To ask what it's like to not have to worry about money?

[dailydreamin]

I was chatting with my dh about winning the lotto (as you do) then it got us to thinking because we don't earn much really. What is it like to just have a really good wage (like 4-5k or more per month) and have no money worries?

I would love to just go food shopping without adding in my head. I would love to just be able to see the DC's shoes are getting tight and go and buy new shoes for them without stressing about what I will have to forgo.

So what is it really like? Is it like I think? Do you just NOT think about money at all? Do you just buy as you need (obviously everyone has their limits though) without thinking?

It is a massive relief.

I grew up in poverty and every year new school uniform was a strain, school shoes unaffordable, asking for credit in the local shop etc.

DH and I have a combined take home a bit over £5k and whilst we aren’t rolling in money as we have childcare costs and a bigish mortgage on a fairly ordinary house, food costs, clothing costs, and bills for us and the kids are no concern.

Our energy bill has gone up by £70 a month. For my mum we’d have been in despair. We had meters and we’re always on emergency and power went off regularly. For us it’s a bit inconvenient - maybe I won’t spend so much on my hobby - otherwise it’s no impact.

I never look at prices in the supermarket and I buy what I want. However we don’t have extravagant holidays or fancy branded clothing or cars etc.

To be honest it’s what I hoped for - I never wanted to be rich - I just didn’t want to worry so I’m very content.

Agree with @PooWillyNameChange about thinking about how fortunate I am when filling the car!

That reminds me… my lower earning husband thinks I’m crackers because I have £300 of points on a supermarket loyalty card. I don’t spend them - they’re just in case they’re ever the only money I have for food. I know that sounds neurotic, and I’m not as on edge as that might sound. More quietly calm that you never know, and it’s better to keep them - just in case.

We have a nice lifestyle.
It's one less worry as people say.

We kind of do what we want, when we want but never to excess. Our mortgage is paid and we have largish assets.
I do worry about money though, in that we have the responsibility of paying other people's wages. If the our (Ltd company) business fails and we go bankrupt, which could still happen ref covid, our home, assets and savings are protected. However the people who work for us have families and mortgages they won't be able to support, and there won't be anything to cover redundancy. So I very much worry about the responsibility of money.

Most people just adjust their spending and expectations until their income is not quite enough to let them do what they want.

I remember seeing a survey which said that if you asked people how much income they needed to be comfortable, just about everyone named a figure 30% higher than what they had, regardless of their current level.

Those people getting £5k a month don't feel all that comfortable. Now if they could only clamber up to £7k they'd be ok.

The other side of that calculation is that there are a lot of people earning less than you, and thinking if they could only have an income like yours all their problems would be solved, and wondering why you're being so greedy!

I've scrimped all my life until very recently. Partner and I are in our mid 40's and both came from really poor backgrounds. It's mind blowing and a bit scary (I think I'll always have the mentality of needing to be frugal) to have the choice and freedom and not fret over every bill and unexpected cost and to think about the future in a different way. I'm still adjusting.

I still check the bank balance daily and will do so forever as I need to know what's come out and what is due but I've upped the food budget which is a lovely thing to be able to do, and overpay credit card repayments which I could never afford to do, ever.

I have to consciously let go whenever I get uptight about money and remind myself it's (finally) ok.

I had about a year of feeling rich after my dad died and I had some money from the sale of his house. I still have a few thousand left but am back to a strict budget. I loved it. I booked a holiday and replaced my car. I spent most of it on house repairs that I couldn't afford before. I bought useful things like a decent coat/ waterproofs/ walking boots that will hopefully last.Life feels like there are more options when you have money.

I earn well and so does DH but money can’t buy happiness - we were unable to have kids. Our money is therefore ours alone (although we are generous with godkids, wider family meals, and charities)

We are not millionaires, far far from it, but comfortable.

One thing I will say is that the expenses somehow grow to meet the income - higher mortgage, car payments, etc so the cash isn’t as ‘free’ as it might be. We do enjoy our nice holidays as I still suffer from periods of depression about my infertility so I try and balance it out by doing things we couldn’t necessarily do if we were ‘child free’. Therefore holidays are also a significant expense per year.

My job is stressful but I’m trying to put a decent chunk away each year into my pension and also company share save in the hope I can retire from corporate life in my mid 50s

i am fortunate to not have had to worry about money for a couple of years. I earn much much less than the £4000 you state though

@arethereanyleftatall

It's nice. One less thing to worry about.

It's not 1 less thing to worry about.....it's hundreds... We've been relatively poor (not absolute poverty but relative) and it is tiring, boring, at times demeaning, stressful....

I can still remember the first time I went to a supermarket and realised I didn't have to mentally add up everything I put in my basket. It was strange and then exhilarating. I don't think I've ever got over it completely. I am so grateful.

We're not 4-5k more like 3-4. Don't have a big house and don't run a car or go on big holidays. we live well within our means I think because I am so cautious of how quickly things can unravel. I got very good at budgeting when I needed to and never lost the skill.

I feel very very privileged to not have to worry about all the things OP me timed and am not panicking at thought of fuel prices going up or interest rates increasing. We can cope with a significant increase to our outgoings. Although may have to start budgeting more consciously again ...

I don't have to worry about money and can buy whatever I want at the supermarket. We paid off our mortgage 15 years ago and have decent investments. I could afford a fancy car, the latest phone and expensive holidays but I don't actually indulge very often, I am still frugal in many ways, perhaps that's why I have no money worries?

You see I don't think I could ever move. We are lucky in ways that we do own our house but only because my parents died when I was young and I inherited my deposit. We own a three bed terrace (with a mortgage!) but it's in a nice little village with a very good school. So I wouldn't move for sure!! But as I own I obviously have the added worry of keeping the house. I worry about the boiler, a leak etc although fingers crossed all good so far.
And yes food and fuel bills (filling the car with dread also)
Maybe things will change but I don't see that happening as the other side of little village means very few jobs.

