My partner users my towels, flannel etc

[007Stocko]

AIBU to expect to have my own towel, flannel etc? My partner and I have lived together for just over 2 years now and it annoys me that they keep using 'my' towels etc.

I don't mean as in I have my own set, like mine are green ones and yours are the blue ones, but once we start a clean set of towels we should stick to our own set, or am I being too fussy?

We don't share towel in my house. I get in the shower straight after dh in the mornings so I'm not going to use his towel at that point because it's wet.

Also can't fathom people who use a clean towel every day. Assume they're also the types who drive the five minute walk to the shop to buy a pint of milk and don't separate their recycling. No wonder the planet is fucked.

@BashfulClam

Once o saw how vigorously DH polishes his knob and balls when drying I vowed never to share a towel with him.

@cultkid

God we all use the same towels and flannels and I even share a tooth brush with my husband

Don’t share toothbrushes, really good way of passing on blood borne infections.

Why are sex and towel use being confused here?

Towels are gross - they wipe body fluids, dead skin, dirt and anything the person didn't wash away properly. All this breeds bacteria on moist towels. WHY ON EARTH would anyone want to share these with any adult regardless of love sex etc?

Totally agree with @HebalGerbil

@TeenTitan007

Why are sex and towel use being confused here?

Towels are gross - they wipe body fluids, dead skin, dirt and anything the person didn't wash away properly. All this breeds bacteria on moist towels. WHY ON EARTH would anyone want to share these with any adult regardless of love sex etc?

Totally agree with @HebalGerbil

I normally use a towel when I'm clean.

YANBU! Everyone here uses own towel once it's "theirs" between washes. It would really gross me out if my partner used mine! Obviously occasionally we accidentally swap but generally his are hung behind door and mind are on the rack so it's easy to remember which is which.

I wouldn't share a towel with DH because he never hangs them up to dry properly; if it wasn't for that, I wouldn't care.

People who wash towels after every use are nuts. No wonder the environment is fucked.

Can i ask what people do with ‘flannels’ ?

We use towels a couple of times each before washing. So have "our own" as in whoever uses it first she's it again the next couple of times.

It then once washed and dried the 'ownership' resets.

Although we'll sometimes accidentally use the other persons if the first to shower that morning forgets which towel was theirs when both are dry.

Flannels we don't use tons. More for DC. But I just put out a clean one each day. Same as the hand towel.

And in my mind the hand towel is the least sanitary to share as it's used so much more frequently.

So unless you have separate hand towels then I think YAB a bit U.

I prefer to stick to using my own and him using his. The last guy I lived with was incapable of washing properly so towels he used were always grubby and he didn't hang them properly so they never dried.

But how does your bf know which are yours on a clean set?

The obvious answer is to have a set each in a specific colour and then you each have your own colour. This also worked with my ex because he used to moan that I washed the towels too often so I could just wash mine and leave his as we did our laundry separately anyway (because I can't use biological powder and he insisted on using it, so we had to do it separately).

@Frauhubert

Can i ask what people do with ‘flannels’ ?

Wash my face with it

@Frauhubert

Can i ask what people do with ‘flannels’ ?

Wash my face.

What do you think people do with them and why is it in inverted commas?

Yeah i agree, if you are going more than one use between washes then its whoevers for the duration of its time out the cupboard and into the wash basket.

Gross. So people are filthy if they don't shower twice a day but it's fine to wipe your body after with a towel that's previously been used to wipe arseholes and willys? No wonder you need to shower so frequently....
It's like people who share toothbrushes. That's the grossest. You might kiss someone but washing your mouth with someone's eau de morning breath?

Wtf are people assuming the partner must be a man, and the op a woman. Hasn’t thr world moved past this straight bias. What’s actually wrong with people.

@Bluntness100

Wtf are people assuming the partner must be a man, and the op a woman. Hasn’t thr world moved past this straight bias. What’s actually wrong with people.

Good point.

@Bluntness100

Wtf are people assuming the partner must be a man, and the op a woman. Hasn’t thr world moved past this straight bias. What’s actually wrong with people.

No one is assuming that, though, are they? They are commenting on their own families. Most MNetters are women; most people are heterosexual, therefore most posts reflect this.

I don't want to share a towel which has been used to dry a bum of either sex.

LOL I just remembered this thread this morning and apparently people not only just wipe their arse with dry paper and go on about their days, they also think that it's normal or OK to use a flannel more than once without washing it? And they think I'm the disgusting one for washing my arse with a clean flannel? I also have a bidet sprayer so I can assure everyone that unlike the dry-paper brigage there are no "dingle berries" in play (had to look that one up, thanks).

For those of you who need hygiene lessons: Take a clean wash cloth for EVERY shower. Wash yourself, including your legs (no, letting the water run down your shins doesn't count). If you aren't doing laundry right away, let your flannel/washcloth dry before putting it in the bathroom laundry basket (otherwise it mildews). Repeat these simple steps EVERY time you shower. Now isn't that nice, you don't smell like old milk and wet dog!

Wroxie, Who made you the boss of washing

I didn't care about this until I found skid marks all over my towel and found out he dries his arse crack with it. I do not want to dry my face on something he's had up his arse crack.

For many many years after this, I kept my own towel in my room which annoyed me but he seemed incapable of just using his own towel for some unknown reason.

Gradually he's developed and matured (!!) and now seems to be able to cope if I have my towels on the back of the bathroom door, and his on the towel rail.

No one is assuming that, though, are they? They are commenting on their own families. Most MNetters are women; most people are heterosexual, therefore most posts reflect this

Exactly. It’s not “straight bias” to assume a poster on MN is a woman, it’s just shorthand. And equally where a thread is about pne partner doing something thoughtless or gross 9/10 it’s a man.

This is why I'm slowly destroying the environment as I have to take a clean towel out of the cupboard each time as cant trust dh or dc have used mine

I haven’t grown up in the UK, so the term flannel is not an obvious thing to me. I once heard something on the radio about a flannel being used by a whole family and it sounded as it was something more sinister than just washing face :)

@Frauhubert

I haven’t grown up in the UK, so the term flannel is not an obvious thing to me. I once heard something on the radio about a flannel being used by a whole family and it sounded as it was something more sinister than just washing face :)

In the days before everyone had bathrooms and/or plentiful hot water, lots of people used flannels to wash their pits/bits/feet and only had a full bath once a week. These days, most people use them to wash their faces, I think.