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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be frustrated by people who are just oblivious

306 replies

Manyview · 15/10/2021 07:07

Nursery drop off queue - always a joy

Particular group of parents who just don't seem to have any grip on reality

Husband and I work hard in public sector jobs. They asked me how work is (for me social care) and I was like well pretty manky, big staff and money shortages, everyone's working v hard etc

Response : oh yeah I think I heard something about that last week...and covid is still about a bit isn't it apparently?? Did you hear that?

Is it just me? How can you be soooooo oblivious to real (and stressful) life around you? How can people be just so lacking in understanding of the genuine issues affecting real people?

OP posts:
Pythonista · 15/10/2021 08:52

@Silvercatowner

Now it is you sounding ignorant - you know coughs don't necessarily mean covid? That person may indeed have tested negative but didn't want to have a full convo in front of you

Would you SERIOUSLY go to a chemist and cough in front of everyone???

Good grief...

As I said previously, it's no wonder our numbers are so high.

Those of us who have longstanding conditions have no choice.

You sound a little ignorant of the world yourself

TicTacHoh · 15/10/2021 08:53

Also really hope this ‘particular group of parents who just don't seem to have any grip on reality’ you see as some sort of homogenous group, are not SAHM’s and therefore perceived somehow to have no relevant opinion on anything. You sound superior and judgemental, OP.

arethereanyleftatall · 15/10/2021 08:53

@FreedomFaith
Because @thisplaceisweird stat graph is pointless. We're testing more. Our numbers of deaths pp is lower than many countries.

hotmeatymilk · 15/10/2021 08:55

Nursery queue: small talk, smiling and nodding while distracted by snot/lost hat/passing info to nursery worker. Sometimes a chance to exchange a number with a parent you hope might be fun.

Play dates/playground time: conversation goes a bit deeper but endless distraction as small children try to kill themselves on equipment in imaginative ways.

Out for wine while other half stays on child duty: that’s when you get into the Tory slag-off deep dive.

You’re shooting your load too early, OP.

SickAndTiredAgain · 15/10/2021 08:56

@Silvercatowner

Now it is you sounding ignorant - you know coughs don't necessarily mean covid? That person may indeed have tested negative but didn't want to have a full convo in front of you

Would you SERIOUSLY go to a chemist and cough in front of everyone???

Good grief...

As I said previously, it's no wonder our numbers are so high.

DD had an awful cough for three months last year, we didn’t keep her in the house.
Pythonista · 15/10/2021 08:59

And perhaps I should lock myself away so as not to offend? What about asthmatics? Should they do the same?

I am finding this thread fascinating - the more superior and dismissive people are, the more they look ignorant themselves Grin

Couchbettato · 15/10/2021 09:04

@MargaretFaffter

Isn’t the right response to “how are you?” in these scenarios “fine thanks! You?”, to which they reply “yeah, all good!”?
Yes! Especially to a stranger. You don't want to dump your baggage on someone you hardly know. Save that shit for a friend
silveryslade · 15/10/2021 09:04

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

silveryslade not offended in the slightest- bemused really
You forgot the tinkly laugh that goes with that sort of comment.
GregoryFluff · 15/10/2021 09:04

@Silvercatowner

Now it is you sounding ignorant - you know coughs don't necessarily mean covid? That person may indeed have tested negative but didn't want to have a full convo in front of you

Would you SERIOUSLY go to a chemist and cough in front of everyone???

Good grief...

As I said previously, it's no wonder our numbers are so high.

If I had tested negative and I had a persistent cough, of course I would go to the chemist to get some medicine for it, what else so you think people should do?

Jesus

Rosesareyellow · 15/10/2021 09:07

It was just small talk - I think you’re detailed response to ‘how’s work’ at a quick nursery drop off was more odd than theirs tbh.
I work in a school so I’m therefore aware that there are a lot of Covid cases still around - outside of work it wouldn’t be so obvious at all. Besides, it’s just awkward small talk (made more awkward by your intense response, they were probably just trying to lighten the mood around the kids) - people often say things in weird ways when they’re making quick conversation (I always walk away from conversations like this thinking ‘why did I say it like that?…’ I take heart in the fact that no one probably cared or would remember - but with you OP that wouldn’t be the case Blush) You’re reading way to much into this.

lnsufficientFuns · 15/10/2021 09:07

Maine they have their own issues OP

Coronavirus isn’t really my own field of vision right now, I have more pressing issues to cope with sadly

Comedycook · 15/10/2021 09:08

Well I also find this sort of thing bemusing. I think you must have to go out of your way to avoid having any knowledge on current affairs or politics. I mean, what do you do? Turn off the TV or radio as soon as the news comes on? Swipe away any news that comes up on your phone. I mean it must actually be quite difficult to avoid knowing what's going on. This is the age of the internet...we aren't waiting for news to arrive via a messenger on a horse with a scroll

SmileyClare · 15/10/2021 09:08

I agree with Willow The covid comment could have been tongue in cheek/light hearted sarcasm.

