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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be frustrated by people who are just oblivious

306 replies

Manyview · 15/10/2021 07:07

Nursery drop off queue - always a joy

Particular group of parents who just don't seem to have any grip on reality

Husband and I work hard in public sector jobs. They asked me how work is (for me social care) and I was like well pretty manky, big staff and money shortages, everyone's working v hard etc

Response : oh yeah I think I heard something about that last week...and covid is still about a bit isn't it apparently?? Did you hear that?

Is it just me? How can you be soooooo oblivious to real (and stressful) life around you? How can people be just so lacking in understanding of the genuine issues affecting real people?

OP posts:
Cuddlyrottweiler · 15/10/2021 09:28

I don't understand what they're supposed to be missing. I don't know what the care industry is like to work in. You don't know what my industry is like to work in. No one knows everything. Covid is currently having very little impact on my day to day life, I couldn't tell you how many people have it or have died from it. I had no issue getting fuel, have had no issue getting food. There are things I'm worried about but actually my day to day life is pretty normal, maybe I'm oblivious?

Procrastination4 · 15/10/2021 09:29

@MissChanandlerBong81

yes I'm looking at you mother of 4 who only drops off one child but brings the other 3 to the door so that they can all say a goodbye that resembles an immigrant wake while the rest of us politely queue up behind you

I may be derailing the thread but what is an ‘immigrant wake’?

It comes from Ireland-or at least I know it as an Irish expression. The family of the person leaving/emigrating, especially to America or Australia, during the Famine would have a big gathering(lots of drink and food(sounds like a contradiction but it was a big deal as they knew the person was not likely to ever cone back so a huge effort would be made) so it was a party to all intents and purposes) for them before they left and it used to resemble the big gathering (lots of drink and food so that it’s like a party) that people had in their homes when a family member died and was laid out in the home before being taken to the church for mass and burial. (Pre Covid, we still had them here a lot -Catholic and Irish, living in Ireland.)
HunterHearstHelmsley · 15/10/2021 09:30

Oh Gawd. One of those people when you say "you alright?" that repsonds with "not really" and starts giving you their life story. I'm always mortified for them, I can only assume they have very little social contact and want to gobble up the scraps of social niceties.

I work in health and social care. If someone told me their job was "manky", I would find a way to extricate myself quickly. I know the current issues. I don't want to discuss them with random strangers.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 15/10/2021 09:31

As I said previously, it's no wonder our numbers are so high

Our numbers are high because because with non covid coughs go to the chemist...?

mountbattenbergcake · 15/10/2021 09:32

I think lots of people have switched off from Covid, rich and poor, and it’s kind of understand me given the 16 months we had!

Pythonista · 15/10/2021 09:32

And has it occurred to the superior amongst us that the reason they seem "ignorant" is because they aren't interested in getting into discussions with people who are oblivious to the social norms? As I said upthread I am autistic but even I know not to try to drag strangers into deep convo

Procrastination4 · 15/10/2021 09:32

@Taswama yes it should be “emigrant”. I assumed the poster who used the term just mixed up “emigrant” with “immigrant”.

Redredwiney · 15/10/2021 09:35

@Pythonista

And has it occurred to the superior amongst us that the reason they seem "ignorant" is because they aren't interested in getting into discussions with people who are oblivious to the social norms? As I said upthread I am autistic but even I know not to try to drag strangers into deep convo
This. I have a very stressful and demanding job in the private sector. I’m talking about work into early hours every times a week and often give up weekends. But that’s my job and my world. I don’t expect friends in other sectors to feel sorry for me when they have their own jobs, so I don’t bore them with my work.

What is annoying is when people complain to me about how busy they are, as though they’re the first in the world to work longer hours…

Redredwiney · 15/10/2021 09:37

*several, not every!

HarryPotterFan21 · 15/10/2021 09:37

There trying to have a simple chat and your making it all about yourself. YOU are the problem OP. The world doesn't evolve around you. Why don't you ask how they are for a change? Hmm

YetAnotherSpartacus · 15/10/2021 09:38

Yanbu. I don't know how some people get through the day

I don't know how some remember to breathe.

