My partner users my towels, flannel etc

[007Stocko]

AIBU to expect to have my own towel, flannel etc? My partner and I have lived together for just over 2 years now and it annoys me that they keep using 'my' towels etc.

I don't mean as in I have my own set, like mine are green ones and yours are the blue ones, but once we start a clean set of towels we should stick to our own set, or am I being too fussy?

I’m quite laid back about most things but towels are not for sharing (apart from the hand towel in the downstairs loo).

We have separate towels and bathrooms although we only have one bath that we both use. Only change them every fourth day though when the bathrooms also get cleaned.

@nocluewhattowritehere

And I think your claim that you don't get properly clean if you don't use a washcloth (I assume that's what you mean by flannel) is nonsense!

So how else does ones body get properly cleaned? By the use of hands only?
@Anonymous48

You get clean in the shower using copious quantities of shower gel or soap.

You don’t get clean standing up at the basin or by marinating in your own filth in a bath with a flannel. You get in a bath when your clean, not before.

@nocluewhattowritehere

And I think your claim that you don't get properly clean if you don't use a washcloth (I assume that's what you mean by flannel) is nonsense!

So how else does ones body get properly cleaned? By the use of hands only?
@Anonymous48

Er, yes, of course!

@jaundicedoutlook and what do you use when applying shower gel or soap?
@Anonymous48 has said they don't agree that your body isn't properly cleaned if you haven't used a flannel to wash with.

So now that you've included yourself in the conversation, what is it that you wash with? Just your hands?

My DP dumps his towel on the floor before getting into bed and then when he goes to shower the next day and can’t find his, he’ll use my nice dry one that’s been left hanging up .

I’m sure he thinks I’m very anal about it when I ask him to use his own, or point Out that he needs to hang his up, but I’m not washing towels every day like some of you, they’re good for a couple of days at least, so they need to be hung up to dry. If he really pisses me off then I leave his on the floor and move mine into another room to dry so that he hasn’t got one at all but he still never learns. Over the summer we had shower towels and hot tub towels (smelled a bit chloriney so didn’t want to use them for showers) so double the washing anyway. No way I was going to be washing those 4 plus the kids towels every day. Madness.

Of course. It is the only hygienic way.

@Anonymous48 so when you're in the shower (or bath) and you use your shower gel or soap to wash your body, you apply this with your hands only? You don't use a flannel or even one of those scrunchie bath sponges to scrub your skin clean?

If that's the case, when it comes to washing your private areas and arm pits you're still only using your hands?

[quote nocluewhattowritehere]@Anonymous48 so when you're in the shower (or bath) and you use your shower gel or soap to wash your body, you apply this with your hands only? You don't use a flannel or even one of those scrunchie bath sponges to scrub your skin clean?

If that's the case, when it comes to washing your private areas and arm pits you're still only using your hands? [/quote]
@jaundicedoutlook sorry this was meant for you too

[quote nocluewhattowritehere]@Anonymous48 so when you're in the shower (or bath) and you use your shower gel or soap to wash your body, you apply this with your hands only? You don't use a flannel or even one of those scrunchie bath sponges to scrub your skin clean?

If that's the case, when it comes to washing your private areas and arm pits you're still only using your hands? [/quote]
Yes, I just use my hands to wash with soap, as does my husband. Why?

[quote nocluewhattowritehere]@Anonymous48 so when you're in the shower (or bath) and you use your shower gel or soap to wash your body, you apply this with your hands only? You don't use a flannel or even one of those scrunchie bath sponges to scrub your skin clean?

If that's the case, when it comes to washing your private areas and arm pits you're still only using your hands? [/quote]
Do you have trouble touching your private areas with your hands?

I don't and yes that's what I use!

I wouldn't use the term private areas though, I'd use genitals.

@Offmyfence not to mention her arm pits? Gosh!

As above - yes, hands are the correct instrument for the application of soap or shower gel to the genitals.

I prepare my fainting couch for afterwards in case the shock of cleaning them is too much for me.

[quote nocluewhattowritehere]@Anonymous48 so when you're in the shower (or bath) and you use your shower gel or soap to wash your body, you apply this with your hands only? You don't use a flannel or even one of those scrunchie bath sponges to scrub your skin clean?

