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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be frustrated by people who are just oblivious

306 replies

Manyview · 15/10/2021 07:07

Nursery drop off queue - always a joy

Particular group of parents who just don't seem to have any grip on reality

Husband and I work hard in public sector jobs. They asked me how work is (for me social care) and I was like well pretty manky, big staff and money shortages, everyone's working v hard etc

Response : oh yeah I think I heard something about that last week...and covid is still about a bit isn't it apparently?? Did you hear that?

Is it just me? How can you be soooooo oblivious to real (and stressful) life around you? How can people be just so lacking in understanding of the genuine issues affecting real people?

OP posts:
ClinkeyMonkey · 15/10/2021 07:30

So ALL of them were oblivious to covid? All of them? It sounds like one person made a remark. They aren't a hive mind.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 15/10/2021 07:31

not everyone reads the papers or see the news

QforCucumber · 15/10/2021 07:31

Is not about being oblivious, it's about not actually 'caring' when they ask.

I see a lot of parents at drop off, a brief 'morning, you OK?' 'Yes thanks, you? How's work?' 'Oh you know, the usual'

SnarkyBag · 15/10/2021 07:35

I think a lot of people in health and social care are having it really rough (I’m a HCP) but this divisive attitude of thinking everyone else isn’t having it a tough isn’t healthy.

Even as a HCP myself I got sick to death of all the Facebook posts from nurses and carers banging on about how they needed fuel more than others and anyone filling up there car who has a non key worker job is a selfish arse.

onelittlefrog · 15/10/2021 07:36

Their lives are different to yours.

Working in social care/ public sector you will come across and be aware of a lot more of these issues than some people will.

It might be nice if people went out of their way to understand more, yes, but do you understand their industry/ sector of work? They might think you are equally oblivious to the things concerning them.

Silvercatowner · 15/10/2021 07:36

I was at the chemist stood behind someone who said to the assistant 'I've got a really bad cough (cough cough) please can you recommend something?'

After 20 months...

SleepingStandingUp · 15/10/2021 07:38

genuine issues affecting real people?
Real people being...??

SpiderinaWingMirror · 15/10/2021 07:38

It's polite chit chat.
They genuinely don't care about your job anymore than you are interested in your life.
Personally I avoid speaking before 10.

SleepingStandingUp · 15/10/2021 07:39

@Silvercatowner

I was at the chemist stood behind someone who said to the assistant 'I've got a really bad cough (cough cough) please can you recommend something?'

After 20 months...

Perhaps they didn't feel it necessary to confirm they'd had a test and hadn't got covid?
IggleyP · 15/10/2021 07:39

@Silvercatowner - People still get coughs that aren’t COVID related. And they are still allowed out! Even in chemists.

After 20 months testing became much easier to access, so the chances were that you were standing there feeling all indignant for no reason.

HeartsAndClubs · 15/10/2021 07:40

“How’s work?” Is small talk and nothing more. it’s up there with “how are you?”

TokyoTen · 15/10/2021 07:42

You need to reply "Hi all good thanks! Pretty busy but getting there. Bye!" Not give them the actual story!

CampagVelocet · 15/10/2021 07:43

It's just perspective. They aren't wrong but neither are you. You're just looking at different parts of the picture. And yes, agree with PPs - the correct British response to 'how are you?' Is 'fine thanks, you?'! No one asks that question expecting the truth!

HeartsAndClubs · 15/10/2021 07:43

@Silvercatowner erm I think you are the one who is oblivious there.

Lots and lots of coughs and colds doing the rounds ATM, I have one. There have and wil always be coughs, you do know that coughing isn’t a new phenomenon since COVID?

stillcrazyafterall · 15/10/2021 07:44

I think many people (me included) deal with all the horrendous crap that is currently happening by focussing on their immediate life. I have enough to deal with my job and family without worrying too much about stuff I can't control. Of course everyone knows that the NHS (for example) had a really shitty time but I couldn't stress about that as well as what was happening in my life otherwise I would have folded, so I concentrate on my own life. I'm sure you do the same if you think about it.

Comedycook · 15/10/2021 07:44

I once made the huge mistake of mentioning something I'd seen on the news at a baby group...the blank faces staring back at me made me realise I'd made a faux Pas.

Oh and I remember the morning after they'd announced the brexit vote and a school mum ran up to me in the playground and said "oh my god, did you hear what happened? They have rescheduled the class assembly".

Yanbu. I don't know how some people get through the day

5zeds · 15/10/2021 07:46

I can’t believe you want an in depth in a queue at nursery. Ridiculous. Are you aware that there are likely to be people in that queue who have lost friends, family, homes, health and would find YOUR life unenlightened and uninteresting

thisplaceisweird · 15/10/2021 07:47

Having lived in a few different European countries for 5+ years each, I will say it's shocking how un-switched on British people are. No real interest or understanding of politics other than sensationalist headlines, no clue what's going on at a global political/economic scale and of course a real lack of concern or care around COVID. This is all just based on my experiences of course but it's quite dramatically different.

Saw this graph published just today which says it all.

To be frustrated by people who are just oblivious
Silvercatowner · 15/10/2021 07:56

[quote HeartsAndClubs]**@Silvercatowner erm I think you are the one who is oblivious there.

Lots and lots of coughs and colds doing the rounds ATM, I have one. There have and wil always be coughs, you do know that coughing isn’t a new phenomenon since COVID?[/quote]
Lol - despite the HUGE sign in the chemist that says 'do not enter if you have a cough'?

Honestly, the ignorance is astounding! It's no wonder we have the highest numbers...

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 15/10/2021 07:59

Couldn’t agree more, recent examples: parents whose children are in school not realising school dinners are free for early years, that lateral flow tests are for symptomless - people who must live under a rock

ThinWomansBrain · 15/10/2021 08:01

"How's work?" sounds like an opening conversation gambit where a casual acquaintance expects a light hearted/non commital reply; fine/busy/ etc. rather than a detailed run down of your organisations financial history/major risk gactors.
same as when someone asks "how are you" they really expect "great thanks, you?" as a response, not a detailed reply listing health conditions down to the fungal infection in your left big toenail.

MydogWillow · 15/10/2021 08:04

How can you be soooooo oblivious to real (and stressful) life around you? How can people be just so lacking in understanding of the genuine issues affecting real people?

They are not oblivious.

Everyone has their own story. Some worse than others. Some of those parent's are also probably having a completely shit time and don't want to start their day in a debate.

I would guess the majority of those parent's also work incredibly hard so it's not just you.

While I get you want to scream at how awful it is, I believe your frustration in this scenario is misplaced.

Comedycook · 15/10/2021 08:05

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

Couldn’t agree more, recent examples: parents whose children are in school not realising school dinners are free for early years, that lateral flow tests are for symptomless - people who must live under a rock
It's weird. I can only assume they never listen to the radio or watch tv or read any newspapers. It's like those people who don't know who the prime minister is...you would surely have to go out of your way to avoid knowing.
Madasa22 · 15/10/2021 08:06

How rude to think you and your husband are the only real people of the group. On the plus side, I'm sure they'll have picked up your hollier than thou demeanour.

Cofifeefee · 15/10/2021 08:06

I thought this was going to be about parents that hold up the queue at nursery drop off - yes I'm looking at you mother of 4 who only drops off one child but brings the other 3 to the door so that they can all say a goodbye that resembles an immigrant wake while the rest of us politely queue up behind you - we all have places to be!!!

On the actual topic, I agree with the others; "how's work" at the school run is polite chit chat, I wouldn't expect a debate on staff shortages - mainly because I am rushing to work myself.