My sister has said I've made things awkward but I disagree

[Robinson89]

I worked in child care for over 10 years, mainly as a nanny, and although I've changed professions completely now, I still occasionally babysit for some families during evenings and weekends. My rate is £10ph and has been for the last few years.

Last week my sisters friend (I don't know her personally) asked if I'd be interested in babysitting her children occasionally. I said yes and told her to pass my number on and let her know to ring me if she had any questions. Yesterday I received a text from the friend asking if I could babysit this upcoming weekend as she wanted to go on a night out for her friends birthday. It would be for around 6 hours until 11:30pm. I told her no problem, asked for her address and explained that my rate was £10. She replied shortly after explaining that she was looking to pay around £8.50 as that is all she could afford. I sent a polite text back to say I understood her position, but unfortunately my rate was £10 and it is what I charge all my families. I said if she changed her mind then to let me know and I'd happily babysit for her.

I never heard anything about it again until my sister phoned me this morning to say that her friend was really disappointed that she couldn't go on her night out and why would I expect £10 for basically putting the kids to bed and sitting on the sofa watching tv all night . I have no idea why my sister is even entertaining this, and frankly I'm a bit hurt. It has nothing to do with the fact that I'd be sat watching the tv whilst the kids are in bed. It's the fact that I'm giving up my weekend (I work full time myself) to babysit her children and not being able to spend time in my own home with my own family. I'm not desperate for the money so my down time is really important to me. I'm also a qualified trained professional who knows what to do in the event of an emergency. AIBU?

@Dovecare

I would not pay 10 per hour and I think 8.50 is reasonable.

So what. That's not the point. The point is would you demand someone you want to do a job for you to lower their rate to what you want to pay and berate them for not doing so? Why not just find someone else?

What job do you do, and would you find it acceptable if someone told you you must do your job for less to suit them?

@Dovecare

I would not pay 10 per hour and I think 8.50 is reasonable.

So you're not even willing to pay minimum wage to the person you're entrusting your children to?

@ILoveJamaica

I know £10 per hour sounds reasonable, but also I'm really shocked that people would pay £60 to a sitter. Maybe I'm just behind the times.

Sorry to say you are. £10 is a on the lower end where we are. Also we dont all have neighbours with teenage children round the corner.

I used to sing at weddings. My going rate was (depending on what was being sung, length of wedding, etc..) about $600Aud. I sang at the wedding of one of my Mum’s friend’s, who was a total PITA… changing her mind constantly about what she wanted performed - repeatedly, what she wanted me to wear, which hairdresser she wanted me to go to (I’m not part of the wedding party, Babycakes!), etc. Not the worst Bridezilla I’ve encountered, but up there, and made more complicated because I couldn’t tell her to jam it due to her relationship with my mum.
I had to put my foot down about changing the songs (again) about two weeks before the wedding, as I could not re-schedule practice times with accompanist prior to the event from that point. Had explained repeatedly we were locked in. Tears and phone calls to my mother, who tried to convince me that there “must be a way.” Ummmmm, nope. She called me a “Stuck up little Diva.” I pointed out that I had been more than accommodating, and she had signed a standard contract explaining all of these things - but because of her relationship with my mum I would make an exception to the rule, return her deposit and she could get another singer. She apologized and swore that she had understood everything, but the stress was getting to her.
On the day of the wedding, the accompanist and I were waiting to be paid and she wouldn’t look us in the eye. I spoke to the best man and he sheepishly returned with a shitty tulle bag of bulletproof sugar coated almonds each and said that this is what we had agreed to. We pointed out that the bride had signed legally binding contracts and needed to pay us that day. She rang my mother (again) who tried to waive my fees and those of the accompanist (whom she’d never met) until I explained that this was a court case in the making. We were accused of making things awkward too.

Omg! Did you get paid?!

Why doesn't your sister do it for £8.50ph? Problem solved

@MarleneDietrichsSmile - the accompanist’s partner is a solicitor. He was kind enough to write a letter for both of us, with attached copies of the contracts she had signed and receipts of received deposits we had received, which disproved any claims of “Mates Rates” or “Freebies.”. He then went on to outline that we would be happy to take them to court for breach of contract. If they lost the case, they would be liable for the court costs and all of our legal fees (he wouldn’t have charged us if she had proceeded, but she wasn’t to know… He would have come up with receipts from his firm to show otherwise if it went to court and we won though…) When she offered to pay, he made her sign something to state that she had deliberately attempted to defraud us and then continued a campaign of defamation and slander on social media to evade payment - and hit her with a court summons for that one as well.
The best bit was that he calculated the approximate cost of the shitty almonds and refunded that to her account after we received payment for the wedding. (40c Aud each.)

Never, ever piss off the passive aggressive solicitor partner of a pianist! (We’re all still mates, btw!!!)

[quote Justilou1]@MarleneDietrichsSmile - the accompanist’s partner is a solicitor. He was kind enough to write a letter for both of us, with attached copies of the contracts she had signed and receipts of received deposits we had received, which disproved any claims of “Mates Rates” or “Freebies.”. He then went on to outline that we would be happy to take them to court for breach of contract. If they lost the case, they would be liable for the court costs and all of our legal fees (he wouldn’t have charged us if she had proceeded, but she wasn’t to know… He would have come up with receipts from his firm to show otherwise if it went to court and we won though…) When she offered to pay, he made her sign something to state that she had deliberately attempted to defraud us and then continued a campaign of defamation and slander on social media to evade payment - and hit her with a court summons for that one as well.
The best bit was that he calculated the approximate cost of the shitty almonds and refunded that to her account after we received payment for the wedding. (40c Aud each.)

Never, ever piss off the passive aggressive solicitor partner of a pianist! (We’re all still mates, btw!!!)[/quote]
That’s brilliant!

Your mum didn’t really help matters there, did she?!

No… She absolutely had form for that kind of thing (including going off and having business cards printed, claiming to be my manager and wondering why I and my ACTUAL manager might have issues with her “just trying to help.”) but that would have filled many separate threads. (People would be advising me to go NC and telling me to check out the Stately Homes threads.) She’s no longer with us to meddle anymore, which is a huge relief.

@someofusdontknowwhy

She was quibbling over £9? If her budget is that tight that £9 is the difference between a night out or not then I think she needs to look at her priorities

I thought this. £1.50 per hour difference might be a big deal if you're employing someone long term, but for that 1 night it's not much. How strange.