If that's the case, when it comes to washing your private areas and arm pits you're still only using your hands? [/quote]
Yes, I use my hands. Those scrunchy things are breeding ground for bacteria and flannels are bad for the environment because of the frequent washing. I also use bar soap rather than shower gel.

I had an ex that didn’t wash his arse crack proper and would leave shite particles on the towel

So no OP YANBU because drying my self off with a towel I’ve dried my own crack with is different to drying with a towel someone else has used.

Hence me and DC have different coloured towels and it works great for us as DC prefers towels to smell of fabric softener and I do not.

[quote Anonymous48]@Offmyfence not to mention her arm pits? Gosh![/quote]
I just couldn't mention the armpits!!

@Anonymous48 I just find it so interesting that some people only use their hands to wash their body and genuinely believe they are clean. As in you don't use anything to scrub your body with, not a flannel, not a scrunchie sponge or anything else and you really believe you're body is as clean as possible?

I remember a time in sixth form where everyone was talking about what they use in the shower (a lot of African people use a longer type of sponge as opposed to a scrunchie sponge) and so many POC couldn't believe that some people only used their hands and that's it.
Maybe it's just a cultural difference as none of my friends or family only use their hands when bathing so it's always a shock to me when I hear that some people do. I find it more interesting then anything

@Offmyfence if you'd use the term genitals then that's great for you👍
No problem with touching my private areas with my hands lol that wasn't my point but carry on

[quote nocluewhattowritehere]@Anonymous48 I just find it so interesting that some people only use their hands to wash their body and genuinely believe they are clean. As in you don't use anything to scrub your body with, not a flannel, not a scrunchie sponge or anything else and you really believe you're body is as clean as possible?

I remember a time in sixth form where everyone was talking about what they use in the shower (a lot of African people use a longer type of sponge as opposed to a scrunchie sponge) and so many POC couldn't believe that some people only used their hands and that's it.
Maybe it's just a cultural difference as none of my friends or family only use their hands when bathing so it's always a shock to me when I hear that some people do. I find it more interesting then anything[/quote]
How would you even know this?! I have no idea how anyone outside this house cleans themselves 😐

@Enterifyoudare

If you share bodily fluids, I think it's a bit much to be precious about a towel.

Do you not wash them after each use anyway?

Are there genuinely people out there who wash towels after one single use? Do these people not ever consider the environment? The waste of water, cotton fibres, electricity? And WHY do they feel it is necessary? What on earth do they do with their towels that means they are dirty so quickly? Surely washing them once a week is fine. Once a month would probably also be fine. Had anyone ever in the whole history of mankind, EVER had a symptom as a result of using a towel that was also used for several days previously?

@EveningOverRooftops

I had an ex that didn’t wash his arse crack proper and would leave shite particles on the towel

So no OP YANBU because drying my self off with a towel I’ve dried my own crack with is different to drying with a towel someone else has used.

Hence me and DC have different coloured towels and it works great for us as DC prefers towels to smell of fabric softener and I do not.

EEw! That's not a towel shared issue but a dirty bastard issue!

[quote nocluewhattowritehere]@Offmyfence if you'd use the term genitals then that's great for you👍
No problem with touching my private areas with my hands lol that wasn't my point but carry on[/quote]
So what was your point? Because that's what I took from your comment as well.

[quote nocluewhattowritehere]@Offmyfence if you'd use the term genitals then that's great for you👍
No problem with touching my private areas with my hands lol that wasn't my point but carry on[/quote]
I'm sorry but private areas is just bizarre!!

Most adults are able to use the correct term!

It reminds me of the thread, where you OP described sanitary protection as youknows.

Are you that poster?

It's irrelevant what anyone else thinks, if it bothers you, that's all you need to know, and your partner is an arsehole if he doesn't respect this very simple request. It's not a big ask to request that he refrain from using your towel, is it? I'd be wondering what his fucking problem is, honestly. Is he daft or just a self-absorbed twat? Him refusing to respect this simple boundary is a red flag.

@BestestBrownies

Well this thread is insightful.

I still haven’t fully recovered from the fact that the vast majority on here think their arse is perfectly clean after a quick wipe with dry tissue

Honestly😂 it's so interesting to see how other people live