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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be frustrated by people who are just oblivious

306 replies

Manyview · 15/10/2021 07:07

Nursery drop off queue - always a joy

Particular group of parents who just don't seem to have any grip on reality

Husband and I work hard in public sector jobs. They asked me how work is (for me social care) and I was like well pretty manky, big staff and money shortages, everyone's working v hard etc

Response : oh yeah I think I heard something about that last week...and covid is still about a bit isn't it apparently?? Did you hear that?

Is it just me? How can you be soooooo oblivious to real (and stressful) life around you? How can people be just so lacking in understanding of the genuine issues affecting real people?

OP posts:
Footprintsonthemoon1 · 15/10/2021 08:23

I feel like this is the kind of thread where op is going to say "they're all sahms..."

Just make small talk, ou really can't expect them to care much about your job. Did you ask about their work?

TractorAndHeadphones · 15/10/2021 08:24

You sound very socially unaware OP.
They’re probably well aware just don’t want to discuss things at the nursery gate!

ILoveJamaica · 15/10/2021 08:26

Lighten up.

nordica · 15/10/2021 08:30

I know what you mean, OP. I'm always slightly surprised when people don't seem to have any idea of what is going on in the country or the world in general. I don't expect an in-depth interest and knowledge about everything, just a general overview you get from watching the 6 o'clock news.

It's things like someone posting in the local FB group on the day of the parliamentary elections to ask what election is happening today, 🤨 or at this point in the pandemic asking how you can get a covid test if you have symptoms and are they free.

People who don't take any interest in current affairs are also easily swayed by misinformation so it has an impact on us all.

silveryslade · 15/10/2021 08:32

A lot of people are unable to even start to think about it, they have to do lalala.

@rrhuth, if there is stuff a person has to do they need to focus on it before they focus on the rest. Otherwise nothing would get done very well at all. They'd just spend their time being miserable instead of potentially getting much more done albeit in an orderly fashion only known to them. It's not up to you to judge their priorities, you don't truly know what they are.

Taswama · 15/10/2021 08:35

Shouldn't that be emigrant wake then?

I have always been interested in current affairs and shocked at friends who know the names of all the celebrities but would struggle to tell you who the leader of the Opposition is.

But in the last 18 months I've massively reduced my consumption of news, listened to radio 2, 3 or 6 rather than radio 4 and forced myself to put the ipad down and read a book because I couldn't cope with it on top of the stresses in my own life. I'm sure I'm not alone and even pre Covid I didn't really have time for more than a quick hello at nursery drop off.

LakeShoreD · 15/10/2021 08:36

You’re the oblivious one. They were very obviously trying to make light hearted small talk. Read the room (or the queue) in future.

Theredjellybean · 15/10/2021 08:39

I'm with OP
The lack of intellect, critical thinking and just general awareness in many adults in this country is shocking.
I get the morning drop of small talk thing... But surely if the person wanted to avoid discussion they'd have replied "oh dear, that does sound tough"
Not made some half baked comment to try to show how they did know about the stuff the op was talking about.

Jk987 · 15/10/2021 08:41

You're choosing the wrong people to moan about work to. You're over thinking.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 15/10/2021 08:41

@Theredjellybean

I'm with OP The lack of intellect, critical thinking and just general awareness in many adults in this country is shocking. I get the morning drop of small talk thing... But surely if the person wanted to avoid discussion they'd have replied "oh dear, that does sound tough" Not made some half baked comment to try to show how they did know about the stuff the op was talking about.
Yeh I agree- there’s a way to brush off unwanted convo- they just sound oblivious or thick
SickAndTiredAgain · 15/10/2021 08:41

I know what you mean, OP. I'm always slightly surprised when people don't seem to have any idea of what is going on in the country or the world in general. I don't expect an in-depth interest and knowledge about everything, just a general overview you get from watching the 6 o'clock news.

As far as social care goes, it sounds like that’s what this person had, they said they’d heard something about it last week.
And covid, I just checked the bbc news app, and there are two covid stories on the front page, one the false negatives at Newbury, and the other to do with cheap covid tests for travel. Nothing at all on cases, or deaths, or anything like that.

