My partner users my towels, flannel etc

[007Stocko]

AIBU to expect to have my own towel, flannel etc? My partner and I have lived together for just over 2 years now and it annoys me that they keep using 'my' towels etc.

I don't mean as in I have my own set, like mine are green ones and yours are the blue ones, but once we start a clean set of towels we should stick to our own set, or am I being too fussy?

Definitely stick to my own towel. Get a clean one if I suspect someone's been at mine. YANBU.

I get physically close to my DH, of course, and I enjoy that intimacy.

That does not mean I would, essentially, like to take my face and motorboat his arse cheeks...washed or unwashed.

Nor would I let him stick his bellend on my eyeball.

My towel is my towel.
I don't want his germs, pubes and dead skin on my towels.

@HebalGerbil

I get physically close to my DH, of course, and I enjoy that intimacy.

That does not mean I would, essentially, like to take my face and motorboat his arse cheeks...washed or unwashed.

Nor would I let him stick his bellend on my eyeball.

My towel is my towel.
I don't want his germs, pubes and dead skin on my towels.

I literally spat out my tea laughing at that

@HebalGerbil

I get physically close to my DH, of course, and I enjoy that intimacy.

That does not mean I would, essentially, like to take my face and motorboat his arse cheeks...washed or unwashed.

Nor would I let him stick his bellend on my eyeball.

My towel is my towel.
I don't want his germs, pubes and dead skin on my towels.

Laughing a lot at this! It's exactly how I feel.

@HebalGerbil

I get physically close to my DH, of course, and I enjoy that intimacy.

That does not mean I would, essentially, like to take my face and motorboat his arse cheeks...washed or unwashed.

Nor would I let him stick his bellend on my eyeball.

My towel is my towel.
I don't want his germs, pubes and dead skin on my towels.

Agreed!

Flannels are one use items- tiny things that hardy add to washing.
I only ever use hand towels after a shower. I like a fresh towel but can't be arsed washing and drying bath sheets.
One hand towel will dry my body and just big enough to wrap wet hair.
Goes in for washing straight after use.

Do you mean a clean towel that he uses then goes in the wash but it’s your colour? If so, YABU. If it goes in the wash after then what’s the problem?

If you mean he sneaks in and uses your towel that’s hanging up drying for a second day then leaves it there for you to unwittingly use the next day, then definitely, definitely YANBU.

We have our own towels here. No exceptions.

I don’t want to pat my face dry on one that’s dried my DH’s arse.

You're not too fussy at all.

It makes me feel sick to recount this story but I had a new partner and one morning I was waking up and I heard buzzing coming from the bathroom. That's weird... I thought, as I knew my partner didn't have an electric toothbrush as had seen the manual one.

Well, yuck - my partner came out saying "wow, that toothbrush is really aggressive". Yep. My toothbrush had been used. That morning I couldn't use it, I had to go to the supermarket and buy toothbrush heads.

Really unsafe actually. And for someone to do that without even asking is gross.

So no. If that's what you want they should respect that. It's different if both people are on the same page and are completely OK with sharing towels and flannels. But if you want your own they shouldn't overide that.

I assume you allow him to put his penis in you. Surely that's worse than sharing a towel?

We all share towels in our house. All 7 of us. Never even thought it was weird (plus, there'd be a crap load of towels in the bathroom if we all had our own).

I have my own colour for this reason.

@HerbalGerbil 'motorboat his arse cheeks' made me chuckle.

We have our own face flannels and towels and don't tend to share. Not so much for eeew reasons but practicalities. I use mine to take mascara off so my flannels are black. My little daughter has disney/character ones. Occasionally I use one of hers to take mascara off and she gets very cross to find telltale black smudges. Teenage son has grey ones (he really would go eeew at the idea of sharing). Husband can't be bothered with flannels.

Towels after use are hung from radiator rack in the user's bedroom so not much opportunity to use someone else's. Me and H have a double rack but we don't swap, mainly because the other one will probably be soggy. Using only your own one maximises drying time.

When I lived at home we had separate flannels but towels were just hung on a heated rack in the bathroom and it was a free for all. I didn't really give separate towels a thought until I moved into a house share and realised it was quite logical!

We have totally separate towels. I really don't want to dry my face on a towel he's dried his arse on.

We have separate towels. I use a clean flannel to dry my face twice a day.

I don’t want my own bum crack rubbed on my face let alone someone else’s.

Separate colours here.
My DH is prone to getting athlete's foot. No way would I want to share a towel with him.

Towels - I don't really care as we're already clean when we use them. I don't however use a towel more than twice because I get paranoid they might get musty from staying damp. Maybe three times in winter when they dry faster on the hot radiator. Also change the hand towel every day.

Flannels, however- are you all really using them more than once???!? You are presumably using them on your feet, your armpits, your genitals, and your arsehole (maybe not in that order)- even if the flannel dries out between showers, that's a one-person, one-use situation. In our house, used flannels are thoroughly rinsed and then they go on the small radiator by the bathroom window until dry, then they go in the bathroom towel hamper until there are enough towels and flannels for a boil wash. We have about 50 flannels in a little basket in the towel cupboard.

Definitely no towel sharing at all going on in this house. Everyone has their own colour.

This started when a DC had impetigo and we had to be very careful. We just continued as it seemed logical. Hand towels in kitchen and downstairs cloakroom are shared and washed regularly but they're only for hand use.

My husband and I share bodily fluids, but we still have our own bath towels. Not that I think anything bad would happen if we use each others (and we have done in hotels when there's no way of distinguishing between them), but still the idea is a bit icky to me. If we had to share it wouldn't be the end of the world, but there's no reason to so we don't. We also only wash our towels every week or so.
Hand towels we share, and neither of us use flannels. (I don't even know what you would use on for.)

All the towels get shared and washed regularly in our house. One of my friends washes her towels after every single use as she can't cope if her partner uses it to dry her bits. So then they obviously don't have sex then?!

Wouldn't bother me. We use our own body towels but share hair towels. Don't use flannels.

We (fam of 4) stick to our own. It wouldn't bother me over much if it was my partner though (apart from the towel would be drenched).

@Anonymous48 do you really not know what a flannel is used for? You put soap or body wash on it and you wash yourself. If you are just using your hands, you're not getting clean- you actually need some sort of texture and friction to remove dead skin cells and and the general buildup of living. If you use some kind of sponge or one of those net ball things, it's festering with bacteria. A flannel is used once (I hope) and then washed.

I notice that lots of English people have a bit of a musty smell sometimes that I put down to not being able to get their clothes completely dry in the winter when they couldn't peg them out but maybe it's just down to not washing correctly.

Crazy you kiss this person have sex share a bed but won't use a towel they have used.

yanbu
we all have our own hook for our towels.

flannels though are single use here. they go right in the wash after use.