AIBU?

[takenforgrantednana]

so i have put my foot down on the notice for babysitting the grand kids, but the sticking point has been i have said i require "at least 7 days notice" so lets be 100% clear on this ok, if i am asked to collect the kids on monday 1 nov and i require at least 7 days notice, when is the cut off for asking me about it?

i say its on the sunday but hubby refuses point blank to accept that and says im pedantic about it, my reasoning is that over time i know how this will be pushed and pushed until im being given 3 days notice if im lucky

If you'd rather be asked on the Sunday, say that - you are doing a massive favour and it's not for anyone to quibble over the details!

Ok, I've had a look at the previous thread, and I see why you're pissed off - but you call your daughter 'the mum'?

But just say no of you don't want to do it. Are you guaranteeing them you will always do it with 7 days notice? Also, you say it's "the mum" asking. I assume your DIL. Surely it's benefiting your son as much as her.

its not weird, it became the only thing i could do when i have been asked at 9 pm on a sunday to collect the kids on the monday!

You live your life, you then say ‘sorry I can’t’ or ‘sure no problem’ and that’s literally it. You don’t need a booking service.

Wether they ask you for your help 1 year in advance or 1 hour in advance, if you are free to do it you say yes and if not you say no? That’s how favours work surely?

Reading the previous post YANBU - she needs to organise herself better and let you know a week in advance

I would say the Monday. Set a cut-off time though, if you think it'll creep

Doesn’t matter about the notice if you start saying no. She can ask on the day but you can say no to her

If you were saying one day’s notice for school pickup then that would be 24 hours, which would be before 3pm (or whatever time) on Sunday for Monday.
So logically
2 days Saturday
3 days Friday
4 days Thursday
5 days Wednesday
6 days Tuesday
7 days Monday
So say 8 days’ notice if that’s what you want.

Pick up time Monday 25th to pick up time Monday 1st would be exactly a week. You must be very unhappy with the situation to behave like this though. It would probably be better all round to just tell them you can't do it at all any more and they need to find someone else.

@cantgetmyheadroundit

Ok, I've had a look at the previous thread, and I see why you're pissed off - but you call your daughter 'the mum'?

I’m assuming it’s her DIL as she seems to loathe her

Good on you for establishing boundaries ... it's about time.. 🌸

it's OP's Daughter...

and OP has good reason for setting these boundaries ...

She's done well putting it in place 🌸

OP will be disgusted to discover I picked up my goddaughter with two hours notice today 😹

No. 7 days is a week. There is only one of each day in a week. If they want you to babysit on the Monday then they need to get their request in by no later than the previous Monday.

I wouldn't put a particular time, but neither would I hang around waiting to see if I were needed or not. I'd make plans for whatever I wanted to do, and if I'd already made plans for a day when childcare was wanted, then tough luck (within reason). I mind a family member's child twice a week, on set days. If her parents want me to do more than that, I may or may not be available. If they ask a long time in advance, I probably will be available. If they ask close to the date, I may well not be available. That's up to them to sort it out as early as they know they need cover, it's not up to me to sit around 'just in case'.

Surelg you just do it unless youre busy or its inconvenient

@RealBecca

Surelg you just do it unless youre busy or its inconvenient

and if the kids where yours? how would you boss feel if you had to phone in and say oh sorry no can do, my mum cant look after the kids today as its inconvient for her

What you're asking for is 8 days notice.
At least 7 days is Monday at the latest, or anytime before but including Monday.

You want 8 days notice. So tell her that. But if she doesnt get her shifts until up to a week before, then she might not have her shifts in time to give you 8 days notice.

Where's the father in this situation? You just keep talking about 'the mother' in the planning/lack of planning. I take it she's your DIL, as I doubt you would be talking about your son like that. He seems to be getting off scott free, whoever he is.

@HollaHolla

Where's the father in this situation? You just keep talking about 'the mother' in the planning/lack of planning. I take it she's your DIL, as I doubt you would be talking about your son like that. He seems to be getting off scott free, whoever he is.

no this is my daughter i am talking about, yes shes married, on rare times he collect the kids they then come home and he returns to working in his office in the house, leaving the kids to do as they want, watch tv etc

Definitely the Sunday. Your daughter takes the piss as it is so keep your foot down with a weeks notice.

if there was a genuine reason such as she didnt get her rota until the monday morning then fine, but i know my daughter well enough to know that requiring her to tell me about the monday and other day im needed at least 7 days before and her only telling me on the tea time on the first monday would then become on the tuesday as "she forgot" and then opps its wednesday

I completely agree with the other thread about establishing boundaries. Are you all caught up with being supported as NBU that you have lost sight of what you wanted to achieve and being so ridiculously particular? Who gives a crap if its a day out? You are in charge of your own life. If she asks and gives you notice, surely you have or have not plans but say what you want. 7 or 8 days, does it matter?