To be frustrated by people who are just oblivious

[Manyview]

Nursery drop off queue - always a joy

Particular group of parents who just don't seem to have any grip on reality

Husband and I work hard in public sector jobs. They asked me how work is (for me social care) and I was like well pretty manky, big staff and money shortages, everyone's working v hard etc

Response : oh yeah I think I heard something about that last week...and covid is still about a bit isn't it apparently?? Did you hear that?

Is it just me? How can you be soooooo oblivious to real (and stressful) life around you? How can people be just so lacking in understanding of the genuine issues affecting real people?

I have a good friend who is an ICU nurse. I often see her when we drop our DC at school. We keep the “how awful work really is” talk for proper meet ups.

@thisplaceisweird

Having lived in a few different European countries for 5+ years each, I will say it's shocking how un-switched on British people are. No real interest or understanding of politics other than sensationalist headlines, no clue what's going on at a global political/economic scale and of course a real lack of concern or care around COVID. This is all just based on my experiences of course but it's quite dramatically different.

Saw this graph published just today which says it all.

Bloody hell

Covid is still about a bit isn't it apparently?

Come on, as mentioned already it's hard to believe a parent of a nursery child said this. If they did, it was probably an attempt at dark humour or sarcasm. I quite like that sort of tongue in cheek response and would have laughed.

I'm not getting what was so bad in their response, either.
They didn't dismiss OP's concerns, just didn't get caught up in them, either.

Did OP want more sympathy?
They let OP sound off. They can't fix OP's situation there & then. Good that they didn't pretend to know solution that no govt has found.

I'll give you all oblivious.
I bring myself & bicycle on train service which is not overcrowded.
There were lots seats in same carriage.
3 people are seated in the cycle storage space - staff moan if I put bike elsewhere.

"You all shouldn't be here & I will struggle to keep my bike from falling on you when train lurches around." I say.
One bloke blinks. Nobody moves from their seats.
I seethe, stand holding bike to stop it falling on them for 10 minutes.

After about 10 minutes into the journey the bloke (wore a sunflower lanyard, so I imagine had LDs) moves a bit to let me sit down. Others continue to ignore me.

THAT's Oblivious For You.

Meh, people like that all over the place. Live in a bubble, never watch the news or current affairs shows and don't follow that kinda thing on sm or even read papers cos it's "boring" and "doesn't affect me"

My ex was like this when I first met him, then he got a crash course in politics and current affairs from me!  he had a couple of "epiphanies" when he suddenly realised just HOW much it affected his life as he wasn't only a citizen but also in the army!

Unfortunately this type do still vote...usually based on how their parents or partner/spouse votes or on the odd occasion they've seen that "funny buffoon Boris" on tv or a sm video that they've not really paid attention to!

This is indeed as @Theworldisfullofgs why we're in such a bloody mess!

I have some Tory voters in my circle and upon having conversations with them IF you can engage them they have at times it's been apparent :

Been unaware that it's tories that are screwing the economy

Unaware of what it's like for poorest in society

Unaware of laws they've passed/policies that DIRECTLY affect them and theirs

But @lljkk, as you indicated, the sunflower lanyard shows someone has some sort of additional need. He may have noticed but had difficulty working out what you were asking him to do. You told him off for being there and said you had to hold your bike but didn't explicitly tell him to move. Or he may just have had difficulty with doing what you asked him to do for some reason. Either way doesn't necessarily mean he was oblivious. Observation of a problem, the right thing to do and then doing it doesn't always join up well for people.

@Graphista

Meh, people like that all over the place. Live in a bubble, never watch the news or current affairs shows and don't follow that kinda thing on sm or even read papers cos it's "boring" and "doesn't affect me"

My ex was like this when I first met him, then he got a crash course in politics and current affairs from me!  he had a couple of "epiphanies" when he suddenly realised just HOW much it affected his life as he wasn't only a citizen but also in the army!

Unfortunately this type do still vote...usually based on how their parents or partner/spouse votes or on the odd occasion they've seen that "funny buffoon Boris" on tv or a sm video that they've not really paid attention to!

This is indeed as @Theworldisfullofgs why we're in such a bloody mess!

I have some Tory voters in my circle and upon having conversations with them IF you can engage them they have at times it's been apparent :

Been unaware that it's tories that are screwing the economy

Unaware of what it's like for poorest in society

Unaware of laws they've passed/policies that DIRECTLY affect them and theirs

Ah yes, the old Mumsnet trope of if you vote a different way, you are misinformed or ignorant.

SORRY @lljkk!!!

Misread your post. Now I'm the oblivious one!🤦‍♀️

@Graphista

Meh, people like that all over the place. Live in a bubble, never watch the news or current affairs shows and don't follow that kinda thing on sm or even read papers cos it's "boring" and "doesn't affect me"

My ex was like this when I first met him, then he got a crash course in politics and current affairs from me!  he had a couple of "epiphanies" when he suddenly realised just HOW much it affected his life as he wasn't only a citizen but also in the army!

