Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My partner users my towels, flannel etc

238 replies

007Stocko · 14/10/2021 17:41

AIBU to expect to have my own towel, flannel etc? My partner and I have lived together for just over 2 years now and it annoys me that they keep using 'my' towels etc.

I don't mean as in I have my own set, like mine are green ones and yours are the blue ones, but once we start a clean set of towels we should stick to our own set, or am I being too fussy?

OP posts:
Briony123 · 14/10/2021 21:15

[quote nocluewhattowritehere]@Anonymous48 I just find it so interesting that some people only use their hands to wash their body and genuinely believe they are clean. As in you don't use anything to scrub your body with, not a flannel, not a scrunchie sponge or anything else and you really believe you're body is as clean as possible?

I remember a time in sixth form where everyone was talking about what they use in the shower (a lot of African people use a longer type of sponge as opposed to a scrunchie sponge) and so many POC couldn't believe that some people only used their hands and that's it.
Maybe it's just a cultural difference as none of my friends or family only use their hands when bathing so it's always a shock to me when I hear that some people do. I find it more interesting then anything[/quote]
In the UK most people wash every day and work in pretty clean environments so don't ever get very dirty or need a proper scrub. The closest we get is needing a good scrub after a camping holiday. I imagine people who work in dirty environments give themselves a proper scrub every night.

JoborPlay · 14/10/2021 21:17

nocluewhattowritehere why do you think you can't clean yourself properly with a hand? I'm not sure why a hand would be less effective than a scrunchie which are proven to harbour and breed bacteria because they never dry out and can't properly clean.

nocluewhattowritehere · 14/10/2021 21:17

@JoborPlay because my friends and family are always talking about things we've heard from other people especially when it comes down to hygiene. A lot of my friends were shocked when reading the thread on Twitter about people who didn't wash their legs in the shower hence it sparked a discussion.

My grandma taught all of her grandkids what to wash with, how to wash etc this was obviously enforced by our parents. Not difficult to know how people around you wash when we've all been raised so similarly due to culture lol

JoborPlay · 14/10/2021 21:19

[quote nocluewhattowritehere]@JoborPlay because my friends and family are always talking about things we've heard from other people especially when it comes down to hygiene. A lot of my friends were shocked when reading the thread on Twitter about people who didn't wash their legs in the shower hence it sparked a discussion.

My grandma taught all of her grandkids what to wash with, how to wash etc this was obviously enforced by our parents. Not difficult to know how people around you wash when we've all been raised so similarly due to culture lol[/quote]
I didn't ask how you know what people wash with.

Plus your answer doesn't stand up - my grandmother washed herself and her children with a flannel, but my mother didn't.

grapewine · 14/10/2021 21:19

I wouldn't like that. Echo the suggestion to get different colours. Or hide yours. Joking, sort of.

nocluewhattowritehere · 14/10/2021 21:20

@Offmyfence 'private areas,' 'genitals' it's all the same thing if you would have used a different word then that's honestly great for you. I said private area, I don't know what you want me to do about it?😂 no that was not me

nocluewhattowritehere · 14/10/2021 21:21

@JoborPlay sorry tagged the wrong person!

Froppysue · 14/10/2021 21:21

I don’t know why everyone is presuming op’s partner is a man.

Any who’s, I used to always try and separate towels for each of us in the family, even coloured ones each to start with then coloured tags.. nobody ever used their own ones! I just make sure I always use a clean one and if dh wants to use my used towel after me then that’s up to him, I’ll just make sure they’re washed properly and always take one myself from the clean pile! My dc each keep one hanging up, use it a couple times then it’s back in the wash too.

nocluewhattowritehere · 14/10/2021 21:21

@JesusIsAnyNameFree because my friends and family are always talking about things we've heard from other people especially when it comes down to hygiene. A lot of my friends were shocked when reading the thread on Twitter about people who didn't wash their legs in the shower hence it sparked a discussion.

My grandma taught all of her grandkids what to wash with, how to wash etc this was obviously enforced by our parents. Not difficult to know how people around you wash when we've all been raised so similarly due to culture lol

nocluewhattowritehere · 14/10/2021 21:25

@JoborPlay I'm wondering how people clean their private areas with just their hands. Like you're honestly cleaning your ass with your hand and your hand only? Not a flannel or anything else.... It's just bizzare to me that's all but if this is what some people do then each to their own

Anonymous48 · 14/10/2021 21:26

[quote nocluewhattowritehere]@Anonymous48 I just find it so interesting that some people only use their hands to wash their body and genuinely believe they are clean. As in you don't use anything to scrub your body with, not a flannel, not a scrunchie sponge or anything else and you really believe you're body is as clean as possible?

I remember a time in sixth form where everyone was talking about what they use in the shower (a lot of African people use a longer type of sponge as opposed to a scrunchie sponge) and so many POC couldn't believe that some people only used their hands and that's it.
Maybe it's just a cultural difference as none of my friends or family only use their hands when bathing so it's always a shock to me when I hear that some people do. I find it more interesting then anything[/quote]
Do you use a sponge or a flannel when you wash your hands? If not, do you consider your hands to be properly clean when you've washed them?

Why would you think you would be any cleaner if you use a sponge rather than your hands? It doesn't make any sense. It's the soap that cleans you.

