lots of people want the flexibility to take their child to clubs after school, arrange play dates, take all or most of the school holidays off etc. We don’t have that flex.

I think we made the right choices for us. Might have been different if dd had SEN or other concerns or even just a different personality though so I recognise we’re fortunate.

Our net income is above the amounts in the OP. So we are definitely comfortable and very fortunate.
Any money pressures are entirely down to our own choices e.g. we chose to educate our DC privately. We had a mortgage free property but decided to move to a different part of London and rent out our other house so we now have, by London standards, a modest mortgage. We don't live an extravagant life out of choice because we are focussing on other financial priorities. We do work hard and I chose a well paying field but we are also lucky. There has definitely been an element of right place at the right time.
I do still think about money because I am a planner by instinct so I tend to set goals and plan for future commitments - I am fortunate to be able to do so.
So what difference does not having to worry about money make. For me, the main thing is the headspace it frees up. I can think about other things because once I have done the financial planning for the month it just runs by itself. I save 1/12 of annual bills each month so when a the house insurance is due I stick it on my CC for the rewards and pay it off in full when the CC is due.
I am not thinking about how I get to the end of the month, I am not worrying about school uniform or the fridge breaking and that frees up thinking space.

Once the mortgage and school fees are finished in a couple of years we will have enough passive income to cover our basic living expenses and that is a truly liberating thought.
I feel the real luxury of not worrying about money isn't about splurging on expensive things, its about choice - to know if you have a lousy boss you can leave - if you want to take 6 months off to travel you can - if your DC need some help you can support them.

If you experienced real poverty as a child the fear never leaves you despite whatever you earn. So these people never stop worrying about money. If you grow up rich you never worrying about money, even if you have none, because you have an in built belief that it will be OK.
Of the others, most expand expenditure to meet income so still have concerns. But all the evidence is that money is always going to be you main concern in life if you can not house yourself and feed and pay living bills for yourself and family and still have around the equivalent of 10 hours of thats' society minimum wage to spend. So in Ireland it would be around 100 a week after all expenses. That doesn't mean you wouldn't worry etc, it means it would not be all consuming. Below that it is absolutely all consuming and is exceptionally stressful.

@dameofdilemma

I’m really grateful we don’t need to worry about money but as some other posters have said - we’ve made life decisions that might not suit everybody.

Not everyone wants to spend 10+ years working 60+ hour weeks (we both have).
Not everyone is comfortable putting their child in full time childcare, 10 hours a day from age 1 (we did).
Not everyone is comfortable with their child being at school 8+ hours a day (ours is).
Lots of people want the flexibility to take their child to clubs after school, arrange play dates, take all or most of the school holidays off etc. We don’t have that flex.

I think we made the right choices for us. Might have been different if dd had SEN or other concerns or even just a different personality though so I recognise we’re fortunate.

For some people that isn't a choice FFS, you can work like that and still just manage to get buy if you are in low paid work! And some people even have to do it with kids with SEN - its outrageous to suggest that hard work always equals no money worries or that if you are short of money its your own fault. Congratulations on having choices!

DH and I now have very good combined salaries. We can buy food and essentials, very luckily, without worrying- though I still buy supermarket own brand things and keep an eye on prices because I think you should never throw money away foolishly.

However, I grew up with unemployment in our home, was a recipient of FSM at one stage, and my DPs were TERRIBLE with money, so always in thousands of debt and fretting about money. Consequently, I’m always very worried about it.

We’ve just bought a house, but I’m now keen to get saving hard again for a rainy day, and we do not have credit cards, loans (aside from mortgage) or cars on finance. I know how it can all vanish in an instant; I hope I never take it for granted.

At one point in my twenties I was doing food shopping for my DPs. They often had to be bailed out by my DGM. It’s made me paranoid and anxious about money. We are lucky in that we can treat DS and do nice things, but the fear has never left me- and I hope it doesn’t, to be honest.