Is he tight with money?

[ellaboo2]

Been with boyfriend for 2.5 years. We still live separately but he comes over a few times a week. I've started to notice over the last few months that he seems to be a bit tight with money but I'm not sure if it's just me.

He'll do things like come over for the evening, if we then go out somewhere he'll automatically walk to my car rather than his, expecting me to drive, every single time. If we go cinema I'll book the tickets (I have a Cineworld unlimited card), but he has never once given me the money back for his ticket, or even offered to. We've always gone around once a week so this does add up.

If I suggest going somewhere that involves buying tickets, I'll buy them as it was my suggestion but he'll never offer to pay for his ticket. He never suggests going anywhere.

To be fair to him if we go out for dinner he will usually pay, but we only do this maybe once every couple of months.

We earn the same amount, except my outgoings are a lot more than his (house, children etc).

Am I being unreasonable here?

@Hankunamatata

Well you need to open your mouth and be clear each time.

Ask him if he wants to go to the cinema when he says yes 'oh great your turn to pay this week'

He always want you to drive, you say- I will stop off at petrol station and you can put £10 /£20 in my car

Everytime you organise to go anywhere tell him plainly you expect him to transfer x amount for his ticket.

He is relying on you not asking and being upfront

Chnage that

Just get rid of him. Not this.

I think you know the answer to your question OP, but he isn't just tight with money, is he? Do you really want to be with someone like that? I certainly wouldn't let him hear your inheritance.

We once went to an exhibition that he wanted to see, I had no interest in it whatsoever but I still had to pay for my own ticket!

What would have happened if you had said, no, thank you , I'm not interested. I'll skip this one.

Would he paid up for the pleasure of your company?

Looks to me as if you are buying his company.

I've read all the way though now and see that when you organise things, you pay for both of you. When he organised something, he paid for himself and let you pay for yourself.

You know that's not right.

Meanness is awful. I would say it soon op or he keep doing it. Ah not nice.

He never arranges anything and he's tight with money. Cut your losses now, there's no future with him (well, there is, but it looks miserable).

Everytime you organise to go anywhere tell him plainly you expect him to transfer x amount for his ticket.

This isn't something you should have to do after 2.5 years together. How depressing.

@girlmom21

Everytime you organise to go anywhere tell him plainly you expect him to transfer x amount for his ticket.

This isn't something you should have to do after 2.5 years together. How depressing.

Exactly.

Well, you absolutely need to speak up and call him out on it. It’s bloody cheeky and selfish. He needs to take it in turns to drive and pay. How dare he treat you like his taxi? Don’t allow him to walk to your car and wait for you to drive! Last time you challenged him, he ended up driving. Ask him outright to pay for tickets. Tell him: I bought A, B and C: it’s your turn to pay. Present him with the facts: selfish stingy men are NOT attractive.

And he can fuck off with Disneyland. Do not spend a penny of that money on him. That’s your financial security, not money to treat that stingy sod with. Seriously, I’d give him no more than a week to do an absolute 360 degree turn and get his shit together or I’d give him the boot.

@WhatAShilohPitt

Well, you absolutely need to speak up and call him out on it. It’s bloody cheeky and selfish. He needs to take it in turns to drive and pay. How dare he treat you like his taxi? Don’t allow him to walk to your car and wait for you to drive! Last time you challenged him, he ended up driving. Ask him outright to pay for tickets. Tell him: I bought A, B and C: it’s your turn to pay. Present him with the facts: selfish stingy men are NOT attractive.

But if you have to do all of that to keep him then why would you?

@WhatAShilohPitt

And he can fuck off with Disneyland. Do not spend a penny of that money on him. That’s your financial security, not money to treat that stingy sod with. Seriously, I’d give him no more than a week to do an absolute 360 degree turn and get his shit together or I’d give him the boot.

That means give him a week to do a 360 game plan.

You've been together two and a half years but has the relationship actually evolved? I suppose factoring in covid restrictions, you've spent a lot of time apart in the last two years?

It seems you don't know him very well if you've only just noticed his mean selfish streak?

Massive alarm bells should be ringing that he feels entitled to discuss your inheritance and how it could be spent.

One minute he's very sympathetic and supportive over your bereavement, the next he's making crass jokes/dropping hints about spending the inheritance at Disneyland in front of your dc.

Something is very off. Listen to your instincts op.

He is getting away with not paying so doesn't. Goodness knows how selfish he would be if you ever did live together. I think you should end it. You deserve better.

He landed right on his feet meeting you OP... Bleeding you dry and not even being discreet about it 😳

I bet he’s thinking of Disneyland America as well, not Paris!

@Standrewsschool Yes it was the American one!

[quote ellaboo2]@Standrewsschool Yes it was the American one! [/quote]
Are you going to dump this Taker?

How much do you enjoy his company ?

Is he just a follower? He doesn't sound very keen on doing things, not making plans, just letting you take the lead all the time. He sounds a bit more a stay home person than you

Yes he's a tight fucker......

Get rid he take take take.