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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be frustrated by people who are just oblivious

306 replies

Manyview · 15/10/2021 07:07

Nursery drop off queue - always a joy

Particular group of parents who just don't seem to have any grip on reality

Husband and I work hard in public sector jobs. They asked me how work is (for me social care) and I was like well pretty manky, big staff and money shortages, everyone's working v hard etc

Response : oh yeah I think I heard something about that last week...and covid is still about a bit isn't it apparently?? Did you hear that?

Is it just me? How can you be soooooo oblivious to real (and stressful) life around you? How can people be just so lacking in understanding of the genuine issues affecting real people?

OP posts:
ABCeasyasdohrayme · 15/10/2021 11:40

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

silveryslade one could say the same of you- what exactly do you find so offensive about my point of view? I’m proud to say I surround myself with knowledgeable people, we may not share the same views but we can articulate ourselves and hold discussions.
On the school run? Confused

You get into full on conversations and debates on the school run?

Small talk shows nothing about how intelligent or articulate a person is, its just a pleasantry before you go about your day.

silveryslade · 15/10/2021 11:41

I’m proud to say I surround myself with knowledgeable people, we may not share the same views but we can articulate ourselves and hold discussions

@OnlyFoolsnMothers, my aim is not to be proud. Pride come before a fall.

Pontypandytaxpayer · 15/10/2021 11:41

It sounds like they were trying to be friendly and polite and you were not.

I don't think this has anything to do with your job.

arethereanyleftatall · 15/10/2021 11:42

There's quite a lot to be learned from those who go through life in ignorant bliss. They're probably far happier than those super intelligent folk for whom the apocalypse is coming.

Pythonista · 15/10/2021 11:47

@arethereanyleftatall

There's quite a lot to be learned from those who go through life in ignorant bliss. They're probably far happier than those super intelligent folk for whom the apocalypse is coming.
Intelligence is nothing to do with ignorance of the world.

You could have a massive IQ but not bother being aware of the world around you.

Or you could be thick as pigshit and yet have an excellent knowledge of the nuances of the world political stage.

Again, another ironic post.

PolytheneRam · 15/10/2021 11:51

I work in a hospital and Covid isn't on my mind all the time. It's something we are obviously aware of now, and procedures have changed accordingly, but it isn't an all-consuming topic of conversation.

Have I missed your point? I'm confused.

Pythonista · 15/10/2021 11:51

And fwiw I am rather intelligent and also aware of current affairs.

The example of the day after Brexit vote - we had a tv in our reception area. Everyone was coming in and watching it but nobody discussed it directly at the time.

I wouldn't be crass enough to bore strangers who spoke to me with my opinions on the news or how my job was going, but ya know, you do you.

Icenii · 15/10/2021 11:53

It was just small talk but you are so wrapped up in your current situation you can't see past that. This is fine. But you're being rude about them. There could be all manner of reason why they kept it brief.

But what does it matter if someone isn't overly interested in a school gate contacts issues, or they aren't deeply into issues that you perceive to be important ? Maybe they just want to be more like a dog, live for the moment and help out where they feel their energy is best spent.

Spidey66 · 15/10/2021 11:53

I have GORD aka acid reflux. One symptom is nocturnal coughing. It was diagnosed pre pandemic and I'm now receiving appropriate treatment for it.

I have a cough (or I would if I wasn't taking treatment). I know full well it ain't covid. Others with asthma, allergies, copd etc also know full well their coughs aren't covid. People know their own bodies and know what is and isn't normal for them.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 15/10/2021 11:54

You get into full on conversations and debates on the school run? no but I tend to think there’s a middle ground between debating the pros and cons of brexit at 8.45 and asking who Boris Johnson is

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 15/10/2021 11:56

my aim is not to be proud. Pride come before a fall again nothing about being proud- actually if this is how you conduct discussions perhaps you are right to keep things surface level

Briony123 · 15/10/2021 11:58

They were probably just trying to make small talk but didn't want to end up in a discussion on the state of the country. I can understand that.
I often can't be bothered with big discussions so just act all airy fairy. There's a time and a place.

silveryslade · 15/10/2021 12:00

@OnlyFoolsnMothers, you see for me the purpose of seeking knowledge is not so my knowledge can be utilised in some sort of eristic debating pissing contest with the people I come across. I seek knowledge in order for me to use it practically.

Once you have seen or heard the news headlines and realised there is not much you can do practically apart from being in line with whatever restrictions are current there is not much to be gained by watching more or debating the inns and outs of governmental decisions until an election is on the horizon. Which is a way off yet.