Unfortunately this type do still vote...usually based on how their parents or partner/spouse votes or on the odd occasion they've seen that "funny buffoon Boris" on tv or a sm video that they've not really paid attention to!

This is indeed as @Theworldisfullofgs why we're in such a bloody mess!

I have some Tory voters in my circle and upon having conversations with them IF you can engage them they have at times it's been apparent :

Been unaware that it's tories that are screwing the economy

Unaware of what it's like for poorest in society

Unaware of laws they've passed/policies that DIRECTLY affect them and theirs

Not saying it doesn't affect me. Not refusing to acknowledge or ignorant of the social inequality in society or structural and ideological issues in every one of the political parties. However, acknowledging just an iota of complexity within each of the issues requires the type of discussion which focuses upon unraveling the truth instead of being eristic and trying to win an argument. Accusations just aren't that relevant as people see truth through a filter of their own particular experiences and understanding of the world.

And don't you think if there were some type of intelligence test required for voting that would just further social inequality?

IQ and other diagnostic tests only measure a certain type of intelligence and skills for these type of tests can always be taught. Otherwise the 11+ system would work just fine! Equally don't less 'intelligent' people have a right to have some autonomy and choice over their lives?

People ask how work is to make small talk - they aren't expecting a litany of complaints. And having received them, they don't know what to say

^This with bells on. They will have been thoroughly taken aback to receive such a long reply to their question.

genuine issues affecting real people?

10 pages, no further response and this little gem in the OP. Come on people.

Many people truly are oblivious, but in this case, I agree with those who've said that most people aren't looking for heavy, depressing discussion when making small talk. I wouldn't take their reaction to be proof of obliviousness.

Besides, sometimes being temporarily oblivious is a self-preservation tactic. Occasionally, I intentionally ignore the rest of the world and its endless, impossible problems, in a bid to just get through the crap I personally am struggling to survive.

Op probably hasn't been back because she is too busy doing her VERY IMPORTANT JOB SAVING THE WORLD - but of course she doesn't like to mention it....

Perhaps if we clap, she will appear?

All people you meet are real though and all have issues.

It is something of a straw man argument. People are simply recognising the person who spoke to the OP will probably have had issues and priorities of their own. No one genuinely believes there are no issues, I, for one just refuse to start a contest between whose issues are the most significant. What happened was the op and the person in question are just on different pages of the same book, metaphorically speaking and they didn't really engage well with each other.

@Ozanj

Oversharing is rude. Next time don’t do it.

It's really difficult when you work in health and social care. OP, you sound a bit burnt out. I was too and I remember going into work every night when my family and friends were making the most of the summer lockdown by drinking in the garden and fucking hating them. They don't understand and it's okay for them to be out of touch with what's going on because it isn't their reality. I'm now on ML and I'm so far removed from what's going on at work. When I see my friends I say the same 'how's work?' That's about it. Breathe.

It's really difficult when you work in health and social care. OP, you sound a bit burnt out. I was too and I remember going into work every night when my family and friends were making the most of the summer lockdown by drinking in the garden and fucking hating them. They don't understand and it's okay for them to be out of touch with what's going on because it isn't their reality. I'm now on ML and I'm so far removed from what's going on at work. When I see my friends I say the same 'how's work?' That's about it. Breathe.

It is actually possible that the other person/people the OP is talking to have their own work/home issues.

Public sector workers do not have the monopoly on stress and burnout.

@Pythonista

Op probably hasn't been back because she is too busy doing her VERY IMPORTANT JOB SAVING THE WORLD - but of course she doesn't like to mention it....

Or perhaps OP is a bit burnt out and has directed her frustrations at the wrong people and is now being goaded to return to her thread by people like you. Take a break.

@Pythonista nobody has said they don't have their own issues and stresses. I have tried to give a reasonable suggestion that OP might be experiencing burn out and getting frustrated at the wrong people because working with covid isn't their reality.

But the thread isn't about burnout. The thread is about the op slagging people off for not wanting to hear a long list of moans about her job and accusing them of being oblivious to the world. OP was very dismissive and actually rather unpleasant about it.

It is usual to return to your own thread.

Oh and don't tell me to take a break.

You are as rude and patronising as the OP

Perhaps if we clap, she will appear?

You're not much more pleasant yourself to be honest. Just because the OP hasn't said 'I'm burnt out' doesn't mean it isn't possible. Being short tempered and irritated by such trivial things and wanting to off load because of short staffing, shit budget etc all scream burnt out to me. I don't think it is fair to be angry at people who don't want to discuss your work issues at the nursery gates, but the problem isn't always so bloody superficial as just being angry and entitled.

and where is the op?