Anonymous48 · 14/10/2021 21:27

[quote nocluewhattowritehere]@JoborPlay I'm wondering how people clean their private areas with just their hands. Like you're honestly cleaning your ass with your hand and your hand only? Not a flannel or anything else.... It's just bizzare to me that's all but if this is what some people do then each to their own[/quote]
Yes! Why not? I don't understand your confusion.

Offmyfence · 14/10/2021 21:27

[quote nocluewhattowritehere]@Offmyfence 'private areas,' 'genitals' it's all the same thing if you would have used a different word then that's honestly great for you. I said private area, I don't know what you want me to do about it?😂 no that was not me[/quote]
I think it's very indicative as to why you'd use a dirty scrunchie thing rather than your had to wash "your private areas", it's so excruciatingly coy.

But hey, you do you!

nocluewhattowritehere · 14/10/2021 21:28

@Briony123 your comment is reminding me of what Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher said about bathing themselves and their kids. That if they can't see any dirt on themselves then they won't bathe.

I use the term scrub lightly as I don't mean people need to scrub their skin because of visible dirt. However I'm starting to realise that I must clearly be within the minority of people who think it's not enough to wash with just your hand!

Feelinglow27 · 14/10/2021 21:29

Don't get the shocked thing over not washing your legs. Soap and hot water run down then in the shower, why would I need to specifically scrub them? They are covered in clothes all day, hardly getting dirty.

nocluewhattowritehere · 14/10/2021 21:30

@Feelinglow27

Don't get the shocked thing over not washing your legs. Soap and hot water run down then in the shower, why would I need to specifically scrub them? They are covered in clothes all day, hardly getting dirty.
?
nocluewhattowritehere · 14/10/2021 21:34

Time for me to head out and leave this thread! Some very interesting points made but I'll just put this down to a cultural difference as it's really not acceptable to wash yourself with just your hands in my
cultureGrin

Someone has come along to add that they see no point in washing their legs as the water runs down them in the shower so no need to focus on them specially. I'm honestly getting flashbacks of the comments people made regarding this topic on Twitter last year🤣

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 14/10/2021 21:37

[quote nocluewhattowritehere]@JesusIsAnyNameFree because my friends and family are always talking about things we've heard from other people especially when it comes down to hygiene. A lot of my friends were shocked when reading the thread on Twitter about people who didn't wash their legs in the shower hence it sparked a discussion.

My grandma taught all of her grandkids what to wash with, how to wash etc this was obviously enforced by our parents. Not difficult to know how people around you wash when we've all been raised so similarly due to culture lol[/quote]
Odd. I can't imagine ever talking about such boring topics with friends.

Biscoffee · 14/10/2021 21:41

@jaundicedoutlook

Whilst I’m about it, is it just me that’s slightly grossed by the idea that Wroxie is (by her own admission) cleaning her dingleberry infested arse crack with a flannel, which is then wrung out and left to dry on a warm radiator?
I think she uses the flannel to dry her bottom. Not wash her bottom.
Biscoffee · 14/10/2021 21:43

[quote nocluewhattowritehere]@Briony123 your comment is reminding me of what Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher said about bathing themselves and their kids. That if they can't see any dirt on themselves then they won't bathe.

I use the term scrub lightly as I don't mean people need to scrub their skin because of visible dirt. However I'm starting to realise that I must clearly be within the minority of people who think it's not enough to wash with just your hand![/quote]
I was rather taken aback when I read their comments.

Offmyfence · 14/10/2021 21:45

@nocluewhattowritehere

Time for me to head out and leave this thread! Some very interesting points made but I'll just put this down to a cultural difference as it's really not acceptable to wash yourself with just your hands in my cultureGrin

Someone has come along to add that they see no point in washing their legs as the water runs down them in the shower so no need to focus on them specially. I'm honestly getting flashbacks of the comments people made regarding this topic on Twitter last year🤣

Fair enough and it's not acceptable to call genitals "private parts" In my life. I'm still able to stop and discuss it though.

Not sure why you need to retreat and not discuss cultural differences?

Allywill · 14/10/2021 21:48

@bellabasset

I understand where you're coming from, I used clean towels everyday, my late dh made them so wet I had to wash them every day anyway!
In a four person household that would mean 28 towel washes a week! 120 a month, Surely this is madness!
gogohm · 14/10/2021 21:52

With exh we had a communal pile in the bathroom or on various floors for me to locate (rather than the towel warmer) with dp we have a towel each and hang in the en-suite in set places, it isn't that we care exactly but makes sense. I don't use a normal flannel he does so no issues there

nocluewhattowritehere · 14/10/2021 21:53

@Biscoffee As was I! Very bizzare indeed.

@Offmyfence I've had a few interactions with quite a few people and what I seem to be hearing is that it's okay to wash your body with hands only and that's it.
No need to keep going in circles making people repeat the same thing over and over.
No one's initiated a discussion about how cultural differences impact hygiene standards so nothing more from me!

Shallwegoforawalk · 14/10/2021 21:55

@nocluewhattowritehere how dirty do you think many of us get in temperate Britain, often sitting at a desk or doing a non-physically exerting job all day? Hardly needing a vigorous scrub down when half of us barely move for most of our waking hours or don't break a sweat anyway. Washing with hands is perfectly sufficient here.