@Cocomarine

Agree with *@PooWillyNameChange* about thinking about how fortunate I am when filling the car!

That reminds me… my lower earning husband thinks I’m crackers because I have £300 of points on a supermarket loyalty card. I don’t spend them - they’re just in case they’re ever the only money I have for food. I know that sounds neurotic, and I’m not as on edge as that might sound. More quietly calm that you never know, and it’s better to keep them - just in case.

You probably know better than me especially if you're already doing well with your finances. But that £300 is losing value every day especially with inflation. It would probably be better investing it somewhere and keeping it separate as a food fund.

So spending it now and investing the money you saved by spending the points instead.

So sorry to hear that. Glioblastoma?

I've been in both camps too, a few years ago a house sale fell through at the last minute and running two houses crippled me financially and i really struggled. It was so stressful. Thankfully now I am in a much better position and have a decent amount of income left over each month to enjoy myself with.

I grew up poor enough and it's stood to me, I've been saving out of my wages since I started working (even tiny amounts) and I always have an eye on my bank balance. I have savings now but don't consider it spending money unless an emergency.

In summary anyway it's really nice not to have to add everything up in your head doing the grocery shop. I'm waiting for fibroid surgery at the moment and am spending a fortune on sanitary pads, painkillers, iron supplements, doctors etc while waiting so it's a total relief to be able to afford that without worrying.

We earn £5k a month but I would not describe us as "worry free" about money at all. I worry about money all the time, we don't have to worry about our next meal or bills so I totally recognise we are in a privileged position, but I'm very worried about interest rate rises (mortgage is £1000 currently) I plan our money very carefully, it's not like I can just buy what I want without thinking about it (which to me is complete money freedom).

We have had varying incomes over the years from 100% benefits in the early years, through to high childcare bills and to where we are now. I think when you've had to watch every penny that habit never really leaves you, you adjust to the new income and in my case always want a bit more.

@Porfre thanks for the comment. I do really really know that though 🙂 right now I save 50% of my take home pay into a private pension on top of a really good occupational pension. I also do share save at work, have ISAs, and all my liquid emergency money saves me money every day by being in an offset mortgage account.

Yes, I could make that £300 “work” elsewhere. I could pay it into my pension tomorrow for lower tax relief (I’m maxed on higher) for example.

It’s not the point though. The point is, despite my financial knowledge and walking the talk on those, there is still the part of me that counted pennies in the supermarket and thinks - one day you could be glad you have food money on a card.

I don’t need to worry about it being eroded. I have 1000x that amount in my emergency “easy access” fund. But I will always be the woman who missed meals because I couldn’t afford to eat.

Honestly I think you need to ask people who’ve never had money worries because once you have I think it really sticks with you.

It’s probably been 7/8years for me since I had any, but I still subconsciously feel anxious opening my banking app. I still habitually count the shopping in my head. I still have a moment of panic that my card will decline if the machine takes too long.

It’s really hard to shake, I’m very grateful that those feelings aren’t logical but just emotional for me now.

We take home over £10k a month and our living costs are £4K a month so we’re in a very fortunate position.

I do think about money, but I don’t worry. It’s lovely.

Funnily enough, I was thinking about this yesterday. I happened upon a lovely shop that I hadn’t been to before that sells really lovely artisan food and household items. I popped everything I wanted into my basket, picked up a few treats for various people. It came to £85.

I was thinking about super wealthy people who could probably go to a Ferrari dealership and just pick out as many cars as they want, and how they wouldn’t get as much pleasure from it as I do with my ability to saunter around a nice shop and fill my basket with olives and nice homemade soaps.

I remember about twelve years ago when we were on the bones of our arses and my debit card got declined in Lidl because of insufficient funds. My shop was only about £20 but I had to leave it.

I completely appreciate where I am now.

Timeforabiscuit sorry to hear about your dh. That is devastating

IME, a fair proportion or those on much more than£5k a month then become quite judgmental about the poor, benefits claimants and so on. They also become quite concerned that 'we cant pay what we don't earn' as a country. Quite certain that their success is down to their hard work.
Tend to have temporary amnensia, such as during 2008 and 2020, when losses need to get socialised for the 'good of the country' then back to usual service.

I grew up in a poor household.
Had dd1 very young and worried about money constantly.

I now live in a very affluent area. Have a beautiful house fancy car in the driveway don't have any money worries and can spend on anything I like.
I would go back to my house in the council estate and be skint again in a heartbeat if I could have my dd back. Money doesn't buy happiness. I am grateful for the life I have thanks to dh but money isn't everything.

I am in the position you talk about. I buy all organic food because I can, I don’t have to think about it. Food costs whatever food costs. I buy whatever we need, whenever we need it, like clothes and shoes, toiletries etc. I’ve had laser hair removal. I’ve had liposuction.

However I am not a complete twat. I am really tight in a lot of ways. Like I won’t spend more than £40 on a pair of shoes for myself. And I shop at next, because it actually lasts. But I also shop at H&M and DP because I like their clothes. I use voucher codes, I get cashback on everything.

So no, we don’t have to worry about money, but that doesn’t mean we are ridiculously frivolous either, although I am very generous with friends and family and treat people to coffee, lunch etc. I also give generously to charities.

I’m sorry that you lost your daughter, @ParkheadParadise
Of course you’re right that money doesn’t buy happiness.
But that’s comparing situations with more than one variable changed.
If all else remains the same, being able to get your weekly shop without adding it up as you go round is going to leave you happier than having to count it.