Pythonista · 15/10/2021 08:42

@Silvercatowner

I was at the chemist stood behind someone who said to the assistant 'I've got a really bad cough (cough cough) please can you recommend something?'

After 20 months...

Now it is you sounding ignorant - you know coughs don't necessarily mean covid? That person may indeed have tested negative but didn't want to have a full convo in front of you.

I have a chronic cough - had it five years and counting. Sometimes I get things just to try to calm it if it is particularly bad

Pythonista · 15/10/2021 08:44

The nastiness and superiority of some posters on here is breathtaking. I am fully aware of events from the news but I don't want to discuss them with randomers.

It's not the same as being ignorant

x2boys · 15/10/2021 08:45

I think people are also sick to the back teeth of talking about covid, i watch the news daily and check the stats but I'm aware people don't always want to engage in a discussion about covid.

SmileyClare · 15/10/2021 08:45

I think it's easy to resent other people's easy lives when you're having a tough time.

Don't assume others aren't coping with real issues; elderly parents, illness, money problems, mental health issues, bereavement, an abusive partner, cancer or a stressful job, just because you feel hard done by.

Lots of people don't keep up with current affairs or take interest in politics, for a myriad of reasons. Perhaps they are far less intelligent than you.

There really is no point getting bitter and angry about that, or feeling superior because you are more informed.

TicTacHoh · 15/10/2021 08:45

@x2boys

I think people are also sick to the back teeth of talking about covid, i watch the news daily and check the stats but I'm aware people don't always want to engage in a discussion about covid.
This. With bells on.
silveryslade · 15/10/2021 08:47

Yeh I agree- there’s a way to brush off unwanted convo- they just sound oblivious or thick

@OnlyFoolsnMothers, oh dear, I bet people have to really watch what they say around you! I think I'd be keeping my mouth firmly shut. Although you might be offended by that too. It's really difficult to be around people who get so offended easily. It's pretty alienating.

SmileyClare · 15/10/2021 08:47

I think you used the term "manky" incorrectly. Maybe that threw the conversation off Grin

Manky definition: inferior, dirty or soiled.

BoxOfDreams · 15/10/2021 08:48

@thisplaceisweird

Having lived in a few different European countries for 5+ years each, I will say it's shocking how un-switched on British people are. No real interest or understanding of politics other than sensationalist headlines, no clue what's going on at a global political/economic scale and of course a real lack of concern or care around COVID. This is all just based on my experiences of course but it's quite dramatically different.

Saw this graph published just today which says it all.

You conveniently ignore the bit on that graph that states confirmed cases bears no resemblance to actual cases. This is due to number of tests carried out. The UK has carried out 4x as many tests per m/pop as Germany for example and about 3x more than Italy per m/pop. Hardly surprising we record a lot more cases.
To be frustrated by people who are just oblivious
Silvercatowner · 15/10/2021 08:51

Now it is you sounding ignorant - you know coughs don't necessarily mean covid? That person may indeed have tested negative but didn't want to have a full convo in front of you

Would you SERIOUSLY go to a chemist and cough in front of everyone???

Good grief...

As I said previously, it's no wonder our numbers are so high.

Pythonista · 15/10/2021 08:51

Plus being more informed is bollocks. Plenty of people are informed, they also know more than you about some things. But nobody wants to hear a stranger whining about their job in depth. I'm autistic and clearly have more awareness of manners than you

EspressoDoubleShot · 15/10/2021 08:51

Immigrant wake? Irish term. Whole family send off. A mass gathering and gawp
Meet up prior to the family member moving to USA. The whole family attend. The mammy,the da,the weans

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 15/10/2021 08:51

silveryslade not offended in the slightest- bemused really

LoisWooookersonsLastNerve · 15/10/2021 08:51

This is why I avoid talking to people. You can't even make small talk without being critiqued. Keep yourself to yourself if you want to vent about work, vent to people in a similar field. It's not up to some harassed parent on the school run of a morning to impress you with their knowledge of current affairs! It does worry me that people are apathetic about the world around them but you are being harsh.

MydogWillow · 15/10/2021 08:52

Oh lordy, I've read their response again.

Was it possibly sarcastic...?

In either case your social cues may need refining a little.