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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My partner users my towels, flannel etc

238 replies

007Stocko · 14/10/2021 17:41

AIBU to expect to have my own towel, flannel etc? My partner and I have lived together for just over 2 years now and it annoys me that they keep using 'my' towels etc.

I don't mean as in I have my own set, like mine are green ones and yours are the blue ones, but once we start a clean set of towels we should stick to our own set, or am I being too fussy?

OP posts:
Offmyfence · 14/10/2021 21:57

[quote nocluewhattowritehere]@Biscoffee As was I! Very bizzare indeed.

@Offmyfence I've had a few interactions with quite a few people and what I seem to be hearing is that it's okay to wash your body with hands only and that's it.
No need to keep going in circles making people repeat the same thing over and over.
No one's initiated a discussion about how cultural differences impact hygiene standards so nothing more from me![/quote]
Nothing more from you .... for the second time

Shallwegoforawalk · 14/10/2021 22:02

And yes OP seperate towels here, mostly because DH and I shower usually within an hour or so of each other in the morning and using a damp towel is unpleasant.

But also because I don't like the idea of his arse drying towel on any bits of me.
Mens bits are appealing in the heat of passion, but at 7am in a chilly en-suite the idea of Eau de Crack near my face is a hell no.

nocluewhattowritehere · 14/10/2021 22:02

@Offmyfence you asked me a question so I politely answered it? I guess you can't even be nice to people these days wow

Offmyfence · 14/10/2021 22:06

[quote nocluewhattowritehere]@Offmyfence you asked me a question so I politely answered it? I guess you can't even be nice to people these days wow[/quote]
Oh the these days analogy!

Jeez it was better back in the old days when "privates" were called "privates" and they weren't touched when washing!

DerAlteMann · 14/10/2021 22:17

People in families have separate towel and stuff?

BashfulClam · 14/10/2021 22:19

@DeepaBeesKit @2lsinllama I don’t wash out towels every day but I also get him to use hid own towel and I stick to mine. We wash our towels once a week. They get hung up to dry after every use.

Animood · 14/10/2021 22:25

I don't think I'd care about towels. I mean you're clean when you use it aren't you? And if you're having sex and sharing a bed??

housestuff · 14/10/2021 22:27

We use separate towels, though I wash mine after every use. I'm not worried from a hygiene perspective as my DH is very clean, but I don't want to be a) grabbing a damp towel or b) putting a towel that's been near someone's bum on my face. There's something nice about having a fresh towel everyday. DH keeps the same towel for a few days.

LubaLuca · 14/10/2021 22:27

I mean you're clean when you use it aren't you?

If towels don't get dirty with use, why do we wash them?

Scandicc · 14/10/2021 22:27

We share. My partner usually ask before touching a flannel if “he’s gonna want to put this on his face or not” depending on where it’s been

honeylemonteaforme · 14/10/2021 22:30

We share everything except our toothbrush

I really don't understand how people have sex at all if they are grossed out by things like towel sharing

Animood · 14/10/2021 22:32

@LubaLuca

I mean you're clean when you use it aren't you?

If towels don't get dirty with use, why do we wash them?

They get damp and don't dry fast enough and get smelly. I mean you've literally just washed when to use them... if you're having sex and sharing a bed with your partner you have worse!!! 🤣 (soz bit graphic)
Animood · 14/10/2021 22:33

@housestuff

We use separate towels, though I wash mine after every use. I'm not worried from a hygiene perspective as my DH is very clean, but I don't want to be a) grabbing a damp towel or b) putting a towel that's been near someone's bum on my face. There's something nice about having a fresh towel everyday. DH keeps the same towel for a few days.
You wash your towels after every use???

Never heard of anything like it! It's like a spa round your house! Haha

waitingpatientlyforspring · 14/10/2021 22:38

We use same set of towels, it doesn't bother either one of us.

billy1966 · 14/10/2021 22:39

We all have our own individual coloured towels.

I bought 3 each.

I do not change towels after every shower, they get washed every week.

I prefer my own towel.

Having had my own towel since my teens, it's not something I have thought about actually.

DeepaBeesKit · 14/10/2021 22:47

Let me just shock you all....

I don't use a flannel at all. I just use my own hands to wash.

DeepaBeesKit · 14/10/2021 23:00

Ps do people realise your skin is a living organ? It is a natural barrier, with healthy oils and microflora. Why the fuck would you want to scrub it and remove all that?

Sluicing with soapy water and using your hand is plenty enough to get you clean, fresh and hygienic.

Perhaps its worth clarifying. I'm an actual alive human being so not in fact targeting a sterile level of bodily cleanliness.

scarpa · 15/10/2021 00:07

@jaundicedoutlook

Really? You have this towering pile of flannels in the bathroom and wash one immediately after use? Glad you have the time for that - I’ll happily pass.
Your incredulous tone is very odd. I wash my face twice a day with a clean flannel each time, they go in the weekly wash with the towels. Have about 20 of them in a box under the sink, it's about half the size of a shoebox. Hardly a 'towering pile' - are you confusing towels with duvet covers?
scarpa · 15/10/2021 00:09

Towels are communal in this house! Also aghast at people washing their towels after every use, you must never stop doing washing. If there's 2 adults and 2 kids in a house that's FOUR TOWELS A DAY, my machine can handle 2 bath sheets at a time... so 2 washes a day just on towels? Fuck that.

Cheeseplantboots · 15/10/2021 03:00

My husband uses his own towel and has for over 25 years but me and the younger kids all use the same towels.

Pallisers · 15/10/2021 03:25

We all have our own towels and use them for several days - up to a week - before washing. No way would I share a towel with someone else by choice (nor a flannel but I don't use a flannel).

But then I won't share a bottle of water or drink from the same glass as dh or my kids. I'm alone in that in this house.

1forAll74 · 15/10/2021 04:06

You don't need to ask this question really. you should know, that half of all households use the same towels as eachother, and the others not. It doesn't matter really.

Hakunapotato · 15/10/2021 05:05

I just looked to check I wasn’t wrong in thinking hands are perfectly adequate to wash with and most articles including from Dermatology associations will advise to wash with your hands, and not soap your arms and legs. You’re not any cleaner for using a face cloth or scrunchie. More exfoliated, not cleaner. Potentially more irritated.

Simonjt · 15/10/2021 06:05

@DeepaBeesKit

Ps do people realise your skin is a living organ? It is a natural barrier, with healthy oils and microflora. Why the fuck would you want to scrub it and remove all that?

Sluicing with soapy water and using your hand is plenty enough to get you clean, fresh and hygienic.

Perhaps its worth clarifying. I'm an actual alive human being so not in fact targeting a sterile level of bodily cleanliness.

Those of us with dark skin end up with very matte grey skin if we don’t exfoliate regularly. Skin care very much depends on ethnicity.
cultkid · 15/10/2021 06:20

God we all use the same towels and flannels and I even share a tooth brush with my husband