And also this You're shooting your load too early save the political stuff for a different setting.

GitsandShigggles · 15/10/2021 09:08

You need to dig deeper into the data - rest of Europe are doing far fewer tests compared to UK, hence the number of detections are lower. That said we're at a point where we need to stop being scared of Covid, accept it's in society and live our lives as we used to.

To be frustrated by people who are just oblivious
Redredwiney · 15/10/2021 09:09

@Silvercatowner

Now it is you sounding ignorant - you know coughs don't necessarily mean covid? That person may indeed have tested negative but didn't want to have a full convo in front of you

Would you SERIOUSLY go to a chemist and cough in front of everyone???

Good grief...

As I said previously, it's no wonder our numbers are so high.

So what are you meant to do if you have a cough that’s not covid? I had a terrible cough lately - a chest infection for which I needed antibiotics. What should I have done? Not sought medical help? You sound really ignorant…
TheyWentToSeaInASieve · 15/10/2021 09:11

Your attitude, OP, is the reason most people postpone seeking help till they are absolutely desperate. We don't dare upset you, public workers, any more than you already are. At least, you can leave if you are not happy.

lottiegarbanzo · 15/10/2021 09:12

They're doing simple social chit chat, not interviewing you for Newsnight.

MrsSkylerWhite · 15/10/2021 09:14

People in that situation don’t want real answers, it’s small talk. Like if you ask how someone is and they actually tell you, rather than saying “fine”.

Redredwiney · 15/10/2021 09:17

You come off a bit self obsessed OP. Whether they are SAHMs or work in different industries, doesn’t mean they don’t have their own stresses. It really does sound as if you want it to be all about you. They were making small talk, not seriously asking for details on social care yet because you work in the public sector, you seem to want some sort of acknowledgment for that.

merrymouse · 15/10/2021 09:19

Lol - despite the HUGE sign in the chemist that says 'do not enter if you have a cough'?

Well that’s people who have chronic bronchitis due to emphysema told then!

Softleftpowerstance · 15/10/2021 09:24

They really did nothing wrong. They empathised with you. They confirmed that your work stresses are soooo important that they have heard about them on the news. What did you want? God grief we all have to learn that polite enquiries are not an invite for a deep dive into our workplace’s structural failings.

Public sector here too and I spent the first few months of covid feeling like my work was Very Important and no one could be as stressed as me. Then I came up for air, spoke to friends and realised everyone was living their worst life.

Pythonista · 15/10/2021 09:26

@merrymouse

Lol - despite the HUGE sign in the chemist that says 'do not enter if you have a cough'?

Well that’s people who have chronic bronchitis due to emphysema told then!

Never seen one of those
Pythonista · 15/10/2021 09:26

One of those signs I mean

ImNotDancing · 15/10/2021 09:28

@Silvercatowner

I was at the chemist stood behind someone who said to the assistant 'I've got a really bad cough (cough cough) please can you recommend something?'

After 20 months...

Oh bog off. Covid isn’t the only reason for a cough. It’s people like you that made me scared to go out at the moment- I have a horrendous cough from a cold. I know full well it isn’t Covid as I had Covid in September but I ‘love’ the comments and looks I get when I have the energy to pop out
MolyHolyGuacamole · 15/10/2021 09:28

@Comedycook

I once made the huge mistake of mentioning something I'd seen on the news at a baby group...the blank faces staring back at me made me realise I'd made a faux Pas.

Oh and I remember the morning after they'd announced the brexit vote and a school mum ran up to me in the playground and said "oh my god, did you hear what happened? They have rescheduled the class assembly".

Yanbu. I don't know how some people get through the day

Yes this is exactly the tone I picked up from OP's post, but a lot of people don't seem to get it