Pythonista · 15/10/2021 12:01

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

my aim is not to be proud. Pride come before a fall again nothing about being proud- actually if this is how you conduct discussions perhaps you are right to keep things surface level
And if this is how you conduct discussions, I seriously doubt you have anyone to discuss anything with in real life.
silveryslade · 15/10/2021 12:03

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

my aim is not to be proud. Pride come before a fall again nothing about being proud- actually if this is how you conduct discussions perhaps you are right to keep things surface level
I would draw your attention to your earlier post where you said,

I’m proud to say I surround myself with knowledgeable people, we may not share the same views but we can articulate ourselves and hold discussions

Pythonista · 15/10/2021 12:03

@silveryslade

@OnlyFoolsnMothers, you see for me the purpose of seeking knowledge is not so my knowledge can be utilised in some sort of eristic debating pissing contest with the people I come across. I seek knowledge in order for me to use it practically.

Once you have seen or heard the news headlines and realised there is not much you can do practically apart from being in line with whatever restrictions are current there is not much to be gained by watching more or debating the inns and outs of governmental decisions until an election is on the horizon. Which is a way off yet.

I LOVE "eristic debating pissing contest" and now want to use this phrase in real life Grin
silveryslade · 15/10/2021 12:04

@Grin

REDHERO · 15/10/2021 12:05

Why is public sector work always described as 'hard'. Some roles are and some are cushy. Step into the private sector and you will see everything is not roses so why are you so oblivious to that?

BrilliantBetty · 15/10/2021 12:08

Gosh last thing i'd want in the nursery queue is a parent offloading their frustration for their job on me. I couldn't care less about most of the parents and don't want to be sucked in to their negativity.

I'd probably have brushed you off like that too.

WorraLiberty · 15/10/2021 12:10

@PolytheneRam

I work in a hospital and Covid isn't on my mind all the time. It's something we are obviously aware of now, and procedures have changed accordingly, but it isn't an all-consuming topic of conversation.

Have I missed your point? I'm confused.

The point is, when the OP mentioned she works in social care, the other parent didn't fall at her feet with all consuming gratitude and organise the other parents into forming a ceremonial arch, clapping the OP as she left the nursery gates.

This has made the OP conclude the other parent is oblivious to what's going on in the world.

TeloMere · 15/10/2021 12:12

Not everyone wants to be sucked into another person's frustration and misery, especially on the school run.
Keep it light OP.

lurker101 · 15/10/2021 12:19

I would doubt they’re oblivious, but probably wanted to keep the conversation brief, light and not veer into politics (as many health and social care staffing/budget discussions can do).

Many people are working in industries also facing staffing and budget problems and would love the security of a public sector employer, so may be less keen to hear complaints.

CarrotSticks23 · 15/10/2021 12:30

I work for the NHS and I understand there are a lot of big issues, massive problems within the public sector going on right now. However I am also sick and tired of the 'we work so hard, we are on our knees, everything is collapsing' conversation. It's exhausting. I also find it a bit embarrassing in certain situations, because it can be used as a look how wonderful I am tool. A lot of people work very hard public or private sector, there's a time and a place for big political conversations and it's not the nursery drop off. Sometimes I just want a fucking break. I do just want to talk about love island or the kardashians or the weather. It doesn't make them ignorant.

It sounds more like a brush off rather than being clueless. A sudden panicked switch of conversation.

SickAndTiredAgain · 15/10/2021 13:00

There's quite a lot to be learned from those who go through life in ignorant bliss. They're probably far happier than those super intelligent folk for whom the apocalypse is coming.

Ignorance and intelligence aren’t related. I have a friend that I went to school with, she’s a maths teacher now and has an incredible maths brain, got 4 A*s at A level in maths, further maths, physics and chemistry. She is extremely intelligent.

I reckon she probably knows Johnson is prime minister, because he’s a character so is memorable. But I wouldn’t be overly surprised if she couldn’t name who was PM before him, and I’d fall over in shock if she knew who Keir Starmer was, or could name the chancellor, for example. I’m not sure how she doesn’t know this information, just from a general awareness of the world, but you’re right that she probably is happier for it - I know I’d be happier if I didn’t know who the prime minister was.

Dojacatpaws · 15/10/2021 13:08

What's the sarky 'always a joy' comment for? What's so bad about dropping kids off at nursery and speaking to other parents?