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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think this uniform policy is wrong

162 replies

rosesinmygarden · 17/10/2021 18:05

My daughter does an extra curricular activity which is linked to scouting/guiding.

The activity involves performing, for which she has to wear a specific uniform.

The uniform specifies exact items which are all boys'/men's clothes. Think men's dress trousers and a men's shirt.

There is no alternative uniform for female members.

The uniform is uncomfortable and fits my daughter badly no matter what size we buy. I've asked several times if she can wear women's versions of each item and have been told that if she does, she will be excluded from performances. They insist the uniform is unisex. It is not. The items are sold by the uniform company as boys/mens items.

AIBU to think this is quite wrong and that the male members would never be expected to wear women's clothes? Let alone be excluded if they refused!

My daughter wants to do the activity and I really don't want to be 'that' parent, but it makes me quite uncomfortable and I'm shocked that the people in charge of the activity think it is acceptable. There is a man in charge overall but his wife is also heavily involved in the running.

OP posts:
Bigeggsinapackoften · 17/10/2021 18:06

BB?

rosesinmygarden · 17/10/2021 18:07

What is BB?

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 17/10/2021 18:07

The uniform is the uniform.

I thought BB too. If so, clues in the title.

nancybotwinbloom · 17/10/2021 18:09

I can't work out what BB is?

AutumnLeafy · 17/10/2021 18:09

Brass Band?

MichelleScarn · 17/10/2021 18:10

If it is bb does the gb not exist anymore? I was in gb back early 90s and had the uniform that look like a 70s air hostess!

dementedpixie · 17/10/2021 18:10

Think they mean Boys Brigade?

Mybalconyiscracking · 17/10/2021 18:10

Boys Brigade

rosesinmygarden · 17/10/2021 18:11

No, its not Boys' Brigade.

It's a collaboration between scouts (who are traditionally boys) and guides (who are traditionally girls).

It has never been a boys only activity, which is now mixed. It has always been mixed.

OP posts:
lazyarse123 · 17/10/2021 18:11

Boys Brigade?

AutumnLeafy · 17/10/2021 18:12

There should be a option for a uniform that fits a female body then. Surely she looks silly in it. Is it for marching in for rememberence parade?

rosesinmygarden · 17/10/2021 18:13

There used to be a choice of uniform items. The uniform changed and is now made entirely from men's clothing itens.

OP posts:
MichelleScarn · 17/10/2021 18:13

Sorry just massive reminiscing there!

AIBU to think this uniform policy is wrong
MichelleScarn · 17/10/2021 18:14

@rosesinmygarden

No, its not Boys' Brigade.

It's a collaboration between scouts (who are traditionally boys) and guides (who are traditionally girls).

It has never been a boys only activity, which is now mixed. It has always been mixed.

Venture Scouts?
ErrolTheDragon · 17/10/2021 18:15

The bb isn't linked to scouting/guiding , it's a completely separate organisation.Confused

If it's a mixed sex organisation then they should either have equivalent uniforms for boys and girls designed for their different bodies OR they should have a genuinely neutral uniform which may not fit either sex well but which isn't merely 'default male' which is what the OP describes.

TheViewFromTheCheapSeats · 17/10/2021 18:15

How does it not fit? For most uniforms the cut isn’t wildly different for teens.
Or is it a feature, such as a high collar, tie or double breasting that she dislikes the feel of?

NotSoNewAndShiny · 17/10/2021 18:15

Has this always been their uniform?

If so, then you can't blame them for not wanting to change the rules once you ask.

Perhaps, think of lobbying for this rule to be reconsidered in the future.

NotSoNewAndShiny · 17/10/2021 18:16

Just saw your latest post. You can disregard my first one then.

rosesinmygarden · 17/10/2021 18:18

@AutumnLeafy

There should be a option for a uniform that fits a female body then. Surely she looks silly in it. Is it for marching in for rememberence parade?
Yes, it is that type of event. She looks uncomfortable rather than 'silly' and so do all of the female members who are past puberty, unless they have boyish figures. They all really dislike the uniform but enjoy the activity.

The man in charge refuses to make any changes or even acknowlegde their concerns. He only cares that everyone looks the same.

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 17/10/2021 18:18

For most uniforms the cut isn’t wildly different for teens.

Are you serious? My DD was short but curvy. Teen boys clothes would definitely not have fitted her.

ErrolTheDragon · 17/10/2021 18:20

Anyway, OP, YANBU.

StCharlotte · 17/10/2021 18:20

Van you approach their HQ and see what they say?

user1471530109 · 17/10/2021 18:21

I know you said it's not scouts. But my DD goes to sea scouts and there is no different uniform for boys and girls. It's never been an issue? But maybe it depends on what the uniform is Confused

Whitefire · 17/10/2021 18:22

Can you get it altered slightly?

ftw163532 · 17/10/2021 18:23

This used to be pretty normal for joint Scout/Guide events but had improved for larger/national events in the last 5 years or so.