MagnoliaBeige · 15/10/2021 09:40

I mean this kindly but I think it was you who were oblivious in this situation. It’s highly likely they were just making small talk to pass the time while waiting, they probably didn’t expect you to say anything more than “busy” or “fine”.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 15/10/2021 09:40

There [sic] trying to have a simple chat and your [sic] making it all about yourself

According to the OP "They asked me how work is (for me social care)..."

Pythonista · 15/10/2021 09:40

As for the "no wonder the covid numbers are like they are, given people go into chemist with a cough"

I did not leave my house for eight months from December. Which is more extreme than most. But yes, I am going into a pharmacy to request temporary relief from my cough occasionally. Luckily our pharmacies don't have these imaginary signs telling people not to enter with a cough.

A lot of places do have signs about new coughs or covid symptoms. Perhaps you are mixing these up which is fairly ignorant

Pythonista · 15/10/2021 09:41

@YetAnotherSpartacus

There [sic] trying to have a simple chat and your [sic] making it all about yourself

According to the OP "They asked me how work is (for me social care)..."

To which the answer is "hectic as ever", smile or eye roll and then move the conversation onto something else.
Redredwiney · 15/10/2021 09:43

@YetAnotherSpartacus

There [sic] trying to have a simple chat and your [sic] making it all about yourself

According to the OP "They asked me how work is (for me social care)..."

“It’s good thank you, really busy right now but it’s going ok”.

And end of conversation.

WalkingOnTheCracks · 15/10/2021 09:44

[quote Cofifeefee]@misschanandlerBong81 an immigrant wake is an Irish thing. In the late 19th century, it was unlikely that people who immigrated to America would ever come back to Ireland so the farewell "party" was likened to a funeral wake because the family were never going to see the person again.[/quote]
That'd be an 'emigrant wake'.

frazzledali · 15/10/2021 09:50

well this thread is absolutely depressing. Sure, small talk at the nursery gate, we don't want to know your life story, etc etc. But if we're just going to ignore the collapse of social care, the fact that we have rising Covid as we go into winter (and those of you saying 'dig into the data', don't embarrass yourselves any more) and be absolutely ok with everyone being completely uninformed, then we're just fucked. We'll have to acknowledge it at some point...

Pythonista · 15/10/2021 09:53

@frazzledali

well this thread is absolutely depressing. Sure, small talk at the nursery gate, we don't want to know your life story, etc etc. But if we're just going to ignore the collapse of social care, the fact that we have rising Covid as we go into winter (and those of you saying 'dig into the data', don't embarrass yourselves any more) and be absolutely ok with everyone being completely uninformed, then we're just fucked. We'll have to acknowledge it at some point...
Nobody is ignoring anything. I have done everything to mitigate covid risk and will continue to do so. We all know about the social care, especially as, ya know, we are going to be paying more from next year.

Don't let that get in the way of being superior and better informed than everyone though

MrsSkylerWhite · 15/10/2021 09:56

Most people are well aware. They just don’t want to be bogged down with it by an angry stranger when they’re waiting to greet their children.

Pythonista · 15/10/2021 09:58

Feeling superior to the people around you is staggeringly rude and unaware

MimosaFields · 15/10/2021 10:00

They are just making small talk. They don´t want to hear about the issues you have at work!! It is the same as when someone asks casually "how are you?". You don´t go into a tirade regarding you liver issues and your pelvic floor weakness, do you?

hangrylady · 15/10/2021 10:00

@Silvercatowner

I was at the chemist stood behind someone who said to the assistant 'I've got a really bad cough (cough cough) please can you recommend something?'

After 20 months...

So you're not allowed a cough now? That person may well had had a Covid test which was negative and they just have a normal cold. Confused
Pythonista · 15/10/2021 10:02

@MimosaFields

They are just making small talk. They don´t want to hear about the issues you have at work!! It is the same as when someone asks casually "how are you?". You don´t go into a tirade regarding you liver issues and your pelvic floor weakness, do you?
I imagine quite a few posters on here would do exactly that Hmm
hangrylady · 15/10/2021 10:03

@Silvercatowner

Now it is you sounding ignorant - you know coughs don't necessarily mean covid? That person may indeed have tested negative but didn't want to have a full convo in front of you

Would you SERIOUSLY go to a chemist and cough in front of everyone???

Good grief...

As I said previously, it's no wonder our numbers are so high.

Well yes if I'd had a negative test and needed cough medicine. You're ridiculous.