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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be frustrated by people who are just oblivious

306 replies

Manyview · 15/10/2021 07:07

Nursery drop off queue - always a joy

Particular group of parents who just don't seem to have any grip on reality

Husband and I work hard in public sector jobs. They asked me how work is (for me social care) and I was like well pretty manky, big staff and money shortages, everyone's working v hard etc

Response : oh yeah I think I heard something about that last week...and covid is still about a bit isn't it apparently?? Did you hear that?

Is it just me? How can you be soooooo oblivious to real (and stressful) life around you? How can people be just so lacking in understanding of the genuine issues affecting real people?

OP posts:
Pythonista · 15/10/2021 17:29

@ohthestruggles

Perhaps if we clap, she will appear?

You're not much more pleasant yourself to be honest. Just because the OP hasn't said 'I'm burnt out' doesn't mean it isn't possible. Being short tempered and irritated by such trivial things and wanting to off load because of short staffing, shit budget etc all scream burnt out to me. I don't think it is fair to be angry at people who don't want to discuss your work issues at the nursery gates, but the problem isn't always so bloody superficial as just being angry and entitled.

The nastiness displayed bu the OP and other posters and the superior attitude is pretty despicable. So no, you don't get sympathy when that is your attitude
Pythonista · 15/10/2021 17:31

@ohthestruggles

Perhaps if we clap, she will appear?

You're not much more pleasant yourself to be honest. Just because the OP hasn't said 'I'm burnt out' doesn't mean it isn't possible. Being short tempered and irritated by such trivial things and wanting to off load because of short staffing, shit budget etc all scream burnt out to me. I don't think it is fair to be angry at people who don't want to discuss your work issues at the nursery gates, but the problem isn't always so bloody superficial as just being angry and entitled.

Oh and there are plenty of others who agree with me on this thread so feel free to point out to them How burnt out the OP is and how we should be understanding
ohthestruggles · 15/10/2021 17:44

@Pythonista I did not come to this thread to point out to you specifically this point, you chose to engage with me and other posters didn't. Which is why you are now seeing yourself as 'targeted' and other posters aren't, I'm assuming? It is possible for other posters (like myself) to say the OP is BU but suggest that she is maybe feeling this way because of burn out. Don't get so invested in threads because you haven't taken it very well that I've disagreed with you and other posters. You consistently come back to threads to hammer home your point. I think the OP has got the message, she is BU. I don't think clapping will bring her back. Smile

Pythonista · 15/10/2021 17:57

I don't feel targeted. You are determined to excuse the OP. That's fine but the OP herself hasn't bothered to come back to agree or not with other posters.

The post is to slag people off for their perceived stupidity.

I'm not going to comment on your posting history/style because it's bad form to AS posters and you aren't memorable enough for me to know you

Pythonista · 15/10/2021 18:00

But of course she used the magic words 'social care' so you are falling over yourself to make excuses for a rather shitty and superior post

ohthestruggles · 15/10/2021 18:03

Why state that there are LOTS OF OTHERS WHO AGREE AND IM NOT CALLING THEM OUT if you don't feel targeted? I posted, you replied..you chose to engage and now feel that I am only addressing you. Hmm

Pythonista · 15/10/2021 18:06

I was disagreeing with your with a general comment about the fact that other people have stressful jobs. You then decided to make things about me being unpleasant and my posting style - crack on. GrinGrin

ohthestruggles · 15/10/2021 18:09

I think you called me rude and patronising to start with..Confused😂 but I'm just going to leave it there, clearly people who are BU have no rights and are the worst of the worst, undeserving of any sympathy or reasoning. Ever. It's bad form to goad people back. The OP doesn't have to return, I don't blame them.

Pythonista · 15/10/2021 18:10

Or perhaps OP is a bit burnt out and has directed her frustrations at the wrong people and is now being goaded to return to her thread by people like you. Take a break.

You're not much more pleasant yourself to be honest.

Don't get so invested in threads because you haven't taken it very well that I've disagreed with you and other posters. You consistently come back to threads to hammer home your point.

I was disagreeing with your point. You got personal. It makes you look slightly stupid

Pythonista · 15/10/2021 18:11

No I said you were rude and patronising because you told me to take a break

shinynewapple21 · 15/10/2021 19:29

Assuming @Manyview that you have a perfect knowledge and understanding of the issues facing these other parents Hmm

silveryslade · 15/10/2021 19:53

Maybe the op is experiencing burn out. That doesn't mean it shouldn't be (gently) pointed out to her other people not wanting to discuss her problems with work is no reflection on how oblivious they are. It might just mean they don't want a long discussion / cope with / prioritise their own live's difficulties by not getting bogged down by problems they cannot solve.

bettyboodecia · 15/10/2021 20:24

I've got plenty of friends and family in social work, but they don't feel the need to turn every conversation into a pity party.

LuluJakey1 · 15/10/2021 21:13

Britain is overwhelmed by these thick, ignorant people who couldn't give a toss about anything outside their own tiny mind.

Confiscatedpopit · 16/10/2021 08:25

You sound really really stressed OP. I get like this about others when I’ve reached my limit.

They are probably just making conversation and keeping things light.

rrhuth · 16/10/2021 08:31

@bettyboodecia

I've got plenty of friends and family in social work, but they don't feel the need to turn every conversation into a pity party.
Talking about the reality of work or society is not a 'pity party' FFS. That's not the meaning of the phrase.
THEDEACON · 16/10/2021 17:31

You were not unreasonable Seems lots on here are oblivious too though

anon666 · 16/10/2021 17:32

They're probably just making conversation. Not everyone has the same set of problems, and unless you've got an understanding of it in depth it's hard to engage meaningfully. So they're likely to be just trying to be polite.

Buttercup1954 · 16/10/2021 17:42

Some people are struggling and have problems of their own probably much worse than yours. Be kind.

JennyForeigner · 16/10/2021 17:45

Staff member at our children's nursery last week having refused vaccination, got covid, not tested as she thought she had a cold, given covid to half the community, and become very sorry for herself -

'I thought covid was over.'

Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggghhhhhh

Goawaymorningsickeness · 16/10/2021 18:13

I think you’re being a bit unreasonable. Stood in a queue when someone asks how’s such and such, it’s generally a rhetorical question, rather than an invitation to pour out your grievances.

It’s not just public sector people that have been working beyond what is reasonable. It’s a sign of the times unfortunately. I hope you get to have some leave and rest soon.

MollyMinniesMum · 16/10/2021 18:20

Lockdown coming November, undoubtedly and yet people are oblivious!

Pythonista · 16/10/2021 19:08

They really aren't! The OP went off on a long diatribe about her work issues when someone was making small talk. I too would be tempted to play dumb if someone ranted to me

Happyher · 16/10/2021 19:23

People like that are why we have a pantomime of a government

Pontypandytaxpayer · 16/10/2021 19:34

@MollyMinniesMum

Lockdown coming November, undoubtedly and yet people are oblivious!
No there isn't.